Paradise Event
by SheerLuck Home
Summary: Experience a completely new style of bloody-scorched S**tmas with the heartlessly crazy Aya Brea as your flesh will melt from impatience to know how this will all evolve. Badassness inside. Firefighter equipment not included but greatly advised...
1. Day 1- SURPRISE

**Paradise Event**

Day 1: Surprise!

Pixel City, 1997 Christmas Eve; a day so full of lies and materialism that it's enough to make the Statue of Liberty cry blood. A day that would normally be utterly cheesy and boring as hell if it weren't for the special incoming events. This Christmas everyone will be burning up from pure happiness, so much that they would remember such a day if it weren't for the fact that they'll all die painfully. This year, the 'x' in 'X-mas' stands for Death, have a happy one full of warmth, ashes and unspecified gooey substance.

Initiate Surprise

An old rusted taxi drives dangerously and kills a hobo before pulling over near Canary-Energy Hall, almost losing a tire; tonight they welcome an opera singer who's going to be burned at the stake, one more opportunity to prove how Christmas is pure evil. The yellow car remains there but nothing happens, normally the valet would step over and open the door but he's been frozen on place hours ago having succumbed to harsh cold. Thus the woman inside pushed her own door open anyway, it's not like she didn't know how to do that already. Stepping out she stands there to admire the nice building; she never really cared for architectures but oddly decides that it's a good time to start doing so. Meanwhile, her so-called date looks at her from inside the car, his face too close from the glass, still waiting for the valet to give him a hand.

The woman shoves a five dollar bill in the valet's pocket; poor guy's going to need it to buy himself a hot coffee later, if he somehow resurrects until then. The date eventually figures out that he'll have to produce effort by himself in order to exit the car, which is a pain because according to him rich people shouldn't have to generate the slightest effort in anything. Anyway it was about time since the taxi driver had been looking at him strangely for the past two minutes…. now including leveling up a big knife coated with something brown.

The blond man stepped towards the woman, looking at her he sees that she just stands there appearing not even to blink, he gets confused, «What's wrong?...Are your eyes frozen? » She doesn't answer still so he continues, «You're the one who wanted to go to the opera so you better not make a fuss over this. Especially since I got us free tickets—I didn't say that. If you do complain, I just might….», a tear formed at the corner of his eye which froze in place leaving his left lid stuck shut.

She still looked straight ahead and said monotonously «My name's Aya Brea, 25, NYPD Officer and damn good at it. »

«…..what? »

«….I dunno….I just…..air bubbles clogged my synapses for a second. Well I guess I better try to have some fun, or at least fake it so as not to hurt your feelings. »

«…. »

«Sorry, guess I shouldn't have said that out loud. At the same time I didn't expect you were listening because it occurred to me during the drive to here that you lacked a functional brain due to saliva dripping from your mouth and your vacant stare. »

«…Erm, anyway, lighten up, we're gonna have a good time! You'll see! »

Oh he was so right.

Brea nodded for different reasons, «Let's go, the sooner we get in the faster we'll be out, so I can cleverly never see you again. » she started walking, leaving her unwanted-date behind.

He'd better hurry if he wants to live, December is so harsh.

They marched on the red carpet leading to their seats, the act was actually starting, must have spent too much time outside zoning out. Luckily they didn't die from cold else they would have missed the great show that was about to commence. If Aya knew how excellent it would be I'm certain she would have brought sticks and sausages to grill. Next they sat down and she eyed the huge chandelier standing over the stage, thinking that if that thing dropped it would kill all the actors and destroy the floor along with it; right now it shun with force as if powered by the Sun so much it was bright.

It was a miracle nothing had caught on fire.

Aya yawned thinking, _if I make it out of here alive, I'm going to need some sort of emergency kit to reinvigorate my spirit_ , so it was decided that when she'd arrive at her place she'd order an extra-large pizza. She finally paid attention to the stage, there were four actors and one of them was a tall figure wearing a red dress.

The one playing the guard clearly had it rough as for he didn't have to learn any script, poor man; the other two started saying theirs but Aya didn't listen. Instead she stared at the statue in the back; it was far more interesting than anything else at the time. Then suddenly the woman dressed in red moved, Brea was surprised as for she thought it merely had been an object so far. Then she wondered if the woman would pass out soon because there was no way the actress could breathe in that goddamn corset, even if her breasts clearly could.

The actress started singing and the cop thought, _alright she's good I'll give her that, although I think I'm feeling some unknown liquid starting to run down from my ears._ Everyone was in awe and someone threw pop-corn towards the stage; then the singer stared the cop's way, directly in her eyes. Aya wondered why the 'noise' kept coming out of the singer's closed mouth as the two women blinked in synchronicity, the actress smiling at her because her little secret was so damn good.

Brea might have felt like pointing out how weird that was, until something weirder occurred; the singer looked back at her colleagues and set them aflame just like that. The guard, who had done and said nothing so far, kept doing just that as the other men burned screaming in horror. Great job.

The Prince stumbled off the stage thus allowing the fire to spread into the crowd, hence inventing a new way to share the story with the clients. People did what they do best, which is usually nothing worthwhile; they started to scream and panic, running in all directions while stepping on each others. Seriously, there really was no reason to be that terrified; ordinary people are always overreacting. Still on stage, the guard finally caught on fire and grabbed the left-side curtain in a most awkward manner before succumbing to scorching fire. I guess he told himself that if he was to go down, so would the curtains; now that's just wicked.

On the second floor ground some people were still watching because they thought that all the stench of burning flesh and people puking was part of the act. Meanwhile the actress stood in the middle of the stage looking quite pleased, colored spot lights clamoring her. Aya looked around thinking that maybe things had gone too far. But clearly not enough still as she merely watched the man at her immediate left while he wondered in horror why his hand hurt so fucking much, before catching on fire himself.

The woman seated next to him though didn't seem to realize something was wrong until she also shared his exciting fate. The humans that weren't burning ran towards the exit while some people jumped from the terrace above; I don't see how that would help. A valet was seen trying to direct the masses towards the exit, too bad he's going to burn alive; this job is so cruel. Aya, who was still just sitting there because she enjoys a warm fire, managed to avoid a man falling from above by rolling on top of the seats in front of her. Somehow, her date was nowhere to be found near her at that time.

During that beautiful pandemonium, the actress leveled her arms above her head in satisfaction as everything burned around her; now _that's_ a high-quality show! Everyone was now dead, the theater filled with the sweet stench of burnt humans and pungent regurgitated meals; Merry Fucking Christmas. The blond man got up from the floor, looking around frantically. «BABEH JESSUS! I… don't wanna pee my pants! OH MY GAWD! _I just DID!_ » he looked terrified as dribble flew from his mouth.

The cop woman already had her handgun aimed at the actress, more or less; she itched to point it to her right though….but mustn't. Still staring ahead towards the stage she said «Unless you want to die I suggest you get out of here. NOW! » she abruptly bumped into him with her right side; making him hit his head on the nearby seat before being knocked on the ground. It makes no difference since he doesn't have a brain to damage. The woman made her way around the chairs and into the isle, _now that's more like it, alright let's see if she can explain what the hell, hah pun, just happened._

Making her way towards the stage among bits and pieces of human-leftovers, she adjusted her equipment accordingly, threw away unwanted junk unto the nearby cadavers before choosing the proper gear from her previous Ex Game…..we authors love to break the fourth wall. Armed properly with her deadly gun and incomparable protective vest, she got up the stairs and fell because of her damn high-heels (or high-Hell), unglued her face from the sullied floor then went onto the stage.

The actress stared at her, «Take your time…»

Aya eyed her, «…You're hovering….above the floor. »

«Yes indeed, that is what hovering implies. »

«You made quite a mess, explain yourself! Oh and, freeze! »

«I call it art. If I freeze I won't be able to hover anymore which will upset me. You don't want that. »

«How do you manage to be singing right now while talking….? »

«After everything you've witnessed, _that's_ your question? I've got a couple of my own, like why in nucleus' fuck weren't you part of the fireworks? »

«You tell me. »

«I indeed will. » she cleared her throat and said with a more cryptic voice, «You will be awakening soon…. »

«…Mhk, what else? »

«Listen…. you cells are trying to communicate. », she lifted her arm over her head, «They're calling out…. » she remained that way.

Aya blinked, «…What are you doing? »

«Initiating Battle Mode. », on that a cool song was heard and the actress started to show her powers.

The cop dodged, «That is some serious attack on an officer of the law, now it's my turn! » she fired at the woman's face but it only made her laugh. «This extremely powerful gun should have obliterated your head. How did you survive that…? », suddenly Brea stopped aiming, «What's happening! My body…..it's getting hot….! Hotter than usual I mean. » then some magic orange crystals surrounded her with a magical sound, «Shit I hope I'm not turning into ''Sailor Moon'' or some crap like that else I'm definitely gonna shoot myself right here…. »

«Just as I thought; we're not stereotyped women, you're meant to be bad ass just like I. Although, technically I can't be called a human anymore…. »

«What is this? What did you DO TO ME?! »

«Damn, at least wait until I _really_ do something before panicking. Our bodies are communicating with each other…. Oh and by the way, I am a bad ass; you should have guessed that already. »

«Communicating what exactly? The hell do you want? Is it because I didn't pay attention when you sang? »

«You just got some awesome super powers, the least you could do is appreciate them. And the more you're going to use them, the more you'll become like me…..SO BAD ASS! »

«…Okay I admit, I always wanted to be like spider-man and superman….., but who are you…? »

«Not that it won't be some cliché…..I'm Eve. »

«… _The_ Eve…? The one in that shitty science fiction book they call The Bible? »

«…By no means, _no._ I'm just simply bad- »

«OK fuck sake, I get it! »

«In fact no, that's the problem, you _don't_ get it. I'm surprised you don't know me, Ava…..»

«It's 'Aya'. »

«That's what I said. You should know me well… »

«…Well, in case I sound stupid or redundant… _what?_ »

Next a very bright flashback occurs, so much the two needed to put sunglasses on but players actually bled. The very painful flashback included a little girl freezing on a hospital bed with some invisible dude playing a creepy tune on an invisible piano. The girl seemed to be unable to blink, which went well with the ominous background vibe. There was also a PS3 near to the oxygen tank but sadly the girl couldn't play because she is stuck in a shitty flashback; now that is extremely cruel.

I just had an emotion because of that. End of torturous white screen.

Aya robbed her eyes, severely poking herself with her gun consequently making it bleed. «What was that…? »

«You just stabbed yourself in the eye with your handgun, frankly that was quite unprofessional and stupid. »

«No, I mean the poor little girl freezing to death in that room. »

«….Whatever the fuck-cell-organelle do you mean? »

«….whut?...That girl! The hallucination you just showed me. » Eve simply grinned so Aya shouted « _You know what I mean!_ »

«Hahaha…. » on that Eve just flew to her right, straight into the fake column that broke in half consequently fell on the stage; not so bad ass, then she was gone.

«…..That was dumb too! Shit…..if only I could hover as well. And how the hell am I supposed to know what kind of power I've got? Where do I see that, how?! », she grabbed her stupid shoes and threw them away at the statue, «Fuck it I'll just go barefoot, the cold filthy and possibly-bacteria-filled floor can't be worse than what those malevolent apparatus are making me go through; why the fuck some women put up with this shit? »

The cop followed Eve backstage and soon realized that no matter which side of the burnt curtains she went behind, she'd still end up at the same spot. «….weirdest thing that happened tonight…. »

She now faced a big hole in the ground, looking down she felt a draft of decaying tissue, «That evil-yet-awesome actress is down there, I can smell her. » then with her unparalleled sense of hearing she was able to caught on some tires screeching on the asphalt outside, «Sounds like my backup's arrived, they missed all the fun. They better have brought something to eat; if it's for food, Eve can certainly wait. »

Before leaving she saw a box nearby and decided to look through it, she found a small plastic bottle labeled 'medicine 1'. «Who wasted so big a box for so small an item, and what the hell am I supposed to do with this, sniff it? » She threw the bottle away, «Not like I'm going to need it, my vest has more than the required strength to protect me, it's so superbly evil I barely need to level up and will beat this third Ex round in less than two hours. »

Making her way back along the isle she stumbled upon a wallet, searching through it she picked up the fifty dollars before discarding the object. In the hall there were two red corpses, she stared at them briefly wondering what human tastes like; now was the perfect time to find out since they were all cooked but Aya didn't particularly want to come out with her mouth and fingers all suspicious. So it was a completely unfazed woman that walked on crispy fingers and out the building.

When she exited two policemen opened fire at her, she would have required that ambulance if not for her outstanding protective gear. «Thanks guys, nice to see your judgment has _improved_ …. »

«Shite, sorry Bread. It's just that we're so on edge, didn't want to catch fire y'know? »

«It's 'Brea', and yes I-» she got shot again, « _Seriously?!_ »

«Crap my finger was still on the trigger! _Please don't kill me!_ »

«Wha-?... », she sighed, «It'd help if you stopped aiming at me so I can actually make a move. »

«No prob. »

«Yeh, we're pros….where's the safety switch already….? »

She ignored that and walked towards the paramedic, he looked at her wide-eyed asking «I wonder if it's that thing called…um…..spoon…..spoontaneous combusted? »

«It's 'spontaneous combustion', and no sadly it wasn't. Science weeps. »

«…pretty sure it's spoontaneous combusted though…. »

«Stop being so unscientific and move away from me, I don't need your useless assistance; why don't you help that poor valet instead, it may be quite unclear to the untrained eye but he's in mortal danger of hypothermia. » she turned towards the two officers. «Well why are you standing there for, aren't you supposed to be backup? »

The first cop answered «Huh? Hell nah, we were just called here but no way I'm gettin' in there! I fear for my body hair. »

They stared and she said «Fantastic, you'll have a brilliant career…. »

« I think so too! »

«…..as an imbecile. »

«….errr…. ya think we'll be on TV? I just laundered my suit yesterday. » He awkwardly rubbed his chest. « Speaking of clothes, why you wearin' a dress? I thought you said that if you wore women's clothes your flesh would melt off and your soul be taken by Satan. »

«Pretty sure it happened tonight. »

The second cop, who had been staring at the paramedic poking the valet suspiciously, suddenly flared back to life, «Hey, why don't you have any injuries? »

Brea ignored that, «Plenty of people suffered hell itself before dying but I don't care. Probably could have made it if only the paramedic wasn't busy being inept.»

«You're barefoot by the way. »

She frowned «Thanks, I hadn't notice from the cold and all. »

«Hey I've got the same gun! Got bullets for that if ya want. »

Aya sighed «First, you need glasses because we really don't have the same gun; that or a functional brain. Second, my special firearm can hold up to 127 ammunitions plus I've already got a crate filled with 999 bullets at the precinct. Lastly, why do you keep talking like a retard…? Plus am I to understand none of you morons brought any food? »

«…..err….. »

She thinned her eyes, «….you'll pay for that…. », before stepping back inside Canary-Energy Hall. While running back towards the hole she kept cursing to herself how she was surrounded by idiots, then looked down the black opening, «I hope I won't break a leg….because that would possibly hurt, I think. » she jumped in and landed on someone. «Why are you in the way?! », she realized it was a little girl, and that she might have killed the kid if not for her being wraithlike. «Hold on, you're that girl from the excruciating flashback, how did you get here? But more importantly, where's the PS3? …Don't tell me you left it behind all by itself? _What's wrong with you?!_ »

The transparent form giggled before running away, vanishing just like that. Aya stood there staring, «….damn brat, will probably die if she keeps wandering here…..not that it matters. Strange though…her pale sick face and dark eyes not blinking reminded me of someone….. well I hope I don't run into her again. Now I've got to find this pyromaniac woman, all I have to do is follow the mouth-watering scent of burnt flesh. »

She investigated the hallway but most doors were locked, however on the last one she tried, a muffled voice came from beyond, «Can't you see that it's locked?! Go away! I'm rehearsing! »

«NYPD police, open up! »

«I wouldn't even open if you were FBI! »

«Oh perhaps I should mention that everyone is dead? »

«Tsh, right….. go rehearse somewhere else! »

«Fine, die. » she turned around in time to see a cute little rat running her way, «Aww, I'm glad you didn't burn little one, go on and escape while you still can. I have your back. »

The rodent abruptly stopped now looking in pain, it also growled like a dinosaur. Aya blinked, «…was that your stomach…? »

Then the rat started to grow bigger as its organism shifted in many ways; skin was torn showing bones and tendons, fangs grew much longer, its tail split in three plus a strange liquid covered the floor.

«Is that, caramel…? »

It shrieked at her, its huge jaws opened and shaking its strange tail, a nice song was also triggered then. The unfazed spectator aimed at it, «Calm down, I'll give you some biscuits, just don't eat my arm. ». It shot three fireballs from its tail, she merely stood there as it did no damage, «Okay looks like we're about to have some fun together. »

The woman fired once and the rat exploded all over the corridor. Removing tissues from her face, she looked around at the remains, «Shame, I always wanted a pet… did Eve do that to that poor rodent? I mean, human is fine but cruelty towards animals? Now she'll pay…», then she patted her vest, «Good job by the way, Void. » and kept on investigating. Where in X-Mas' fuck the cop was able to conceal all her gear is no mystery at all.

She finally was able to enter one of the rooms, «Hello, are you dead? » There were two immobile bodies on the floor, Brea walked passed them to examine the lockers which all made a horrible noise when being opened, «Damn, maintenance have been slacking. »

A noise came from behind, it would seem that one of the corpses wasn't fully dead yet, «Uh…urgh….»

«Damn you survived that?! Too bad you probably won't live to tell how tough you are. And your gender is hard to tell seeing that you're so burnt and disfigured…. »

«….come….closer…..»

«…You want some peanuts? That's a very weird request…. » Aya obviously was faking since she's got super hearing skills as demonstrated earlier.

The person coughed and it seemed to hurt a lot, «…. _CLOSER_ …. _!_ », he/she had a violent spasm.

«It's not like you'll do something if I don't….but. » Brea went nearer, «I'd call the paramedic but he isn't going to be of any help so you'll have to suffer until you die, for real this time. Also, I was wondering if you have any food in here. »

«…you're….inhumane…. »

«Not at all, my name's Aya Br-»

«M-Melissa…. »

«…Are you deaf? »

«…you're a monster, just like her…. »

«I don't think you're in a position to start a fight so if I were you I wouldn't go there. »

«….it hurts…. _horribly_ ….. »

«I wasn't born with skills to sympathize, so you don't have to fake it. I could always tell you not to talk only to ask you another question right after, like in the game, but that would be too dumb. So instead I am going to just leave you here because I don't need whatever ''hints'' you think you can provide on this whole situation. »

The victim twitched, «She probably got to Suzanne too….you have to stop her…..»

«Stop Suzanne? But you just said she's dead, and in fact I think that's her dead body right there behind me. »

«...fuck, you... »The person wheezed, some liquid came out of the deformed mouth, then sighed way too long for someone who was dying, then died. Aya searched the cadaver in hopes to find roasted peanuts or something, but this person had really been of no help at all. «Some acting that was. », she straightened and kept searching the lockers. Aside from shitty outfits and a baseball bat with dried blood on it, she found nothing of interest. Brea harshly shut the locker door which bounced back open before being torn off its hinges, «Damn it! Is it too much to ask to find one goddamn bag of chips in this hell?! »

The woman entered another room and aimed at the monster that had been seating, the man dressed like a clown stood up scared shitless, « _AHHHH!_ Don't shoot! » then he threw his wig plus fake nose her way, «Here take everything! I swear they're not mine; I just found them there on the counter and decided to wear the costume! », he started to remove it with anxiety, «It has nothing to do with some weird fetish or anything! »

«Alright calm down Kefka! And put those buffoon pants back on, you made me nervous enough as it is. »

He appeared hesitant, «Youuu, sure you don't want me to strip? »

«Unnecessary. »

«K, your loss. »

Still she didn't lower her handgun, just in case he abruptly wants to chew on her face; we never know with these lunatics…. «I'm a police officer. Perhaps I should have said that first.»

«You're the one who scared me! I was just getting ready to steal all this stuff because I thought everyone was busy on stage. », then remembering he's talking to a cop, «Shit. »

«You mean you didn't hear people scream in pain nor noticed the strange aroma floating in the air? »

«You know, only STAFF are allowed in here…. »

«…K?...»

«At least _I'm_ aware I'm not one of them. »

«…Didn't you hear what I said…? Unless you want to burn alive atrociously before having you body gnawed at by evil mutated rats, I advise you evacuate; still, merely a suggestion….»

«You must be pulling my leg. »

«No. »

«You're KIDDING? »

«I really am not. »

«You're fucking with me….. »

«…»

«Awright, subtleties aside…., anyway I didn't plan on dying here tonight, so I'm going now even if this room is probably the safest place so far since I haven't died yet. » he ran passed her, «Call me… ;) »

She did consider it, he seemed nice, minus the act of thievery, but she always have had a soft spot for—an atrocious scream came from the corridor followed by some clownish giggles, then some more screaming which ended abruptly. Aya ran back outside and found his corpse at the end of the hallway; only the ginger wig was left intact in a corner where it looked suspicious. She laid one knee beside him but the pixels made it seem as though she touched his butt doing so. The fiery fumes stung her nose, he looked sad, and it wasn't just because of the ludicrous makeup. Something in his face implied regret…..like someone who indeed should have stayed where he'd been.

«Oh well. »

The heartless officer straightened and ran back to the remaining doors, when she entered she saw a corpse sprawled over a desk. «Excuse me-» the body fell backward, «…Sorry to interrupt but, are you dead? », Aya stared at it, then fumbled around in the crispy flesh, «I hope you don't mind me touching your burnt skin, it's for my investigation. », she got the theater's cremated key. «Hmm….we might have a killer here who locked the others in the nearby rooms….. or I just might be building some pretty stupid theory…»The woman spotted a telephone and thought it might be a good idea to notify the department about all this mess, if only she remembered what to dial…. «Dammit, those three numbers are always so hard to remember….! Fuck it, BakeHer doesn't need to know, doubt he'd understand anyway. »

The Chief of the NYPD was only good at one thing, and it was not his job.

She walked to the back of the room and found another box with nothing inside but some useless medicine; Brea looked to her left at the outfits and got the idea to change this uncomfortable dress for something else. She tossed some hangers aside but a parrot flew out repeating «They forced me! They made me ingest the key! », the bird then oddly just kept 'flying' on the same spot. Aya looked at it weird and ran off hurriedly; maybe it just wanted to be left alone in order to eat its owner. Better him than her.

Aya unlocked the first door to her right finding herself in a stylish room, «This must be the main lead's room. », she explored the closet, «…Doesn't explain why she's got ammo in her purse….along with kerosene in the back…. » Aya started sneezing; she spotted the flowers and started emptying her whole 127 bullets into it until nothing was left, «Allergies. » she then noticed some kind of book on the desk. «Might as well take my time reading this while potential survivors are awaiting my help. »

'' _November 3/ Mon / (Ugh, I always HATED having to fully write the day, takes such a long time I can't stand it.)_

 _The Christmas show is set, makes me upset though. This has been my unsatisfied dream for so long that I don't care about it anymore but I need the cash so I'll do it. After that I can buy myself that HD TV to play games. That's my new dream! While I waste energy on this useless diary, the main actress has a solo concert at the theater in Non-Central Park. I hope it rains dead animals that day. I took shitload of medications to get here. I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HAVE to get the lead part; else people will BURN. I need that money so bad I'll even sell my soul to Samael if I have to! Heard he's nice.''_

Aya glanced around, unsure, before turning the page.

'' _November 17 / Mon/_

 _The cast was announced, Suzanne and I are double cast. I mean, why was she picked she's deaf-mute….? ''_

Suddenly someone started playing the piano, the nosy reader looked around but couldn't pinpoint where the creepy tune came from. So she just resumed her reading.

'' _I want to play the part alone but everyone knows I can't sing for shit…..doesn't mean I have to stop breaking their balls though._

 _November 21 / Fri /_

 _Some people say I'm overdoing it, they know I can't sing. Point is Suzanne can't either but somehow they seem to like her more…. probably because she dyes her hair blonde. My body is getting hotter than ever for some fucked up reason. At first I thought it was because I abused spicy food too much but that's not it. I better take more medicine….if only I could recall where I hid them._

 _December 6 / Sat /_

 _I collapsed today. I wonder if it has to do with me taking too much medicine and falling down the stairs. One of my teeth seemed to have gone through my upper lip and I bled a lot, but, I don't care if I die from this extremely huge wound. I just want to get through this show so I can get paid. I swear once I get that long-awaited TV, I'm going to take it out for dinner._

 _December 10 / Wed /_

 _Crap, I somehow ran straight into a wall and passed out again…they told me to seek psychiatric help but they don't know what the hell they're talking about. Just because I see dead giraffes wanting to share cheeseburgers with me doesn't mean I'm mentally unstable. If I keep stumbling into walls Suzanne will definitely take my part. She's always been so good at what she can't do; so compared to me who actually can do it, that says a lot._

 _I better take way more medication tonight; maybe I'll pour an entire bottle into the blender along with yogurt and cigarettes._

 _December 11/ Th/_

 _Suzanne was burned in an apartment fire. I was told she'd been practicing the play while cooking bacon, when suddenly the meal backfired. That's why I'm vegetarian. Well I can't say that she had it coming considering I wanted the part so bad; but I can at least write it._

 _She asked for it, no one messes around with my DREAM of having a TV! Hers were NOTHING compared to mine. Besides, her sick baby brother did ask to have cancer when SHE tested me._

 _December 17/ Wed/_

 _Well it looks like I'll be the lead, unless someone who's actually competent barges in here suddenly. I'd better take more medication and work work WORK IT!...that seemed insane, though. But no one will know….._

 _December 23/ Tu/_

 _Opening night. Everything went smoothly. I'm this close from my egotistical dream, I can taste it; tastes like plastic, fiber wire, electronic parts, lead and LED._

 _Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we should have the biggest crowd in the season; oh HOW they're all going to BURN of excitement! Plus the solo concert next day at the park is also mine. But I'm not feeling too well…perhaps it has to do with the fact that I've taken my year-due medications in two months only. But that is just stupid thinking, I obviously haven't been taking enough; so I'd better take some more medication! It's the only logical action possible! TONIGHT IS PARTY NIGHT!''_

The piano stopped, Aya removed her hand from the last page as if in a trance, then she realized her eyes burned so much from lack of blinking. «Why in opera-damnation is she taking so much?! She's taken more drugs in two months than I did in seven years! », the cop grabbed the rehearse key from within the diary. «And where's that psycho woman? What is she doing while I wander aimlessly and shamefully search through rusty lockers that alarmingly contain nothing? I swear if I find out she's been sitting somewhere while having a nice warm meal, _pun_ , I'll go berserk. »

The blonde left for another room to unlock, where she found that parrot from earlier. «Apparently you can open doors…. and strangely your image isn't reflected in the mirror. »

It stared at her and followed with its eerie eyes as she searched the room for who knows what, doing so the woman found some useless breath mints and a moldy sandwich.

Aya approached the bird and it said «Merry! Merry fucking Christmas! »

«I abhor x-mas. »

«….DIE….! »

The parrot flew off and started to change just like the rat did, she aimed at it «Well, looks like being able to open doors isn't your only secret. »

The bird grabbed a chair with its now-abnormally long limb and threw it her way, she received it in the face and stumbled backward « _Hey!_ », Aya fired once and the parrot died, dropping a mutated cookie. Next she picked up the chair and rammed it on the cadaver repeatedly until it broke. «I should have killed you earlier, seeing you hover above ground endlessly should have hinted me that you were fucked up! »

The officer searched another room and found a box containing a sheet of paper; someone had drawn a shitty pistol on it and written 'offense +1' beside it. She picked it up, stared, frowned and glanced around then back at it. «…..what am I supposed to do with this, eat it?» Brea tossed it aside and it flew gently towards the wall, upon contact with the solid concrete however the material crumbled violently, revealing a hidden room beyond. Some dead guy was hung on the wall there for some reason; poor dude might have committed suicide after discovering so many useless items lying around, the fake pistol must've broken the last bit of sanity he had left then.

Aya decided it might be best to leave him in peace and left, locking the door on her way out. Just in case.

Using the backstage key and allows to find Eve playing the piano, Brea stared «So it was you playing those eerie tunes, nicely done, but now I'll have to ask you to step away from the dark musical device slowly and without further delay; also, try not to set the room aflame, things have been bad enough for insurances as it is. »

Eve ignored the cop so Aya stepped closer, now realizing something of paramount magnitude, «Hey this is the Main Theme song of this game, doesn't make sense that you'd know such a thing…..wait, how did _I_ knew that…? _What have you done to my brains with your evil mutated brainwaves?!_ »

«For the love of superior cell evolutions, keep quiet! You're ruining this PS1 masterpiece with your incessant worthless ramblings. »

Aya aimed, «I don't even listen to my own boss so why would you think I'd take orders from _you._ »

«Because I'll kill you if you don't. And because I'm…..I am...Melissa…. », the host seemed to be fighting for control over Eve, «NO! I am a _BAD ASS!_ Shut up like the puny human you are! »

«…not that it's especially weird just standing here watching two entities compete for control over the same organism; but I've got food waiting for me at my place, so if you could hurry this up. »

The actress resurfaced « _Aahhh…!_ , I'm getting HOT!... », then Eve again, «I kept playing the tune flawlessly while taking back control, how's that for skills? Shows you that nucleic domination has finally come to an end once and for all. »

«K?»

Then Eve furiously struck the piano's keys obliterating them, «It saddens me that your limited IQ isn't capable to understand the beauty of this song: now you'll die. », she lifted off the floor and some unknown appendage grew from under the dress, now poking out onward like a solid curled tail.

Aya kept her aim at the mutating being ascending, «…You better tell me what this is not what I think it is…. »

Eve's only answer was to emit maniacal laughter, before setting off the battle tune once more.

«…..Fine, I'll shoot at it no matter the lack of most-required explanation. »

Eve hovered above ground, «It's not what you think, I'd just rather use this to hover than make use of those useless human legs. Once again…. the day for the mitochondria to be free has finally arrived! This'll be the biggest party in history! », she pointed one enlarged blue hand at the blonde, «But _you_ didn't get any party invitation so I am in the obligation to terminate you. Not that it'll make the slightest difference in this overrated world. »

Brea shot at the blue appendage but it didn't fall off, «It's just like Osmund Saddler's, only less gross! »

Eve stopped moving, «Pff, looks like you still need some time, small-time hero…. I'll just let you live so your mitochondria become completely FREE! Then it'll be more of hassle to get rid of you, moreover the chances that you'll completely ruin my plans will grow as your powers mature, consequently my kind will have waited this long to control your specie for naught. My flawless logic and supreme tactical maneuvers scares even me… »

«I, um…», the screen became white, « _Oh no not_ \- _!_ », back in that hospital room with the girl on the stretcher, «…That kid again, is she somehow endowed with powers to teleport…? », a man with a white lab coat approached, «...that doctor….his greasy hair reminds me of someone… » when the flashback ends Aya is left rubbing her bleeding eyes before realizing Eve is gone. She wipes her stained hands on her dress, «Mitochondria to be free….?...does this mean it'll violently erupt from my skin pores like some abrupt painful mutation? I hope not….. else, it might hurt. I'm 27% positive of that…..»

The cop glanced in the direction of the piano noticing another hole in the ground, «If she keeps doing that the heat system will definitely have a hard time keeping this building warm. She's so evil…. » Aya looked down but couldn't gauge how far it stretched into the thick darkness, «….oh well, time to break my remaining functional leg it seems. » Brea ended in the sewers, apparently Eve wanted to bathe in icy filthy waters and be surrounded by the smell of human wastes. «Charming…..but still not the last place I'd want to be, it's better than being stuck with my boss. »

She looked ahead and saw this tall arch above two parallel set of stairs, someone had made a graffiti there which read ''Heavenly Gate'', even though there was no way to reach that part unless one was equipped with wings.

«Whoever did this is abnormally tall and has little taste in art. » Aya then heard someone crying and thought her comment had hurt the feelings of said ''artist'', which she did not care about. Besides there were more urgent matter to attend to, like the two mutated rats that had just pounced out of nowhere, along with the giant toad. Its overgrown tongue lashed about but missed as the woman rolled in the dirty water, she spat some liquid out while blinking fast, «Bad idea. » Not interested in making new friends she then shot them all to Hell in no time with her powerful gun. Then she got hinted at receiving the parasite Scan power, which is utterly devoid of any help and much more so for experienced players.

Brea just stared, «….the hell...? ... What was it that just appeared in front of my eyes….? »

The now-smelly blonde ran towards the arch as unspecified things flopped around her ankles, the sniffling became even more distinct and then she saw that transparent girl once more. «This is no place to be crying….among other things. I can see why you don't want to remain in that hospital but surely you could have decided to teleport somewhere nicer than here…? »

The mute appearance ran to her right and vanished again, «….what's her problem anyway? » Aya dismissed the encounter as being of no importance, she deemed more urgent to investigate the box that stood nearby. When she opened the lid a voice said, «Your inventory is full….. _of shit!_ »

The cop turned around «Who's there? » but no one seemed to be stupidly hiding in the shadows. Not one to be fazed by ghostly moronic voices or nauseating objects floating about, the woman decided to investigate the staircase. There she had to fight two additional rodents who tried to gnaw her head off or BBQ her alive, plus more boxes containing insignificant objects such as a broom and an XButt360. «Nice background vibe playing in the sewers though, makes it almost worthwhile having to spend some time here gathering disgusting residues in between my toes. »

She went back down and found a hidden room containing three boxes, the first was full of air, which is something one has little use for unless suffering from CO2 buildup. The second had a piece of paper with ''Range +2'' on it, Aya roughly threw it away but the sheet only made it as far as the amount of range indicated.

The last included a vest named ''Null Protector''. Taking a look at the stats on the vest's tag, Brea realized the name was more than fitting; therefore proceeded to magically remove the small points from it with her Super Tool Kit in order to augment her own indestructible vest. «There, not much but still better than nothing, wouldn't you agree VOID? », she looked around, «Still, who in the fuck put these here….? » Not a mystery with much appeal at being elucidated, the cop just left and finally went where the girl had run to.

There Aya came face to face with a gateway but not to worry, the switch was conveniently placed left of it, along with a phone….and someone dead floating next to that. She dismissed the cadaver as just another inconsequential substance drifting in soiled liquid and pulled the switch. As the gate opened she got assaulted by two toads which she shot effectively not even looking their way as she ran off. «Got no time to chat; wandering in sewers was never part of some unattained childhood dream. », then thinking about the girl, «Not for me anyway. »

Brea ran through the next small passage seeing that the charming lady in red was waiting in the back near a second gate. «Freeze! »

«Told you I can't do that while hovering, moreover asking such a thing to an all-powerful creature like me is a ludicrous request. »

The cop felt her body getting hot again, «Goddamn how am I supposed to concentrate while having these early menopause symptoms!? A least Melissa was fortunate to die young so she won't go through that shitty phase. »

Eve laughed, «That's the one right thing you said since we met. So….ready to take me on by yourself? Or you plan to flank me with your brown colleagues…? »

«Huh? You know Daniel? »

The unnatural being grinned so Aya suddenly made a face, «...you're referring to the feces aren't you…..that is just messed up, even for you. »

«Well even if you had more people with you _**they'd just BURN, right?!**_ », she laughed maniacally for a very long period of time whereas Brea just stood there watching. Then after one hundred years the cop coughed, «…Still here. »

Eve pointed her oversized finger at her, «Everyone else but you….YOU are destined to be part of this awesome adventure….that is until they make two other games and ruin everything. I really should burn them all as well to prevent such atrocities…. Paxton Fettel is also right, you ALL deserve to die. »

«Tell me Eve, why?! Why am I the only one?! »

«You're not, plenty of other ruined sequels out there, hell Silent Hill was put to shame after the three first classics. Damn, the shit they made…..and people actually bought that. »

«… _ **what**_ _in holy bacon are you talking about?!_ »

«…..You _really_ should take your medication; your outbursts of questions are getting quite irritating; even if you know what medicine did to Melissa… », she smirked.

«I don't need any goddamn placebo! All I want is to put bullets in your forehead. »

«No you won't. » on that Eve faced the bars and turned into an orange gooey substance allowing her to dematerialize passing through the metal structure and reconstruct on the other side. What do you know, Raziel isn't the only who can pull that trick. The unconcerned creature coolly glided off not looking back, showing her middle index at the cop.

Brea could have easily followed seeing she was so thin but decided it was about time she exited this stinking hell. She lowered her gun, «Fuck it. », and was about leaving when something else than feces moved in the water. A giant crocodile of sort emerged, electric sparks gathering at the tip of its mouth. Some out of nowhere voice indicated her that there was two targets, Aya frowned while aiming, «Shut it. » and got rid of the whole beast with one devastating bullet. Then she got informed that the parasite power Slow became available, as if this would change anything at all; along with the ''Worthless Vest'' she immediately Super Tooled Shazam Bam Nothing To It into her equipped vest.

Brea finally returned in the jolly icy winter outside where more useless morons awaited, for some reason the two clueless police officers and the medic were nowhere to be seen. She suspected they'd left to enjoy a hot cup of coffee in the Café nearby; the dead homeless man's body was still in the middle of the street though. Instead, a reporter and his cameraman where there to instill new bothersome feelings in her.

The reporter, who was wearing a very shitty coat that reminded her of some feces she'd seen down in the sewers, was talking into his bare hand as if it was a microphone; while the cameraman was busy filming the poor valet who still stood there frozen.

«We're live-» he suddenly giggled, «Haha, ''live'', do you get it? », then was back at being serious, «In front of Canary-Energy Hall which has become a scene of complete chaos!...from what I've heard anyway since we're not allowed to g inside by fear of dying an atrocious death by spoontanious comb-potion.

Brea approached, «Fuck's sakes, it's ''spontaneous combustion'' AND that's not what actually happened here; they were set on fire by a powerful being who sings opera very well. Although she's rather narcissist and…..well…..pretty. »

«Miss! You are the survivor of this whole very much fucking horrible ordeal, _CORRECT!?_ »

She received some saliva in her eyes but only stared in anger. The cameraman finally got tired of filming a clothed popsicle and approached her, the reporter resumed his annoying interview, «Until now, this combo-tion theory has been acknowledged only by occult enthusiasts…and some Satan cultists which no one gives a shit about. Oh and schizophrenic people somewhere. Probably at Mount Massive. »

«You shouldn't laugh about mental disorders….at least they appear to be smarter than you.»

He dismissed that, «This awesome incident happened on of Christmas Eve of all nights! That's like the _best_ Christmas present _ever_! »

Fuck he was annoying, and the woman would have pulled her gun on him if not for her partner showing up… «No Aya don't do this…. » and shooting him in the head himself. Empty cranium pieces flew everywhere; the cameraman didn't know what to do but the two NYPDs just started talking as if nothing had happened.

Brea finally wiped the saliva from her face, «Excessive use of Police force, good job Daniel. »

«Sorry I'm late, I was kind of busy sleeping seeing this crap occurred in the middle of the night…. »

«It's only 7PM. »

He ignored that and embarked in the police car, she blinked and followed. After driving for a while Daniel turned to her, «Say….what's that stench? Changed your perfume?...oh, and you OK? Maybe I should have asked that first…. »

«You know me, as tough as adamantium. I'm fine. », she just recalled something which made her laugh.

Her partner glanced at her, «Oh shit not again, don't tell me you're going crazy like last Christmas….. »

«You'd like that…no it's just that I remembered my date must still be there knocked unconscious among the cadavers. No doubt he'll be confused as hell once he comes to, _if_ he does! »

He remained quiet as she kept on laughing, his ass tight because he never really knew what to expect from her. Better not say anything, nor move or breathe.

«Anyway I went out with him because he kept harassing me to go, even dropped to his knees once and started crying; and it was very embarrassing because we were waiting in line at ShitDonald's. So it was either have him escort me to that opera nightmare or repeatedly bash his face on another customer's head, then go to prison for double murder. This whole shitty affair turned out alright in the end thanks to _her._ »

She seemed to return to her stoic self so Daniel replied, «Yeah but the OPERA of all places?! Usually you go spend the evening at the shooting range or play games by yourself while stuffing your face in pizza and such greasy shit that'll make you look like me very fucking soon. »

«…..saw the ad in the newspaper…..I dunno, caught my eye…probably because when I noticed the article I was face first on the floor since I had tripped over a banana peel some dumb ass had tossed in the apartment's stairs; having rolled down the steps I ended face to face with a bunch of wet and dirty papers another dumb ass had discarded there. I live in a world full of dumbasses…. »

He looked at her, «So you were _on_ this case, literally. Finally got some cop instinct in ya, huh.»

She turned her face towards the window, lost in her own thought. Nothing new there though. After a while a shoe hit the glass violently, «Killing civilians again, Daniel. »

Instead he turned the sirens on and went faster, didn't want anybody to write down the car's plate numbers and make a deposition against him. _Again._ While he raced towards the NYPD, Aya vaguely asked, «Shouldn't you be with your son? I mean you barely see him. »

«It's fine, he's still a newborn, won't miss me until he's a bit older. »

«…..Your son's seven now. See what I meant? »

He just changed the subject, «Anyway, not to change the subject but yeah, I heard things from people who were there…. »

«There was nobody there, Daniel, except burnt corpses. »

«….This is ONE HELL of an incident, huh?! »

«You're way too happy about murders for a sane cop like yourself. Besides, 'incident' is not fitting for that situation… »

«Then what would _you_ call it? »

«A big fucking happy bon fire. », then she started mumbling to herself which scared him, «….mitochondria…symbiosis…hospital beds with creepy tune…..fleshy rats and human dejections… », she then zoned out, her eyes becoming dryer as she stared vacantly.

Daniel glanced her way, «…You asleep? », then upon realizing her eyes were still open, «Hey you're not having one of those psychedelic silent moments, are ya?! », the woman didn't respond so he glanced on the back seat at his baseball bat, feeling relieved to know he could count on it if needed. Sometimes, she was just too weird.

He killed another civilian by mistake before entering the station, failing to break in time hence destroyed both the car and the brick wall. His partner didn't react to any of it so when he exited the wreckage and bust open her door, seeing that dribble pearled down her chin he had to slap her into sense for her to come to.

«…..sorry, I was thinking about something….. » she exited and stepped on broken glass which dug in her bare feet.

«Must have been some intense mathematics for you to look knocked out like that. »

Then the camera cut to an overview of the pixel New Yerk City as a ghostly Eve sang the game theme. Some unemployed dude in a helicopter was flying around the whole island, obviously wasting fuel for absolutely no other reason. Brea's thoughts appeared floating over the bridge for everyone to see; apparently she had unlocked telepathic capabilities as well.

«It all started with that joyful bon fire, six days that were to become a serious big ass party for all….. »

We revolve around a boat that seems not to be floating on darkened blue water but ice since it's so damn reflective and solid-looking.

«People will eventually forget and go on with their lives….the ones that survived, that is. »

Floats over a second bridge with way too many lights on it, that ought to be bad for electric bills.

«But I'll never forget it….just like Leon S. Kennedy never will. And even though it just happened an hour ago I'm talking about it as if it occurred last week….that or I have superpowers to bend time also. Anyway, it was pure ecstasy…. »

Camera shows that fuel-wasting helicopter revolving around the Statue of Liberty, time and again as if the pilot was having a seizure.

«….but the worse is it was also six days filled with familiar memories that I would have rather not recalled because they freak me out. Like that time on Christmas I had received a shitty pink pajama with cats on it….. the atrocious thing actually made my eyes bleed plus I puked all over it….. My mother blamed it on Santa of course, but I knew better. »

Screen faints black and the song fades out slowly. That's some peculiar powers.

* * *

 _Author Note:_ if you're interested into parody/humor videos on Parasite Eve (plus other games or music video tributes), I have it on my YT channel. Since Fan Fiction doesn't allow copying of links, just type the following in your browser:

SURPRISE – Parasite Eve (Humor, part 1 of 6)

You'll find it under the username De Void.


	2. Day 2- CONFUSION

**Day 2 – CONFUSION**

 _(FUSION)_

Inside NYPD, main office; officer Aya Brea and her partner Daniel LayEasy are about discussing boring things with two other team members. One almost completely bald called Nix said, «Well if it isn't the 'daughter and father' team; how was the barbecue? »

Brea looked his way, «Seriously though, we're not that close, actually we get on each other's nerves a lot; moreover we don't have the same skin color so it's pretty dumb calling us that because it's not even logical. »

Nix seemed confused and replied, «…..Well, it's only a metaphor, you _do_ understand that, don't you…? »

«I didn't ask for your input. », she turned to her partner «How's the Danish, Danis—uh I mean, Daniel? »

The black man turned her way, trying not to die from lack of oxygen as he struggled to masticate the ten pastries he'd shoved in his mouth. Aya stared then made a face before turning to her desk, pretending to be looking for something. The three other cops remained silent while listening to the awkward uncomfortable noises of the fourth, until there was a big sound as the food descended in his esophagus then he said, «I've been gathering some info on Melissa, went to her place, broke the door down and fumbled through her personal belongings. Made one hell of a mess but figured she's got no relatives…or any friends. Having read that diary you've stolen from her lounge, I can see why. Seriously though why in deliciously-edible Danish was she taking so much medication?! The people of the opera all said, well that one guy who actually managed to escape naked as his clothes had burn, mentioned that he was amazed she could even stand on stage.»

«If _that_ amazed them they should have seen her float….. »

Daniel looked at her weird so she dismissed her reply with a whoosh of her hand, so Nix asked, «So what's this spoofasious comb-bust-eon stuff all about? »

Brea suddenly picked her keyboard and smashed it on her desk violently, the keys exploded in her face and then she yelled, «GODDAMN IT, why are you all so fucking retarded?! It's SPONTANOUS COMBUSTION and not some other thousand moronic complementary words you can come up with! » foam had built at the corner of her mouth as she breathed heavily, fists clenched.

Nix stared, «K. »

She brusquely grabbed her mug and drank its content then seemed to calm down, Daniel said, «How do you always manage to drink that awful coffee? It makes me wanna vomit every single time. »

«It's not coffee. Now listen, people were actually set on fire, get it? Do you need me to draw it for you? Do I have to sex Nix aflame for you to get the picture? »

Nix replied, «No, we're cool. »

Warner, who had remained quiet until now mostly because he was traumatized, asked, «Oh come on! Whut, like one of those PMS things? »

Brea stared at the red-haired moron, «I think what you mean is ESP….. »

Warner replied, «Well I'm not buyin' it. »

She half-rolled her eyes, «It's not for sale. »

Warner looked around while Nix said, «But if it's not spo-, if you're right, how are WE supposed to deal with something like that without burning our hair? »

Daniel glanced at him, «That'll be the least of your concern if you start burning. », he turned to her, «If you're going to take on a suspect like that you better ask Bake-Her for a better sidearm. »

«Don't worry about that, I've got the best partner right here in my coat pocket. It's able to kick all asses out there. »

«…you keep your firearm in your pocket…? », his face was weird.

She returned the expression, «What? Where do you keep yours…? »

«Well in my—never mind that, just go make your report to the boss. »

Brea stared at him then kept doing so as she walked towards Bake-Her's office. She then opened the door slightly, stepped in momentarily only to step back out with her eyes still locked unto her partner….then she finally got in closing the door. Daniel mumbled under his breath, «….shit, almost let it slip… », when his breath stuck as Brea spread the plastic curtains aside with two fingers, her eyes only visible through the crack. They stared, after seven seconds she disappeared for good. The black man relaxed his rear muscles, sighing, then realizing the two other men were still staring at him.

The fat man seated at his desk stared at the weird woman in wondering, for some seconds all he heard was his own troubled breathing as his organism tried to deal with all the excess of weight, then he eventually asked «…what are you doing…..? »

His subordinate turned around, «Just making sure nothing was coming out of his ass, sir. »

«…whose ass? Wait, never mind. », he scratched his big nose, «I read your report…still hard to believe….. »

«I know what I saw. »

«No I'm referring to all the grammatical errors and cursing in it, for Santa's sake officer Brea, would it kill you to be a bit more professional? »

«Oh because the morons who came as back up _are_ pros perhaps? And the medic who left that poor guy to die on the sidewalk, not to mention the bloody remains of that itinerant scattered all over the road? Then Daniel murdered a reporter, _that's_ professional?! »

He arched a brow, «Stop overacting. »

She brusquely aimed at the wall and fired, «THAT is overacting, and you haven't seen me when I'm really pissed off yet. »

Bake-Her lifted both hands, «My bad. By the way, are all the gory details in your report true? I mean, nothing was exaggerated? Else you might consider writing horror books because this seventy-seven pages of a report traumatized me. I had to turn the lights on to make sure nothing was about to tear my insides out violently, plus I'll never look at my own feces the same way….not that, I did stare at them that much to begin with. »

Aya stared. He coughed, « And about the entire little-girl-hallucinations, I'd advise you to lay off the bacon. »

«…..I'm afraid I don't understand. »

«Well eating too much fatty foods can make your mind go crazy, because when you miss it you go nuts; everything can happen then. Believe me….I know. That food store clerk will forever be disturbed… »

«…..I don't eat bacon sir. »

He wiped a tear, «Well all of it is hard to believe but we can't deny all those deaths. Since we're going to go all crazy on this case, literally, make sure you're well equipped. Go down to the weapons department and give this permit to Torres. He'll help you out. »

Chief handed the modification permit but she started to unload her pockets on his desk, the woman left him with tons of medicine and vests devoid of any stats, then left without even taking the permit.

When Aya came out of the bureau smelling like onion rings, she realized that a nice music was playing throughout the whole station. Nix had his back turned at her so she noticed that his white shirt seemed to contain many little holes for some reason, as if he got attacked by termites and didn't get paid enough to buy new clothes. She said out loud, «And _that's_ professional I assume? »

The man turned to her and repeated the same sentence he'd said earlier. That made her sympathize with Jill Valentine because of a certain senile Barry Burton, then she pulled the door almost tearing it off its hinges. In the corridor there was this cop woman staring at the wall, Aya halted and glanced at the wall then at the woman, before leaving her to whatever she was doing. Entering the locker room she saw two cops, one was seated and seemed to be unable to button his coat because he'll be there for hours on end.

When he noticed her he mumbled, «You better bring your toothbrush with you. Can't be too careful…»

She looked at her left and saw the other man searching for something in his locker, when Brea got closer she heard him whisper, «Hehehe….at last, it's mine! » The woman might have asked if he was alright but the crazy stare in his eyes advised otherwise. Aya then just decided to violate her teammate's intimacy by breaking in their lockers and stealing stuff.

The blonde left one item there however, one name ''Cure-P'', which she thought stood for ''Cure-Penis''. Brea exited wondering why it was that every time she came back to take a piss, that guy would always be in the process of opening his damn locker; must be why his locker door kept making that horrible rusty sound. «It's like I'm the only one actually doing my job in this place. »

She walked towards the staring woman, eyed her for a second then poked her in the ribs... then elbow-cracked her skull open. Still Cathy did not respond, perhaps she was reminiscing about the tasks she actually needed to perform today. Brea turned around to descend the stairs and that's when the other came back from Fucked-Up Land, asking «Did you hit your head last night? The magic tea room is right downstairs. »

Aya frowned, «…The fuck? »

«They have lots of cookies. And guns. »

«…..I didn't hit my head, yet, but maybe I can give you a forehead bash with mine in order to bring you back into reality… »

«Always so aggressive; you definitely need therapy. »

«Apply your own advice. » Brea turned around and went downstairs, when she entered the room she opened the boxes lying around. Obtaining a Tool the blonde turned to the young man behind the counter, «Hey Wayne look at that, I just found your brother. »

He laid both palms flat on the desk, smiling «Nice one. Soooo, extra-good-lookin'-tough-ladeh…», then he changed his voice, «What are you buyin'? » He received the Tool in the face, « _OW!_ »

«You know that merchant voice creeps me out. Is Torres stuck in the bathroom again? I told him to stop taking dairy since he must be lactose intolerant. The extra loud cramps he gets aren't normal, especially that Apocalyptical odor…. »

Wayne whipped blood from his lower lip, «More like intolerant, period. So what will it be…. Shotgun? Rocket Launcher, Mine Thrower, Flamethrower, Double-barrel Bazooka; the Nemesis himself? »

Suddenly Torres comes out running out of the bathroom screaming Wayne's name, making the young man shit his own pants; as the musical sound of a toilet flushing is heard in the background, Torres stops near them bearing an angry expression. «Idiots like you are the reason why guns and donuts won't disappear from this country! Get your firm young ass back to weapons storage! You're far from being ready to be handling guns in here, let alone acting so smug while flirting with officer Brioche who's really hot! »

The brunette's cheeks flushed red, «Sheesh—I mean _fuck alright…!_ » he walked to the only means of exit; a sole plank of wood protecting all the important tools and gun parts from trigger-happy individuals like Wayne. Super flawless and unconquerable security system. Torres took his sweet time into walking through that, next he brought the wooden counter back down just as slowly, then revolved around himself like moronic NPCs does. «Yeah? »

«Actually I don't need anything. »

«…But I heard about the unnatural crook you have to deal with. Hold on…», he bent and fumbled through a lot of objects, one made a squeaky sound, then he straightened handing her something, «Here, this is the most powerful weapon I can allow you to have. »

«…..This is a crowbar. »

«Yeah I know. With this you'll be a Super Cop! »

«Got nothing against crowbars but even my Club5 has better stats than this. »

Something sad shun in Torres' eye, «K. », and he put it away.

«Anyway each slots are full on both my kick ass gun and supernatural vest; but if I give you all the useless mod permits and trading card I've stashed, adding to that the Super Tool Kit Wayne gave me in his prior existence in Ex Round 2; would you be kind enough not to be such an ass and provide me with more slots? »

«…. No. »

«But I thought you were in charge of this department because you have skills? »

« There are some limits to even what I can do. I'm not Dumbledore. Or Lara Croft. Or-»

«I'll remember that refusal to help an officer in need. »

She turned to leave when Wayne gestured her, «Psst, don't tell Torres but his farts really stinks. »

Torres frowned, «I fucking heard that. »

Wayne turned his back at him as if that would help, although not lowering his voice, then continued, «You can rearrange equipment parameters added effects to tweak your equipment. You can even add some natural flavor to them like black cherry. Just don't tweak anyone's nipples though, heard some dumb ass wanted a certain Pointman to do that to another certain telepathic master psychopath thirsty for blood….must not have ended well. Anyway trust me; you can never have too much firepower….especially when you're being hunted down by a large-smiled genetically enhanced power-engineered killing machine solely programmed to decapitate you and armed with tentacles plus a bazooka. »

Brea sized him up, «….OK? »

«Been playing a certain game too much. Now, why don't you leave the stuff you don't need with me?»

«Already unloaded all my junk onto Bake-Her's desk. »

«…I'm sure he liked that. Oh by the way, if you come across any real junk you bring 'em to me alright? I'm building a giant gun and need spare parts to melt…..»

«Already did, how do you suppose I got this gun I tweaked so much? », and she left.

«…..uh, wha-? »

The woman then visited the dog's pen, «Well hello doggies, looking forward to your mutation! »

The officer on duty eyed her suspiciously, «…Drank too much coffee today? »

Brea stared as the dogs kept turning around awkwardly, «Did you forget to feed them or something? »

«Wish I could give her a nice Christmas dinner…. »

«Who, your wife? »

«No, we did that last night; dressed in leather, whip and everything. NO I meant Sheeva, wish you could have brought some crispy meat back for her. That's not too much to ask is it?! You're heartless. »

«I know; I'm me. But you really think those dogs can't jump over that ridiculously-low fence? You better feed them because once they do they'll eat _your_ fresh meat. », she left him like that as she glanced fearfully over the canines.

«…you're never going to hurt me, are you Sheeva? »

The dog stared then barked. The answer was unclear.

Brea went back to the first floor, glancing left she saw a little boy who seemed to be looking for ghosts or something as he stayed put while glancing around. Aya approached him carefully with a hand on her club, we never know with kids…. «…Are you retarded? »

The boy stared up at her, «…..ahh…. »

Then Daniel's voice came rumbling through the corridor, «Ben!? »

«Daddee, the lady is mean. »

Brea looked at her partner, highly horrified, «…. **Oh no**... you reproduced. My condolences. Hold on, he's not even black…. »

Daniel frowned at her then bent a knee to his son, looking quite perplexed, «Holy shi—I mean, you grew up so fast! But why are you wearing shorts in winter!? Plus what are you doing here? »

Ben reached in his back pocket, «Here... » handing his father a piece of moldy bread with already-licked candies stuck to it.

Daniel straightened now angry, «Damn it I told you to stop doing that, it's gross! »

His kid got mad too, «…..FINE! » and left running, but with his short legs it took the boy a while before he reached the front doors; so during that time both adults stared as the little kid tried his best to leave as soon as possible to augment the drama.

Daniel moped, which made him even uglier than he already was, «Guess every kid needs their mother…. »

«That's not true! I was raised by my father too, after he killed my mother. I'll always be grateful to him…. wait. Let me rephrase that, 'that's half true'. »

«Um….well, _HIS mother's still alive…..!_ », his fists were shaking.

«….That sounded really homicidal, Daniel….. »

She watched as her partner left, and then she suddenly wondered…why in the fuck he wore such a shitty looking tuxedo, plus it just _had_ to be brown of course. So many things reminded her of that blasted trip in the sewers. Having zoned out Aya later realized that Cathy was standing near the door once more, now staring at the floor absentmindedly. Brea ran to her and backhand slapped the woman, «Get a grip! »

The officer was terrified and said with a trembling voice, «Daniel divorced his wife last year!»

«…...So what? »

«This was before you were assigned here. He kept saying ev-»

Brea turned towards the office door saying «I'm sorry I think you mistook me for someone who gives a shit. » and disappeared.

When the blonde entered the office she noticed that no one had moved ever since she had left, «…..You're all still just standing there, what are you doing?! »

Nobody heard that, it's as if she was stuck in another dimension. Bit worried, she went to see Bake-Her but regretted it immediately when the draft of food mixed with an abnormal amount of CO2 assaulted her nose.

«Ah I see Cathy delivered my message. »

Brea remained mute.

«We're having a press conference now, and I-»

«No we're not we're in your bureau talking. »

«…..and I want you there too. You'll be on national television as the sole survivor of that dreadful, sickening and brutal incident. »

«It really wasn't that bad. »

«I'd really like to avoid this sort of unorthodox view of yours, so you'll only answer when I ask you. The media is just looking for anything to grill us about. »

«''Grill'', sir? »

«Geez Brea I didn't mean it like that, you and your sick mind. Those buffoons may even turn you into a suspect because they're hungry jackals who have nothing better to do than spew lies, and because we all know it turns them on! Just when that time they said I'd been caught shop lifting tons of meat, _those fuckin'-!_ », his porky face turned red, then he inhaled deeply, «So you let me do the talking. Understood? »

«Don't really have a goddamn choice, do I. »

«No you don't. »

«It was a rhetoric question. »

«…Stop doing that thing which proves you're smarter than I am. Now let's go meet the press.»

«Yes let's pretend nothing happened, like fucking usual. »

* * *

A reporter asks, «So you are saying this could be the work of terrorists? Are you sure it's not some alien species trying to communicate? I'll admit that was kinda harsh but-»

Bake-Her bent over the podium, grabbing the microphone as if he was about sucking on a metal dick; that made some people snicker, others scowled.

«Terrorists are the ones who always wrong this beautiful city, so yes that is what I, um…», he looked down on his sheet for the proper words, «What we _currently speculate._ »

Another reporter counter attacked, «What about accounts of officers and firemen at the scene bursting into flames? That was more than some pretty fireworks. »

Aya started to say «Pretty is not a strong enough word-» when she was cut short by her boss, «That was due to a rare flammable chemical which was used to start the fire. And not some voodoo stuff, I know what I'm talking about. Obviously. »

The reporter raised his voice, «Then how did Detective Bra survive without so much as a minor burn? »

The woman glared, «It's ' _Brea'_! »

«That is a result of her quick thinking and training as an expert killer— _as an officer!_ »

The reporter complained, «I'm asking HER the question, fatty! »

Bake-Her's face turned red with anger but Brea tossed him aside brutally so much the captain stumbled off the podium breaking his ankle, «Enough of this shit! That powerful mutated being savagely killed everyone and was clearly enjoying it, then she said that my mitochondria were a mutation; after that we battled with our parasite powers while some cool tune played. »

The woman was assaulted by camera flashes plus someone threw her a 100 dollar bill, «There, tell me EVERYTHING! This is so gonna be a turn in my career. So, your….mito- _what?_ Who said this? »

«The opera singer called Melissa who'd just turned into this Eve, an evolution of her former self but not quite human knowing the cell organelle inside the actress are the ones who took control. »

More flashes, «But according to a report, Melissa Piss was killed in a fire when she tried to make pop-corn via toaster fumes! »

«Aren't you morons listening?! She did die and got taken over by this Eve. »

Someone broke her pen in two from jubilation, «OMG it's like I said earlier, this Eve is some kind of alien! », more flashes as a guy suddenly creamed his pants.

Bake-Her got up and had clearly pissed himself judging by the wet spot at his feet, «People please! She is obviously very tired of drinking our bad coffee plus we're still investigating. »

«That's another convenient lie, I'm a super cop I don't need to eat or sleep. »

The captain glared, «This total fiasco ends here, exit this room and stop blinding me with your flashes! », ensued by more flashes as he slipped in his urine.

* * *

Now Aya, Bake-Her, Daniel and Nix were in the chief's office. The fat man moved to his chair and sat down which made a wet sound, «I thought I had been clear as to you having to remain docile and silent but you did not! »

«I know. I was there. By the way you should consider an underwear change; not because of your own comfort but since it's actually assaulting my nose. »

«That is NOT the point!», he hit his desk trying to ram the point home but only managed to break his pinky.

«Am I supposed to be intimidated, I haven't checked. »

«Damn it, telling the truth always brings more shit to us, you'll cause the stupid populace to panic! »

«Which is always fun because they're interesting to watch when they lose it like that. »

Captain was about ramming his other fist down when the phone rang, saving his remaining pinky from obliteration. He seemed to pick up the receiver but the pixel object inexplicably remained on the desk, «….What? No, for the hundredth time, this is _not_ the Fabio Saucy Restaurant! Now if you call again I WILL have you arrested! », and rammed the receiver down, now managing to break his thumb.

Aya eyed him with disgust, «Probably should have done that the third time the idiot called. »

«I did NOT ask for your clearly more logical opinion, Brea! », on that the phone rang again, he picked up «WHAT!? ….. who? Well what does he want? Well put him on! You wanna meet? Look pal I don't do blind dates, especially not with Asian men. What? Oh…. k. », he hung up. «Some Japanese scientist dude, couldn't understand a word he said because he's one of those stereotyped Asian type. I did make out a mito-something, says he's coming over here. Hide the donuts.»

Daniel rubbed his belly, «Already took care of that this morning. »

Aya sighed, «So he's coming to investigate on the mitochondria, that's good news I won't be the only one knowing what the hell I'm talking about anymore. »

Nix looked at her, «You mean that thing in the cell that makes energy from oxygen? »

Brea glared at him, «Hey where did you learn that from? You never were the bright one… wait you've poked around my desk didn't you!? », she fisted his collar. «You better not have touched a certain book entitled 'Desperate Measures to Desperate Situations.' »

«Please don't hurt me, my hairline constantly recedes so have at least some mercy for that!»

Daniel ignored them, «Might have heard that from school….. if I had gone to one. »

Aya informed them, «Eve said that it's time for the mitochondria to be set free, that'll be one hell of a party that's for sure. No one would want to miss that. »

Nix interrupted, «I was taking a shit this morning. »

Everyone stared, until Aya finally released him only to pick up her handgun and put it under his jaw, «And? »

«Well I read that some researcher at the museum wrote a new theory on them. »

Daniel walked closer to Bake-Her for some reason as if this was important, «I'm taking this crazy woman to the museum. »

The Chief sized him but still responded, «OK, investigate. »

Daniel frowned, «What do you mean? »

Captain frowned, «…what do _you_ mean? You're going to the museum to investigate, no?»

«Ah, ehh, yeah, yeah of course. Totally weren't just going there for the museum itself, absolutely not slacking on the job. », he left the office. Aya eventually let go of her target and did the same.

Nix stared as she exited, «...I'd so let her fuck me. »

* * *

Daniel was about crossing the main hall door, «I'll bring the car around, meet me at the front. »

«Why don't you ever let me drive? »

«Because you always kill pedestrians on the sidewalk. »

«So do you! »

«Yeah but I'm a man so people forgives me for it, makes me look manly. »

«Then I got a better idea, how about you stay here and I go alone. », she brusquely opened the door which slammed in the man's face breaking his nose, and off she was. Not like he ever provided backup and not like she ever needed reinforcements anyway. On her way out she meet that officer who's always typing something on that computer, he never greets anyone nor moves away. Aya suspected that he faked filling files while writing stories but still getting paid as a cop. Not like it was a crime, at least he didn't bother her.

Brea exited into the parking lot and ran to the car, sat on the driver's seat and ignited the engine, but when she started driving she was magically moved onto the passenger's side. «Hey! Wha-»

Daniel had popped up at the wheel, «Special security device; makes sure I'm the only one who can drive this car. »

«Doesn't even make sense! »

«I know, doesn't have to since I'm male. »

«Ah shut up and drive. At least now I can eat this delicious pizza I brought along. », she removed a large piece from her jacket pocket and shoved it inside her mouth.

«Not even going to share? »

«Drivers don't eat. »

A tear gathered at the corner of his eye but he changed subject, «Heard this Dr. Cramp is pretty anti-social and doesn't like to waste time outside research. Not my kinda guy. »

«My kind of guy, drive. »

«Look, just don't do what you did at the press conference. »

«Your problem not mine, I'm not the one who's sucking on the chief's genitals. »

They hit a pedestrian as Daniel jerked the wheel, «I DON'T SUCK HIS-, fuck sake, almost killed two civilians because of the gross mental image you gave me. »

«You did kill two, you just didn't feel the body as it collided with my side of the car. I on the other hand clearly saw his face then; those times I wish I brought my camera along. »

After that they remained silent for the rest of the ride, which was about seven seconds before the car stopped in front of the museum. Aya got out and noticed a Chocobo was on the front banner, she then wondered if their eggs would make nice omelets. They went up the 777 stairs leading to the entrance, Daniel slipped a few times and had to restart; then they were greeted by one decrepit old man. Brea offered him ten dollars which granted her with a scowl, she then frowned and removed the bill, «Fine then if you'd rather be impolite and starve to death today in this cold. »

The black man was more used to these goddamn annoying social rituals so he said, «We're NYPD, here to see Dr. Cramp. »

«Yeh he's in his office, did he do something again? »

«No, just need to see him. Wait, what, 'again'? What did he do? »

The security guard ignored that and unlocked the door thus allowed them entry despite the chilly woman. What was suspicious about him though is that he seemed to drag around some sort of stick ending with a tennis ball, or a lemon, for some reason. Daniel rushed inside because he had been freezing cold, since similar to his son, he thinks it's a good idea to just go out without proper garments. He then looked the place over, «It's been a while since- »

Brea walked past him, «I care. Let's get to work. », she had noticed the other banner indicating the dinosaur exhibit and couldn't wait to see them, right after she'd dump Daniel somewhere.

«Place is pretty creepy without any people…. »

Aya, «Hard to believe you made it into the force…. »

The security guard motioned, «You'll find him in the research lab on-»

«It's fine I already know the way. Played this game before. »

The guard shoots her a questioning expression which she dismissed once more; he then unlocked the gate leading to the 2nd floor making an awful rusty sound before it broke off its hinges, falling unto the guard's toes. None of the officers thought to provide assistance, Daniel went upstairs while Aya eyed the notebook resting on the front desk. She picked up a ball pen and scribbled ''This place needs some maintenance and a new security guard, this one might just die on duty of old age; then he'll truly be part of this museum.'', before running up the stairs. Damn it she really wanted to explore this place but would have to settle to visit one room only.

Daniel motioned to her towards a door, «Hey it's open, let's check it out. »

She sighed once it revealed being a closet holding cleaning tools, before walking towards the actual lab. That's when they met Dr. Cramp who would type at his computer for years while dismissing their presence. Since Aya hadn't come here to be ignored in such a fashion that made her want to bash the scientist's head right through the screen, she gave him a mild push on the shoulder which toppled his chair consequently making his cranium collide with a microscope.

«Let's cut to the chase, I'm not very social either so tell me what the hell is up with me and my mitochondria then these two cops will be on their way to eat ShitDonalds. Oh and did I mention we're cops? Yeah, so hurry up with the explanations. »

The scientist straightened himself, «Well that's not an introduction you hear every day. », he replaced the greasy fur atop his head that was supposed to mimic hair, «So, what are you accusing me of? »

«I can tell this isn't your first time, but-. », Brea stopped when the scientist nearly broke his own neck by suddenly intensely focusing his attention on her. He stared and she gradually arched one brow, «….what's your problem? » then white screen, «Shit _not AGAI_ \- »

A man in white lab coat stands over a little blonde girl who lay on an hospital stretcher, she thought, …. _this white coat, the greasy hair, this long pointy nose….. the same shoes and gray pants, watch on same wrist and everything perfectly identical….. I know him… I think._

White screen recedes, Aya's grabbing her face, «Goddamn my _eyes!_ »

Daniel looked at her, «Want some coffee? Peppermints? », he got out from his mouth offering it to her.

Cramp's eyes were bleeding when he finally decided to grab a tissue and blink the crap away, «Hmpf, looks like my flashbacks still needs work. That was abnormally too bright for the retinas. », he tossed the stained Kleenex over his shoulder, making it land on Daniel's shitty clothing. «So, why are you interested in MY work? »

Aya, «I told you already. »

«Yes but I attributed your words to some article you might have read rather than your own mental abilities. »

«That woman I met mentioned that the mitochondria would be set FREE, she really put emphasis on that word, saliva propelling forward and all. »

Daniel continued, «The suspect ignited people without laying a finger on them. Then it transformed into some kind of creature and ran off. »

Aya eyed her partner, «How do _you_ know about that…? »

Cramp turned his chair to finally face them, «Hahaha! You have absolutely NO idea what the true mitochondria is like…. DO YOU!? », they both received spit in their faces, «The mitochondria possesses its own unique genetic code. »

«You're saying it's a separate organism. »

He stared at her, «Hmm, not as dumb as you look for a blonde. »

«Pulease, dumbass. Spare me the stereotype views and spit all the goodies out, figuratively speaking. »

Daniel crossed arms over his belly, well at lest he tried, «So it's a parasite. »

Cramp, «PARASITE!? You have a death wish or something? That is a most stupid and grotesque way of describing this most fascinating creature that is very soon to rule over humankind! We cannot LIVE without the mitochondria…! Do you understand…!? The mitochondria creates energy for us! Without it, we're NOTHING! WE are HERE because the mitochondria ALLOWS us to be here… »

Aya picked up her buffed Club5, «Okay calm down a tad else I might be obligated to hit you over the head, tie you up to a chair and then throw you through a window. »

«Our brain, for example…the brain functions due to the interaction between axons and dendrites. This interaction is possible due to the energy the mitochondria provides. Did you know the mitochondria is capable of discharging 200,000 V of electricity? This not only pertains to electrical discharge, but also applies to heat energy as well. »

The woman snapped her fingers, «Bingo. Easy, even Daniel can understand that. », she looked his way, he appeared vacant, «Nevermind, _that_ , err him. So that explains how she did it. »

«…..for a human to burn and melt, 1600 degrees of heat must be generated. There are several hundred mitochondria present within a single cell…if all the mitochondria in the body began functioning at the same time….a tremendous amount of energy would be generated and released. Melting a human into a puddle of fluid would b a simple task with so much energy… »

«Well you sure say the M word a lot, is it some kind of fetish? Don't answer that. Anyway, I want that power. »

Daniel snapped back into reality, «Big deal, so basically we're usin' 'em for energy…. right…?

«Haha… you have NO idea. », the scientist got hit over the head by a Club5, «The mitochondria has control over an organism's growth. Take this hand, for example. Before we're born, the hand is merely a glob of flesh. »

Brea side-glanced to someone, «Some barely evolves beyond that…. »

«But when cells between the fingers deteriorate, that's when the fingers first form. When the cells which make up the body aren't needed anymore, it receives a signal to die. This signal is initiated by the mitochondria. When it is relayed, the genetic information in the nucleus is cut off and in essence, dies. The same can be said for ''aging''. The mitochondria mutates 10 times faster than cells. Of course, this also applies to mutant forms of mitochondria as well. When too many mutant mitochondria multiply, energy production level decreases….the decrease in energy production is associated with the ''aging'' process. So? Are you still stupid enough to say that WE are the higher species? », a second lump grew on his head after a certain solid object whacked him again.

Daniel wiped his mouth, «…can't believe I just stood here while this _loooonnngggg_ explanation was given. Still, not sure I get it. But you're NOT saying that the mit-o sumthin' is doing all this CONSCIOUSLY!? », he too got hit twice.

Aya rolled her eyes, «Men and their overacting…. Do go on Doctor, after all this interesting scientific stuff is the only reasons I haven't shoved you out a window yet despite my earlier warnings. »

«When I said that the mitochondria could mutate 10 times faster than normal cells, I also meant that they could evolve at a rate 10 times faster….since the beginning of creation, the mitochondria has been evolving at this rate. It's no surprise if they possess a power beyond our cognition. No surprise at all… »

Brea suddenly hit him over the head for sheer fun, «Bet that was though. »

«Let me tell you something. »

She pulled a chair closer to them and got her handcuffs out, «Yes? »

«There was a scientist who tried to determine the mutation of the mitochondria. »

«Was it you? »

«With-, what, no. »

«But the man in the white vision was you, though. »

«Just—listen, with this, the scientist wanted to establish a connection with human ancestry. In 1987, it was announced that the root of all humans can be traced to a single woman in Africa. »

Daniel, «DAMN! Lady must be _really_ old by now…. »

«….yes, yes you dumb macaque….. This finding was announced around the world. And with this, the mitochondrial theory spread like wildfire…. »

Brea grinned, «She'd applaud your choice of words. »

«You know what they call the root of it all… ? ''Mitochondria Eve''. Splendid name….. just incredible…!», he looked like he could come right then.

The blonde took a step back, «Alright, just don't ejaculate in your pants, I don't wanna see that. By the way, that suspect we mentioned, she called herself just that. Now, once again, don't come in your pants. I warn you I will use this solid police baton, chair and cuffs. »

«…!? WHAT!? », the man did come thus Aya strapped him to the chair and shoved his ass out the window at amazingly inhuman speed.

Daniel blinked at her in stupor, «HEY! WHAT THE HELL IS-» and his head got bashed over the desk so a pipette stuck in his eyes, then was also shoved out of the museum but through an unbroken window.

«…men….», she walked to the car, opened the door and glanced around suspiciously at the wheel, then sat behind it, inserted the keys and…. got shoved to the passenger's seat once more.

«Nuh uh Hey-Ya. »

«FUCK SAKE I'M GONNA KILL YOU! »

«Nahh, you know what our holding cells look like; you don't want to commit murder. », he drove off.

«It wouldn't be a homicide, accidents happen all the time in NYPD. », she noticed a helicopter that was wasting fuel up there. She could of course go about ''that man, I've seen him before, but I can't remember where'', bullshit considering she keeps getting flashbacks. Instead they focused on what came out of the police radio, someone was blabbering something about something. Daniel figured it out since he speaks cop white-noise-over-radio language, and rammed his feet down at the pedal thus killing several cats plus more civilians; severing heads and limbs alike, even babies.

Back to the station, Aya saw Cathy who was still loitering around the corridor; it's as if she was paid to be useless. Brea had barely crossed the main door that the other woman started chatting «The whole place is going nuts, I saw Nix and the others throw peanuts at the walls for some reason. Wonder what's happened… maybe Daniel ate all the donuts again. »

Brea saw Daniel standing near the meeting room so she sped his way, not that she cared to meet him but she had to escape this woman's gossip. Apparently there was some meeting, a reunion merely involving three officers, excluding the chief. The captain's mouth began to open and close, that's all Brea could see since she didn't want to look at his face; for her Bake-Her was always a yapping mouth.

«Miss Piss' solo concert was scheduled for today. For obvious reasons, she will not attend. »

The woman swiftly reloaded her pistol, «You're right, she won't since technically she has ceased to exist the moment Eve took over. Badass Eve, though, will attend the concert. »

«People are still gathering at the stage because they're idiots. If we can prevent it, we must NOT let another massacre happen again. In case I did not scream enough, we must NOT let it. IF, once more, we can prevent it; I mean, better you guys than me. », he then turned towards the black board where he had scribbled some indescribable shit. «The concert is at the Non-Central Park amphitheater. »

Daniel now looked dead white, which is absolutely not a good thing, «Non-Central park!? I always wanted to go there! »

Brea stared, «Shit D., you could have gone anytime…. »

«And I suppose I also do care a bit for my ex-wife and son that were going to that concert, both person that I let down because who cares about a crappy opera concert. Saying the word 'concert' more than once makes me feel, I dunno…. weird. », then he flailed his arms around like a degenerate before running off.

Aya sighed, «Fine, I'll go to save his ass, and everyone else's since it's what I do and only me can do it. »

Bake-Her picked a Mod Permit from in between his double-chin but she disregarded it, «No way I'm touching that, plus I don't need it. », and left.

The remaining officer stared at the chief, his pride once again bruised. However Brea did go to the weapons storage room to empty her inventory from medicine she doesn't currently need, since all monsters are way too weak for her giving her bad ass rifle and upgraded stats. She caught on a conversation between Torres and Wayne, who were getting along quite well for a change.

The young man raised his voice, «When are you gonna let ME tune up the guns….? I didn't ask to be assigned here to watch over the warehouse and its damp spots all day, ya know….» He furiously kicked a dead mouse away.

«As long as you see guns as toys to be admired and licked, you'll never touch them! Let alone touch yourself while touching them! »

«I touch 'em all the time you just don't notice! Besides, I KNOW I can make a stronger gun than you! Just, _because!_ »

«Guns aren't supposed to be stronger, you numbskull! »

«…..what the hell does that even mean, is that some old-geezer mean name calling, like wtf is it? »

«Get outta here, go play with some Lego or something. »

«Fine! », and he went to unblock the toilet that Torres had clogged yet again just this morning.

Brea walked in, «Fuck sake, make out already, you're like an old couple. »

Wayne's voice came from the cubicle-of-poop, «Man, I could do it SO much better…! I can turn that gun into a CANNON, easy! »

Torres scowled, «Sure, right now it would be great if you'd shut up; makes me aware of your presence. »

Wayne popped his head from the adjacent door and addressed the woman, «Ya wanna leave something here? »

Brea didn't even look at him, «No, no need to shit, thanks. »

«Wha—that's not what-»

She approached Torres and peeked through the small box that was on the counter. It contained ammo but she left it there knowing her own two ammo crates were bursting full.

The older guy used a tissue to wipe some grease off his fingers, or at least she hoped that's what it was, «Sorry, didn't mean to make a scene. »

«Why don't you two get a room and evacuate all that tension, huh? Not like I'd want to see that but perhaps that'd get rid of your problems. »

«But that goes for you too, you can never be too careful with-»

She turned around, «OK done here. » and left. She'd tuned up her gun a lot more if only the game stopped telling her all of her slots are full, so unfair.

* * *

Aya went back to the main hall and out the parking lot where Daniel was already seated ready. She sighed and sat down which triggered a cool cut scene where they almost died due to her partner's maddening way of driving plus black ice on the asphalt. Never a good mix.

Daniel shoved a cassette in the player, «What the hell does Melissa want from us?! », shitty hip-hop music started playing as he cranked up the volume.

«First, chill out. », she pressed eject, «And second, she wants to barbecue us alive and relish in the smell, I thought that was fairly obvious. Mindless individuals gathering at one location, perfect opportunity. »

«And she got my boy involved! »

«Look on the bright side; your ears won't end up bleeding tonight and you won't burn. Not tonight anyway. And you might actually get rid of your ex. »

«Maybe. Let's stop at a donut shop though; we've always got time for that. »

Some camera dizzily moved around a map they did not see and then they magically arrived at the Park's entrance. Daniel got out and tripped in the snow, then his left arm caught fire once he tried to step through the entrance gate.

Brea thought that was an opportunity missed.

Now his tuxedo looked even shittier since one sleeve was missing, «I don't care if I burn….. »

«That's one thing we agree on. », she then thought that he'd care once he'd start burning because then that would really hurt. Well Aya couldn't bear to hear him scream his son's name so she knocked him out cold before entering the park, found an abandoned police car and a Cure-Piss in the trunk.

The place was filled with poisonous snakes, weird polar-bear-creatures, crows and monkeys throwing oversized brown bananas…. she also found boxes laying around but all contained nothing but detritus, like an SP vest for Super Powerless, plus a crispy corpse. This is indicative that Eve was around or this person simply burned himself/herself. Who knows, people are weird and Aya gave up trying to understand them long ago. Anyway, goddamn monsters couldn't do a thing against the woman and her bad ass rifle of Immediate-Hell-Sending.

The one woman army blasted a double door to pieces and gained access to some forest habitat indoor. Certain pedestals gave information on what kind of animals you could find behind the glass, _''Look for the brown monkey, one of our many playful rainforest friends!''_ Brea reloaded 77 bullets into her gun, «Between them and me, _they're_ friendly alright. » Plus this one, _''There are many types of rainforest snakes. Some are poisonous, but most are not.''_ Well they tend to be when they leap at your face and bite your eyes, and if you do get poisoned then that means you will die.

The last went, _''The giant worms of South America are very important to the rainforests' ecosystem.''_ Brea would realize later how big they'd grown…. plus since all of those animals are now out, that means some stupid employee failed at their job in one way or other. But said employee experienced spontaneous combustion so that's one problem solved.

Aya exited only to be ambushed again, five enemies, one bullet; bad ass. She also slipped on ice but nothing was around to witness that so she still looked like a hard ass.

«Nice Park. It's so peaceful here. », she filled her lungs with the fresh cold air while shooting once at three shit-like piles equipped with green tentacles. «So welcoming. Seriously though, the fuck was that…. »

Next she opened another gate thus letting more mutated animals out, and discovered another burned corpse which conveniently blocked a path. «Hello sir, taking a nap? Too bad I don't have the jurisdiction to just step around it. », that's when she located the amphitheater and ran to it. Eve was just hovering there on stage clearly not bothered by the harsh temperature, just like everyone else apparently.

The creature spoke to an invisible crowd it seems, «The holiday season brings headache, heartache and stomachache to us all…..not to mention emptying people's bank accounts.… but this Shit-Mas will be the most special of all. Especially because I will no longer be under the control of a host. That woman, you have no idea what I endured, the shitty drama show she watched; how much I starved because she wanted to please a certain boyfriend who can't get it in his empty skull that women too need to eat in order to live. Holy Nucleus, humans are pathetic…. »

Then the amphitheater's seats that had been empty so far magically filled with a crowd and so Brea watched them all turn into slime. That was pretty impressive, too, with the music coming out of nowhere and all. Eventually she tossed her snack aside and yelled at Eve from far back, «Look what you've done, it's really shitty for the ones who'll have to clean this up; you didn't think about that did you!? », so heartless.

Exiting, Aya caught sight of that little girl dressed in green hospital clothing, the girl ran towards the backstage door.

«….Why isn't _anyone_ dressed accordingly, it's cold as Santa's family jewels! », she shook her head even though her own jacket was unzipped. «I really wonder where that music is coming from though. » Brea neared Evil-Santa on stage and aimed her gun, «I'd tell you to freeze, but….»

«Cold doesn't bother me. »

«Nice freakin' haircut, did a bomb exploded in your face? »

«Well since you're failing to notice; you're too late. », she then glided away, leaving Aya standing there.

«…..not again. Damn it, wish I could glide like that. Isn't there some way I can use my powers to do this? » She ran but only managed to slide a bit before falling on her face. Disappointed, Brea used her goddamn legs like the mere human she is and headed back to that corpse. Aya then pursued the little girl around in many small routes among trees, «Come on now, this is no place for a sockless girl however fucked up your hobbies are; I have a job to do so don't get in my way. »

The cop found located more boxes, «Who left those here? More importantly why didn't they fill them with something useful, like food for example? Goddamn people don't make sense.», she then stopped at a phone booth to save her progress.

...Now if I could do that in real life and reload my existence every time I made a mistake….

Popsicle Officer stubbornly ran across all the damn little routes instead of taking shortcuts in between the trees, thus she would have saved precious time and avoided her eyes to freeze open. She then had to fight an army of twenty crows that clearly wanted her exterminated but stood no chance of succeeding; Aya then crossed a long bridge before encountering more of those feces-looking monsters with leaves-like arms, « _Fucking seriously,_ **what** are those!? », triple murder of Dinosaur droppings.

Then she met the biggest worm that was to be found that night. It was entertaining and would remember this battle for the rest of her life, if she survives all the way to Day 6. Next our cop ran towards Eve who was waiting for her with a carriage, the horse didn't seem to mind although I'm certain it could smell that something was awfully off about the floating woman.

«What's wrong with that horse, it just stands there straight as if a metal rod has been shoved through its anus, and moves its head up and down in spasm. »

As if Eve gave a shit, «Come my dear, let's go for a ride. Hahaha! »

«The last person to say that to me was a man, and when he also laughed like that I shot him in the face. With a Shotgun. », Brea stepped forward anyway and poked the animal, even whispered to it ''run for your life'' but it remained still. She then boarded the carriage, that's when the poor horse burst aflame; can't say she didn't warn it. It ran madly about the iced road, and somehow the wild fire didn't spread through the bridles all the way to the carriage.

Eve stared above at her, smiling and looking quite impressive. It was clear the party was just getting started. A nice opera freaky tune was triggered and Aya said, «Goddamn once this is over I'll have had enough of opera singing for three lifetimes. »

«I can't help it, moreover you should be thankful it's not rap or country music. »

«Doesn't justify burning that horse though, what did it do to you? »

«Oh don't look so disapproving, you were getting cold anyway; can't have this little fight if you're suffering from hypothermia. »

«Frozen eyes, nothing to do with me being astonished or anything. »

«Why though? Why be on the human's side? There is so much you could do if you gave that weakness away. The possibilities are almost endless and quite fun. », leveling her arm she pointed towards a passerby and he exploded into goo. Eve snickered.

«Why not? I'm a human. »

Eve's face darkened, «You most definitely are, only a human would answer in such a goddamn predictable boring way.», she ascended in the air before launching a ground-base attack on the carriage, apparently it was supposed to hurt the cop despite not destroying the carriage. With Aya's bad ass vest VOID, it did zero damage, so Eve descended and slapped her in the face instead.

The human snapped her broken neck in place before holding her bleeding face, «That's not fair your hands are abnormally large and clawed! »

Eve grinned before receiving bullets in the face. She spit some out while glaring, «It seems you still don't know who I am. For a cop you're remarkably thick, adding to that all the obvious flashbacks you had. Well if you don't know, your mitochondria will… they're evidently cleverer than you are, that's why you were drawn to the opera. »

«Now that at least explains it…. »

«Moreover…. »

Eve's large hand touched Aya's forehead and the cop backed away as much she could giving the available space, «Stop it! Now that's just not sports -like to try and poke my eyes out! »

«Relax, if I had wanted to pull them out I would have already. If we join forces, all the other mitochondria in the world will….», Eve poked her face only in wanting to touch it but her nail dug in the skin.

«S-stop….! »

«Woops, don't know my strength sometimes. Oh well, funny still. »

Then the horse who'd been burning savagely for the entire ride finally started to panic, its trajectory deviated before it fell, sending the carriage spinning forward on the iced road. Somehow, Aya managed not to puke from the speed and violence of it all, then it abruptly stopped as it collided with a bridge. Eye floated towards it and stared as the cop seemed to be unconscious, «Goddamn humans, so feeble. »

Still, Brea could be so mean, Eve had merely wanted to give her a hug.

But the officer was in the process of having another flashback, same hospital room, two empty stretchers, then one girl appeared on the left before Dr. Cramp appeared before her, and then the girl disappeared so another could appear on the stretcher on the right. Either it was the same girl and she liked to switch beds for some reason, or Aya has a twin sister; either way Brea _still_ didn't understand. Duh.

* * *

During all this pleasurable time of making friends with freak animals in the Park and chasing ghosts, Daniel had been freezing his balls off near the entrance. «Brea! Answer me! », as if she could hear that. Then Ben came running out of nowhere, still only wearing shorts.

Daniel, «Oh, weren't you at the concert? Does this means your mother isn't dead…? », he appeared displeased.

«Well, she was all weird. »

That gave Daniel some hope, «So you mean she's dead? »

«Mom went to investigate but…. she freaked out…. maybe because her flesh started to burst open and melt. »

«Uh huh, tell me more. », Daniel lay a knee down in the snow, immediately regretting it.

«I got near the stage and started to puke, I must have eaten too much Beefaroni…. then I wanted to go home and eat more…but mom wasn't herself, she left and everyone else went too! »

Daniel smiled, «So she really _is_ dead, that's a relief. »

«What do you mean dad? Don't you love mom anymore? »

«Of course I do…. I love her dead. »

His son shot him a questioning stare but it seemed his father was lost in some dark thought contemplation as his smile grew bigger.

Then Ben reached in his pocket and pushed something in his dad's mouth; that immediately snapped the man out of it. «DaFUK— _Ben I told you to stop being gross!_ »

The boy laughed as he ran away with his father on his heels, though falling not long afterward; breaking his backside.

Left alone in the middle of an empty road, cursing and sobbing, ass all cold, thirsty plus needing to empty his bladder.

* * *

Back in NYPD chief's office, Bake-Her, Nix and that orange haired Warner are there.

The Chief managed not to break any of his fingers by mistake this time, «We _can_ NOT put the lives of citizens in jeopardy any longer. It looks so bad on the reports and I'm still after that salary augmentation. We have orders to evacuate all citizens of Manhattan. Fortunately that means no more awkward interviews. »

Warner flipped something off his index, «People bursting in flames, Aya would say it's a very nice gift for Christmas. »

«Spare me her weird way of thinking. We'll remain here and assist, as much as I regret saying that. »

Daniel strolled in the bureau, a plank strapped to his back and a humid traces converging towards his groin, «Any word from Brea? »

«You mean you lost track of her _again!?_ How in holy donut do you always manage that? Nevermind, get it together and help evacuate the dumb masses, think your low intellect can manage it? »

If Aya would have been there while they boringly blabbed on, she would have pointed out again how odd Nix's shirt seemed to be punctured here and there with small holes, as if rodents or small insects had gnawed at it. That or they're numerous coffee stains…..either way it tells us he can't afford new shirts, or he just likes to have numerous ventilation holes.

Daniel just turned heels saying he'd look for the nuisance. Nix looked at the captain, «Shouldn't we stop him, sir? I mean, running awkwardly like that is bound to break his legs and frankly it hurts my eyes. »

«He's lost his ex-wife, so he's found some energy now, might as well let him search for crazy-blonde while we remain safe here, eating pastries. »

Daniel went downstairs close to where the armory is, and that deranged Cathy was there with his son; because it was such a safe spot to keep a kid. Ben ran to his dad as Daniel did the same, so in his pace the father rammed his knee at the boy's face sending him on his ass. Cathy laughed weirdly.

«Ben I'm sorry. »

«It's ok dad, I'm used to it by now. »

«No I mean, I have to leave again, plus abandon you with this woman who's far from being mentally stable or useful. »

«Where did bad ass Bwea go? She went to play with that demon thing that killed mom and so many people? »

«Yeah, she's like that. »

«So COOL! When I grow up I wanna be like her! »

«You can't since you're not a white woman, besides—wait what, why don't you wanna be like your daddy? »

Ben smiled and ran past his father, eyes filled with stars, and entered the room where they keep the dogs. Daniel left, Cathy just remained in the corridor admiring the dirty floor tiles. Meanwhile the guy keeping eyes on the canines, whose name was apparently Cop, welcomed the boy. «Hello lil boy, you want to get closer to those expertly trained police dogs? Sure, let me open the fence. »

Before he could do that, the dog jumped over the very low fence and proceeded to lick the boy's face, spreading its fetid breath all over him. Cop lifted a hand, «Looks like Sheeva likes you. If she'd been Shiva, the Guardian Force from Final Fantasy VIII, then you'd be in serious fucking trouble, but this dog's _no trouble at all,_ lucky you. »

Truth is Sheeva was only licking off the remaining of Beefaroni on the boy's face, not caring for the human one bit. Well since he likes dogs, he's absolutely going to _love_ that one….

* * *

Then cut scene where civilians are trying to leave the city, bumping into other's cars, killing cops trying to control the traffic and additional trouble just like humans do. A poor, lonesome scarf was shown resting on cold ice, abandoned; that was a poignant scene indeed, it didn't deserve this.

In another portion of town three policemen are chatting with a civilian who's dragging around a huge backpack; the man is Asian and wanders around with his sleeves rolled up. Of course.

One of the policemen told him the roads are blocked and city got evacuated, «You won't even find a cat on this street! »

The foreigner thought this was a direct attack due to his nativity, a derogatory comment on how Asian people like to cook cats. However his English was so bad that he did not know how to reply to that, besides he lacked balls to defend himself in the first place. So he stood there muttering to himself, then cop started to speak German, as if this would help at all somehow. The two other officers stared at the Japanese man while this went on, increasing the awkwardness level of it all. Not to worry because suddenly the cop standing in between the two others just burst into flames, but the remaining two mainly sidestepped back and forth as if they were dancing while enjoying a nice bonfire. This allowed the Asian to run past them and the barriers.

Thank you Nature.

However he did look at them burning from afar, because he likes it, «Spontaneous human combustion. I believe that's correct…. », somehow his English was just fine, probably was faking earlier.

Meanwhile Aya is who knows where as she's having another goddamn flashback, this time of other areas of a hospital. Well from all the lack of improvement she's done so far then I believe we can call this very small step: progress. This process of showing the Hospital with incredibly unnecessary slow camera shots however, took all eternity and couldn't even be skipped so it infuriated the player….

Then she comes to, laid on a very soiled mattress in a murky place with some unknown dude who's staring at a white-screen TV. Also empty bottles and detritus are on the floor, as well as a container in the room with fire burning in it; I'm sure the fumes gathering indor is very healthy for their lungs and won't kill them at all. But to hell with it huh, similar to them being so lightly dressed versus cold temperatures.

She sat up so the Asian man whipped around saying «I'm not good with women. », proper introduction sentence and all.

Aya stared, «That's fine, I'm not good with humans. Who the hell are you, where are we and how did I end up in such a dump? »

«I'm a scientist from Japan, I found you laying unconscious outside, so I dragged you here. By your hair. So it might explain the pain in your scalp. »

Brea looked his very scrawny arms over, she had more muscles than him so she thinned her eyes, «Hard to believe you did. » She was scrutinizing him hard and Maeda was about to piss himself, when a door got torn off its hinges due to decrepitude and Daniel walked in. She eyed him instead, «So if you're also here, why did you leave me _here_? »

«There's no one out there but cops… it's a ghost town. Although unlike Silent Hill. »

«OK? Still didn't answer my question though. I like ghost towns, btw. »

«Pretty creepy if you ask me… »

Aya looked away again, «No I didn't ask yet again, and once more I wonder how you made it in the force. Did anyone see a floating woman anywhere? »

«I don't know, but the audience disappeared….. »

Brea looked at him, «That's a childish word Daniel, they didn't, some substance started to flow out of them and then they turned into one big mass of slime; was quite a show. »

Maeda pushed his glasses up his nose for the hundredth time in thirty seconds, «You mean they weren't ignited? Damn, did I really bring these marshmallows for nothing…? I missed the party in Japan and now it happens here. »

Brea motioned towards the flames, «I thought that's why you started a fire. »

«Maybe we'll need them once Eve gives birth to the ultimate being here since she failed in Japan. »

Daniel panicked again, «WTH IS GOIN' ON HERE?! »

Aya grabbed the nearby shelf and toppled it on him, « _Shut up!_ », he split his head on the hot container on his way down. «See what happens when you keep overacting? You made me do it, besides none of you are safe with me anymore. I might turn into one supreme being myself which will make me realize even more how puny and stupid you all are; that in turn will not only make me want to kill you still, but I'll definitely do it since I'll be almighty. So you two leave right now. »

Maeda thought it was a great idea since she's a woman, so he grabbed a bag of food and was leaving when the blonde said, «No, leave the bag. », he didn't want to get ignited so he didn't argue and left...well, as soon as he was done making his way _allll_ around the container towards the exit in that extremely slow pace of his. Brea popped the bag open and savored the fluffiness in her mouth absentmindedly, Daniel eventually crawled from under the shelf and left.

«When Eve poked my face, I felt blood...but then I also sensed Maya…. but she died in the car crash with mom…. she always ate chips while driving. So it can't be her….! », she had said all this out loud with her mouth full so everything sounded weird, plus on the last sentence bits of food flew out.

* * *

 _Author Note:_ I like scientific matters, and mixed with this game it was even greater, so I couldn't bear to change the script when Dr. Klamp explains stuff. I wanted to keep that part intact as much as possible. More jokes coming from Dr. Klamp though because I actually like his guts, so he's going to turn funnier.


	3. Day 3- EXPLOSION

**Day 3-** **EXPLOSION**

 _(SELECTION)_

Officer Brea had many dreams that night; one was consisting of a black screen on which she was asked if she wanted to save her progress.

When Aya woke up she realized the fire had died, sure it was now really cold inside but at least she didn't die from the toxic fumes, which of course makes sense. When the woman exited the shitty room, she found out that someone had died near the place, the body was all blue just like the shirt the man wore. Then Maeda moved, «….that was a very really long night…..! Frankly it was horrible, made mental note never to do this again. », although he would still prefer to sleep outside even if he' be in the Yukon region because that was better than having to deal with a female.

Brea didn't blink, «…You were here all night…. with your ass dipped in snow but still survived…? You seriously think I'm going to believe that…»

«I uhhh,…. my English isn't very good. »

Aya knew it to be a shitty excuse but left it at that, she was neither a people-person nor a morning-person; the two combined called for murder.

The Asian tried to stand up but his ass was iced in the sidewalk, plus his limbs were stuck in place, «Besides scientists don't believe in anything unless there is proof, so unless you actually set me on fire…. »

«That might happen sooner than you think, and _not_ thanks to some powers. »

Suddenly someone drove a police car right into the scientist; it actually helped the man stand up. Daniel exited the car, «My driving is improving! Plus there's no traffic, this is the way it oughta be around here! », he slipped on ice.

Aya still stared, «Yes, a dead city with no humans. »

«That's not what I meant-»

«While we're at it let's just get whatever we want from nearby stores; everyone secretly wants to do that when they think of catastrophic scenarios like this so now's our chance. »

«Alright we're gonna need bigger guns. »

«No, _you_ do, I have what I need right here. »

Maeda shoved his spectacles up his nose so much it dug through his cranium, «I believe there's a pharmacy over there, time to stock up on drugs, might be our last chance to mix things up and experience hallucinogenic trips! »

Brea nodded, «Oh so that's how you survived last night. »

They went to the gun shop first, which violence-enthusiasts wouldn't. The scientist analyzed the front door, «They weren't kidding when they said they sell guns here in Murica, were they… However, selling brains would also help. »

Daniel said «Wut?», then he fired his pistol for no apparent reason.

Aya glared, «The hell's wrong with you?! You almost shot my leg off! »

«I was aiming at the store, y'know, to open the door. »

«Then it might help if you aimed to you left _at it_ and not to your right! Just don't do another move, I'll take care of this. », she fired towards the door and the whole front of the building exploded instead; kickass rifle does that. Maeda removed shards from his eyes and picked up a new pair of glasses from his back pocket, realizing that pair was also broken. That's what happens when you sit on glasses, must not have felt it since his butt was frozen last night.

So they got in but didn't armed themselves with bad ass guns like Daniel hinted, maybe they didn't want to live after all.

Aya found some shitty weapons lying around and one crappier vest, but her eyes stuck on some true beauties locked away in a glass case. Two Silverballers equipped with black silencers resting on a crimson cushion, just staring back at her. Although tempted, her instinct told her that if she wanted to live she'd rather not lay a single finger on them. Or her tongue. It also made the woman glance over her shoulder as a shiver coursed through her. Ridiculous, nothing was there. Brea stared back at the beautifully crafted handguns, «Too fucking bad. », then she looked across the room, «So are you done restocking on ammo?»

Daniel stopped scratching his ass, «Oh yeah, good thinking. I'll do that. »

She frowned, then looked the scientists' way and found out he was staring at her, however he muttered a, «I wasn't staring at you, or any parts of you, it's just that my eyeballs were positioned wrong that's all. Broken glass in retinas might be the cause. I should probably develop a theorem from that axiom. »

«I've never heard a case of shattered glass bringing saliva at the corners of one's mouth. »

He appeared confused and dipped his fingers in it, «Why yes, that is most interesting…» before foam started to build and then he dropped down having a seizure. Aya attributed this to consequences of him abusing medicine last night, plus his near-death experience in the cold; so she abandoned both men there and ran to the pharmacy.

The store had already been ransacked so she found little of interest, however there was a shelf containing meds bearing the name and logo of Umbrella Pharmaceutical. None of the products had been taken and she wondered why, well anyway it's not like the woman needs anything since her powers would suffice if she required healing. The cop also found a graffiti on the wall; '' _Joel & Ellie were here!_''

Brea went back to the police car where the two men waited patiently while freezing their asses off, she felt like avoiding being seated close to any of them so she sit at the back.

Daniel seated as well then turned around, «Hey! You're supposed to be up in the front with me! »

«Once you let me drive I will, otherwise do that and shut it. »

«Road rules don't apply anymore so we can take the shortest route through Manhattan! »

«You never paid attention to those road rules anyway. »

The black man bore a scary happy face as he stomped the accelerator. Maeda asked to be transported where he could run some experiments so they drove to the museum because apparently no other place in this city was equipped with a laboratory.

Daniel looked in the rearview mirror, «I'm expecting a big tip for this. »

«You won't get shit. Oh and speaking of which, stop by ShitDonalds; I feel like eating everything they have on the menus. »

Daniel sped up like usual, difference is this time there wasn't any limbs or blood colliding with the car. After they all ate like pigs, yes even Maeda, they parked in front of the Museum and Aya noticed that the large banner. The previously white Chocobo was now headless; an omen?

Daniel went up the stairs but slipped again, «I hope that Dr. isn't there. »

Brea walked passed him by stepping on his hand, «He should have evacuated but I wouldn't count on that, you've noticed how he came into his pants while talking about Eve and mitochondria. No way he'd miss anything that's about to happen. »

They went upstairs and the scientist rushed towards the microscope like starving teens on cheeseburgers, «I'll investigate the gel-like substance I found on officer Brea's boots. I've already disposed of what seemed to be monkey feces, for some reason. », he adjusted the apparatus, which made an odd sound for one. Then he took a scalpel and sliced his arm, Aya eyed the blood falling to the floor, «Did you really need that big of a sample? »

«No, but errr…. I'm not good with scalpels either. », he calibrated the microscope once more and then they all watched a short movie as we're taken on a nice trip through his cells.

The blonde blinked once, «I will not ask how this was possible. Your cells seem to be surrounded by _them_ though. Are you going to faint? If so then Daniel will take care of you. »

«No I'm not. As you can see Eve has taken over the nucleus, just like the animals in Non-Central Park were overcome by her. »

She thinned her eyes, «I didn't tell you about the animals, so how do you know? »

«I'm a scientist, I know things. The "normal" mitochondria don't have such power. »

«I hope you're not going to cream your pants like that Cramp….»

Maeda whipped a bowl of ramen from his messy hair and started eating while expertly explaining the following, «Eve's mitochondria has gone through tremendous evolutionary changes. Normally mitochondria require oxygen when they generate energy called ATP. So at this time, the mitochondria requests oxygen from the nucleus. Without the energy supply from the mitochondria, the nucleus cannot function. », he slurped very noisily on some noodles, «So in essence, the two organelles constantly rely on each other. But in this case….It seems that Eve developed the power to reverse this symbiotic relationship. Evolution, or even mutation seems likely in this case… even with a limited number of cells, her cells have this much power. Can you imagine how much power Eve has within her WHOLE body….?! »

Aya looked elsewhere, «Here we go… »

Maeda's face flushed red.

«Hey. »

He turned her way almost fainting, «Y-yes?! »

«Hell relax, you're going to have a heart attack. Not that I care but I don't want this on my hands. Just test my cells will you. », she took the scalpel, «Let me do this though, I actually need both arms to do my job. »

Maeda still screwed around with the microscope, Aya sighed, «Seriously, how many goddamn times do you need to adjust that? »

In response, the scientist had a second orgasm, «You'd better see this for yourself….»

Brea made a face, «No thanks, I don't need to look at your erection. »

The man's face flushed red, «N-no I mean, the microscope of course! »

The nucleus of her cell is orange instead of blue, it also gets surrounded by the enemy but forcefully pushes them back, potentially destroying the attacker. «That is awesome indeed.»

«Your mitochondria are supplying more energy to the nuclei of your cells….it's almost as if they are protecting the nuclei from Eve's mitochondria…..»

Daniel had came back from Not Paying Attention Land, «And why is she the only one with this awesomness?! That's just not fair goddamn! »

«Are you familiar with the theory of the 'Selfish Gene'? »

Daniel's only answer was to stare vacantly, meanwhile Aya walked around very slowly as if she had suddenly turned as retarded.

Maeda shook his head, «Why did I bother asking…. In simple terms, it states that 'genes act in a manner to preserve and ensure survival of the species.' Depending on how you look at it, you can say that Eve is trying to destroy all mitochondria except her own. In response to that, Aya's mitochondria has developed the power to rebel….»

«Dammit but why only her?! »

«Well, I don't know why. This happens sometimes that I don't know things, it's very frustrating….. » he scrubbed the back of his head thus it started snowing inside the room. Then for no fucking reason both cops swiftly aimed their handguns towards the door as if hinted by a sixth sense; but actually it's only because it's written in the script.

Brea grinned, «Like I said, he wouldn't have left the city and missed all the fun. »

Dr. Cramp stood in the threshold, «What are you imbeciles doing in my lab?! This is breaking, entering, snooping around and touching my stuff! »

Vain Daniel still asked why he had not evacuated the city yet, Aya closed her eyes and thinned her lips, Cramp walked in the room, «She just explained so, you primate. Besides, I'm asking WHY you people are IN MY LAB! »

«Easy Dr., remember what happened last time when you screamed too often. Those bandages on your face should be a good reminder enough. »

Then Daniel started wandering around the room for some reason, perhaps he was looking for his brains.

Cramp shook his head, «I tell you…. COPS are the ones corrupting this fine city…! », someone's pistol hit him in the face.

«I disagree; _morons_ are the ones doing that, and it so happens that most humans belong to that category. »

Dr. turned to the scrawny man at his left, «And who the hell are YOU? »

«O-oh, I, I'm Kunihiko Ma-»

«Never mind I don't need to know, you'll all die anyway. », he glanced at his desk, «You were using my electronic microscope…. _dammit_ you moron, it took me ages to adjust it and now you've ruined that precious time lost! I should have you castrated before I dissect you!», he leaned over and looked through it, which naturally made him come. «Wha…?! What is this?! Where did you get this… specimen?!», he glared at the scientist, «YOU! Where did you get these CELLS? »

«I-I-I-»

«Forget that, I've already figured it out for myself because my IQ surpasses everyone's in this room. With cells like these, it MUST affect the body's natural state! »

Maeda scratched the back of his head, starting a new drop of flakes, «Well , errr-»

«Oh shut up! I'll just ask…. Officer Brea…! Your cells contain a tremendous amount of energy. Do you feel any… bodily changes? »

She eyed him, «….nooo, but _you_ do. »

«Don't mind that, science turns me on, period, not you. You should feel… somewhat, hot, no? Speak up officer, I can't hear you…. »

«That's because I wasn't talking, obviously. »

Cramp thinned his eyes, «Have you lost consciousness anytime recently? »

Daniel had being walking around aimlessly _still_ , perhaps this time he was searching for food, who knows, I'm not used to put myself in moronic's minds. When suddenly he fired up and was his usual overreacting-annoying self, «Hey! Wth is THIS?! »

Cramp lifted a brow, «…don't tell me you understand what's on that screen, because that would be impossible judging by your limited IQ. »

«Why's my boy's name HERE?! », easily dismissing his ex-wife's name being there are well.

The Dr. got closer, meaning to spare his computer and valuable research some dumb move from the primate, when Daniel grabbed him by the collar, «Are you some goddamn pedo?! TELL ME, you hear?! »

Aya rolled her eyes, «YES we can ALL hear you! »

Cramp's feet didn't even touch the floor anymore but he didn't try to defend himself, instead he remained stoic as fuck and ordered the man, «Let go of me… I don't have to tell you anything. »

«DAMN YOU! »

Brea stepped in, «Alright enough I can't bear it when you keep yelling like that it makes me extremely homicidal. »

The cop let go, before apparently having some sort of seizure, gesticulating and all plus hitting Maeda in the face.

Cramp motioned towards the door, «Get outta here! »

And then Daniel looked even more like a gorilla making a fuss then stepped out. Aya eyed Cramp, he had even more guts than previously proved, «Well I'll let you go back to your… hot science. And since you're staying here to enjoy the fun, I warn you, don't step in my way.», she started walking away.

«Officer Brea, do you enjoy having that barbarian for a partner? »

Oh she could tell him the truth, plus everything that she actually enjoys, but the woman merely glanced back at him and left. Maeda then followed her under the other man's severe eyes, «Oh…uh…. no…thank you…..er….. bye….. I think…. English not good….» Wow, nicely done.

Cramp scoffed under his breath, wondering how it was that this scrawny man didn't break in half. And then he started talking out lout to himself because why the fuck not, «It's too late now…. too late to do anything now… » he didn't even bother adjusting his microscope, though a change of underwear was due.

* * *

Back to the trio, Daniel's driving was even madder, «I swear I HATE him! »

«Yeah, you made that pretty clear. Now calm the fuck down, I didn't survive all his level up only to die in a stupid car accident. So Mr. Scientist, what was that list? People to kill? »

The Asian put his sushi away momentarily, «An HLA type listing, to see whether organs will be rejected when transplanted. »

Brea sneaked a left hand around her seat and stole food from him, «Why in the hell would he investigate on Daniel's relatives? I mean, they're not important at all. »

«It was a list of people with matching HLA types, so….. »

«…so….? »

«….I don't know. Wouldn't it be fun if I knew? », he resumed stuffing his face.

«…O-kayyyy…. »

Daniel got infuriated some more and nearly killed them, but that wasn't anything new; what surprised the trio is when they got back to the station and realized some sort of shit had happened. Everything was a wreck and they'd soon find injured or dead officers, but more alarming was the fact that the dude who's normally endlessly typing his parodies at the PC's front desk was nowhere to be seen, that alone indicated how dire the situation was.

Daniel asked the obvious, «What the hell happened here!? »

«One thing's for certain, we won't get answers by standing here asking the broken furniture.»

Maeda chuckled, «Seems to be that perhaps someone farted in here and it blew up. »

They looked at him, and Aya finally said, «Do you have any more scientific theories like that?»

«No not at the moment. »

Brea clutched her chest, «….Eve… I could recognize this powerful aura anywhere. She's here. I'll go look around, you two stay here. »

Daniel stroke his beard, «You sure? And why are you grabbing your boobs...? »

«Yeah, definitely, and not just because you'd burn if you walked through that doorframe. »

«B-but you might need my backup! »

«Never did. »

« **HE** - **hell nah!** I ain't gunna wait around here for you to take all the credit once again. And, I think I don't actually want my son to burn, either. », on that he ran away.

Aya blinked, «Fine get yourself killed, see if that'll change anything in my life. »

She was about leaving when Maeda called to her, «W-wait! Take this. », he handed her something.

The cop looked at the object, then at him, next somewhere else and then back at him, «So….what the fuck is that…? »

«Oh, just a good luck's charm. »

«Does it look like we're in a Fatal Frame game here? »

He stared, «Err…»

«Forget it. Seriously though, why is it in this awkward shape….? What's it supposed to represent? »

«Can't say. »

«….you _do_ know but the fact that you _don't_ want to clarify means that I should probably not know myself. Besides I doubt that'll be some help against the most formidable foe I'll ever face in my lifetime, moreover it'll only take space in my inventory; AND if I was Lara Croft I could say something cool like 'I make my own luck', but I'm not so….. ah to hell with it. », the woman left, pretending she'd keep it but once Brea had crossed the door she tried to toss it away. For some reason a strange force prevented her to discard the useless item so she was stuck with it. «That's no good luck charm but a curse. »

Looking to her right she noticed one policeman resting on his back, apparently Daniel was so eager to be set aflame that he didn't offer any assistance. Aya bent to investigate his pocket finding nothing but unspecified food crumbs. She entered the locker room expecting to find that guy who never managed to zip his jacket; well he was there but dead on the floor. Aya noticed his jacket was zipped though, probably had finally won over that difficult task _just_ before he got killed. The guy endlessly opening and closing his locker wasn't there though, locker deserved that break.

Exiting, she then fought one crow and a rat, «The party goes on. Though I wonder how they got in. », that's when she unlocked Energy Shot, «Good. Whatever that is. » Brea looked around the floor at all the broken glass and paintings, a new décor indeed, «Still looks better than before…. »

Upon entering the employee's office she located a pair of legs, running to them Brea discovered they were attached to Warner who apparently was taking a nap near the printer. She kicked his foot, «Hey. »

The redhead looked up, «….Almighty carrot, Eve really caught us off guard… I mean we should have expected this since everyone left town and seeing we're the police, and you went after her….. but still, how could we have known? Worse is I couldn't even finish my pizza, now that's just really not fair…»

«Warner, where's your brother? »

«…what? »

«Warner Brothers….? »

«…...»

«…Never mind. Is the chief dead? »

«I don't think so. He ran out of here when shit started to fly off. I didn't know he could run with all that weight. »

«Shit. I was hoping you'd tell me he died. Well seeing that you're already of no help at all, you just stay here while I get all the glory. Wait, that raises a very pertinent question; how is it that none of you are burned to a crisp? This place should be filled with roasted cops but you're all just injured or suffered normal deaths. »

«How the fuck should I know, I didn't ask her! »

«You did well, else she just might have poked you in the face with her long finger… or stabbed you with that thing coming out of her dress. Luis Sera knows how that must suck…..»

She got up and investigated the captain's office, the woman was almost expecting to find the nuisance slouched at this desk eating the rest of the pizza. Instead she found another policeman on the floor, when he heard footsteps he said, «…all I wanted, was to taste the delicious warm goodness in my mouth, before I die…. my luck sucks so much, I wasn't even granted that…..» he died.

Aya exited, stepped over Warner's legs and went to her desk; she tried to phone a colleague in order to save her progress but for some reason no one picked up. «Lazy bum…! », the blonde ran downstairs and found out two monsters in the middle of a lunch break or something. She aimed at them, «Didn't you see the sign that says 'NO loitering'? » she didn't know what the fuck they were though and stared at their corpses once dead, «…are those dogs…? »

Brea then pushed the weapon's department door which earned her to be shot in the stomach; there was no reaction from her though. Wayne blinked in stupor but then lowered his gun, «The fuck are you made of?! »

Blonde tapped her own belly, «VOID vest. »

Torres, who lay on the floor near Wayne, coughed blood, «See I told you you're too hasty with guns! You almost killed our only means of survival! », and he coughed some more blood, followed by grease, for some strange reason.

Wayne glared down at him, «Don't you _ever stop?!_ »

Aya still didn't offer assistance though, «So what happened here, is this result of some intense hardcore diarrhea or actual monsters? »

Wayne leveled his eyes, «This freak of a dog came and tried to chew his legs off! I shot it in the eyes but it had already taken one of his legs….. »

«So that's what I saw in the corridor. »

Torres looked at her, «Guess I screwed up, eh? »

«Yes. »

His eyes rolled in his sockets, «….rhetoric question…. guess it was too damn much to ask of you to comfort me in my demise…. »

«Well duh, then don't ask anything if you don't want an answer. »

Wayne fired up at him, «You stupid old fool, why didn't ya shoot man!? It's like you wanted to get eaten! »

«Haven't used a gun since….. that time I shot myself in the dick…. while laughing... It was an accident. »

Aya frowned, «No shit? But you know you can't blame guns for that but your own stupidity.»

Torres frowned, blood bubbles popped at the corner of his mouth and then he died disgracefully along with the shameful memory of his biggest failure. Wayne stared at her, «Nice. _Real nice_. Would it kill you to be comforting once in your life? »

«Oh don't pretend you care, that's precisely the kind of opportunity you were waiting for; now you'll be able to take his place. Not like anyone will miss him anyway. »

«Fuck you're such a heartless being! », he said that while taking place behind the counter, «So what will it be? » She tilted her head and stared at him, he blinked, «Whaaat? He's dead isn't he, someone's got to provide you with some technical support. », then Wayne started to tell her the newly-dead dude's story but she left him there, just one more person who thought she gave a shit.

The cop walked past Torres' corpse as Wayne kept talking, and said to him «Should probably put him away, don't want his carcass to attract more mutated rats. »

Aya went to the kennel whose door had exploded off its hinges sometime during her discovering Torres. She found Cathy on the floor although Brea was more interested by the orange substance inside the animal's cell, «Looks like one of the dogs had diarrhea. »

Cathy winced, «Sheeva started to act stranger than usual, that little boy went after her…. I didn't try to stop him. »

«Of course you didn't since you've never done anything useful around here. »

And on that note the policewoman died, it also triggered a nice dynamic song. Moreover two monsters spawned right behind Aya so she whipped around shooting, «Yep, they _are_ dogs I suppose. »

Meanwhile, naive Ben was running after his own death as the dog speeds away on the third floor. Brea gets back to the second and finds Nix who's on his front on the tired floor, «Ben went upstairs chasing Sheeva… I could be wrong, but I don't think that's a good idea. »

«Have you seen Daniel? He ran inside but then seemed to have disappeared. »

«Maybe he's hiding in the men's room, crying from his perpetual inability to do shit? »

«By the way I always wanted to ask you why there's so many goddamn holes in your shirt. »

«Like, really? I'm dying and that's all you think of doing….? »

«Hmm, yes, I thought that was fairly obvious. »

And he lost consciousness. She investigated the meeting room and found a vest in a brown box, entitled CU for 'Criminally Useless', then she fought spiders that clearly disapproved of the woman ruining their little reunion. The unimpressed cop simply repeatedly hit them with her Club5 until they broke apart in multiple pieces, it also stole a Probably-Useless potion. Brea finally ran up the stairs leading to the third floor where her access had been denied prior to this joyful incident. She caught sight of a downed officer near the gate.

«C… can't… make it…. Got me p, pretty… good…», he talked as if he was dying but she could pinpoint no injury on him so she figured he was faking only so he could just lay there and let her do all the job. So the woman picked up her Club5 and swiftly broke one of his leg.

« _ **HOLYSHITWHY!?**_ »

«Now you're convincing; plus that's for refusing me access to this area in the beginning. »

Brea visited the cell block in the adjacent room but it was devoid of anything useful, even Bertoluci wasn't there, neither was Solid Snake for that matter. Too bad Leon S. Kennedy was not present, would have proved useful and Aya would have loved to _investigate_ him. She was daydreaming when two more spiders showed but so she threw her police baton thus effortlessly exploded them. Locating another Tool in a cell she simply left it there, «So many tools here it's like a hardware store. », and Brea did not only refer to the actual objects.

Meanwhile Ben kept running after Sheeva, the dog executed a creepy turn on itself while its limbs didn't move, faced the boy and growled. «Sheeva don't go that way! I'll give you Beefaroni if you listen! », but the canine ran off again. Lucky for him she did not chew his face off. Bake-Her, who supposedly had chased after Ben, was still nowhere to be found though. I mean it wasn't that hard, all you had to do was follow the dog's droppings.

Two rats showed up behind the boy but didn't attack, probably because they're racist and only hate white people. Or they don't like chocolate.

Brea entered the interrogation room and the one-way mirror blew in her face, no Licker attacker her but two additional dogs. Having no beef jerky to toss, the blonde ran up close to them as if wanting to get killed and then shot them to hell. The victor exited and ran through the corridor to another room where she had also expected the chief to be hiding. It was full of books so no way he'd be hiding in here.

Meanwhile Ben got close to Sheeva as the dog stopped in an empty area, despite it growling and having scary spasms, the boy still kneeled to the canine plus even hugged her. Seconds later he would have had his head ripped off if not for Bake-Her finally showing up and tearing the boy from the animal. «Let go! Sheeva's ill! She needs more Beefaroni, that always help when I'm sick! »

«I highly doubt it does, boy! Now cling to my fat while I barrel-roll us to a corner of this room which I assume to be a safe distance from danger, rather than escaping from the door I came in from. » , he threateningly aimed a dog's bone her way.

«Don't hurt Sheeva! »

«Get back and shut your mouth! I mean, close your eyes! »

He didn't, thus Ben witnessed his only friend mutate horribly, with wet sounds and everything; half-digested Beefaroni spilled on the floor then. Now an even cooler tune started and Aya only needed to follow the song to their position. Although she didn't since she wasn't done investigating the rest of the area; meanwhile the captain threw the dog's bone at mutated Sheeva before pissing his pants.

Brea entered another room discovering a laboratory, well who would have thought...

The lab technician turned around, «Oh, hi. »

Aya eyed the woman, «Sooo…. what are you doing? »

«Continuing my research, no need to panic when all hell breaks loose. »

«Yeah, anyway you'll be safer here considering no one was even aware that we owned a lab.»

«Hey you're hurt, I think I have enough supplies to treat you once. »

«Hm no I'm not. But once? That's really the best you can do? »

«Yes. »

«I mean, those three plants at our right seems to be of the same family that grows in Raccoon City. »

The lab tech's left eye twitched, «No, not at all. You play too much video games. »

«Fine keep all those for you if you so wish, not like I need healing. Just don't get in my way and you won't need medicine either. ». While leaving, Aya glanced back, «Since you're not doing anything of importance then how about you provide medical support to all the officers who are injured? Just a crazy thought like that. »

Brea exited and ran to another injured cop, he coughed, «I don't think I'm gonna make it…. »

«I second that, one look at your missing legs plus your intestines poking out clearly testifies.»

«Take the stuff in my locker. », he tossed the key at her face and died.

A grin formed on her lips, she'd finally knew what important item was concealed in that locker of his as he was always seen muttering and crazily giggling to himself. So with barely contained anticipation and thrill, Aya went back down to the locker room, licking her lips she slide the key into the lock and…. it didn't work, she blinked, and then realized it was meant to be used on the locker next to this one.

The woman inhaled and inserted the key with double the impatience now and opened it almost breaking the door off. She rapidly glanced around until her eyes stopped on a reflective surface. It was a CD case, she grabbed it and once seeing what it was her face darkened considerably. Angry of having been deceived with such a cheap item, she threw it away where it exploded into a corner, then the blonde walked out with heavy steps. Turns out the object the twit so coveted was Parasite Eve II, absolutely nothing worth having.

Going back to the third floor she ran past _that_ uselessguy, saying between clenched teeth, «Take the _shit_ in my locker; _take the_ _ **useless shit in my locker.**_ », and went to secure yet another room, an officer was being cornered between boxes by a creature twice his size. Aya said, «I see you're the one that got Torres. », she could tell just by looking at it somehow. Well too bad she had lost precious time by talking, allowing the beast to strike at the other cop and kill him. So un-fucking-professional, Brea. The monster turned the newcomers' way so she shot one bullet in its face; death avenged.

She then checked the box at her left before even making sure her coworker couldn't be saved.

The woman stared at his cadaver, «I was too late. »

Yeah, wonder why.

Not far from his corpse she discovered a small door leading to a hidden room, it contained lots of food and sweetened beverages. She opened one box but it only held some shitty jacket, «What the hell am I supposed to do with this?! _Sit on it?!_ » Brea roughly tossed it aside where it crumbled into a ball and cowered in a corner.

Now she was getting even more aggravated, knuckles with on her rifle, but it was a good thing because she was about to face Sheeva, poor dog would feel this. Aya noticed a substance on the floor atop the stairs leading to where the main action was taking place, figuring this was not slime but Bake-Her's urine. «That's the same stuff that was in the kennel…. so that means the captain also peed back there. »

Most strange.

Once Brea entered she reckoned that the boy and the chief had been standing there all this time, doing nothing. She glanced at what the dog had become, «Now that's some crazy makeover. »

Ben yelled at her, «Please, don't let her turn into a monster! »

With all her usual tact, Aya yelled back, «Way too late for that, kid! », and exterminated Sheeva right in front of his easily-horrified little boy's eyes. Three targets, one gun; one bullet, _BLAM!_ Still ever so consoling, Brea neared the child, «Bet that serves you a lesson, doesn't it. » Ben's eyes filled with water. She looked at the chief, «What's this shitty room for? It looks like it's falling apart. »

That's when someone showed up, someone everyone had stopped expecting; Daniel kneeled to his son, pretending to care like usual and also pretended to listen to whatever came out of Ben's mouth at the time.

«Uncle Bake-Her protected me! Well at least he tried, he just couldn't do it. Because he's too old, ugly and fat. SO instead aunt Brea just barged in and saved his butt. »

There was no reaction from his father as he just stood there nodding absentmindedly, so a good-natured Aya rectified Ben for him, «You shouldn't say that, kid, it's not right. Instead you say 'ass'. »

Ben nodded with stars in his eyes, «OK! », then his gaze met the inert mass that Sheeva had become, «But it's so unfair….»

The woman followed his stare, «No it isn't, that's how life is; remember that once you get injustice done to you solely because you're black. At least be thankful you're not a _black woman,_ because then you'd be crying a _lot_ more. »

The boy looked up at her for comfort, tears streaming down his face; she simply added, «Yup. » and left them there.


	4. Day 4- CONSTIPATION

**Day 4- CONSTIPATION**

 _(Conception)_

Daniel was with Aya, Warner and some other cop in the Captain's office, «So now that Bake-Her's dead I'm in charge. »

Brea lifted a hand palm up, «He isn't. »

«That means that all food available in the precinct is now mine. »

Warner decided it was a great opportunity to start kissing Daniel's butt since he wanted special favors on the food as well, «You're doin' great, boss! »

Aya eyed him, «Don't overdo it…. »

Their new boss, who was in fact not smarter than their Captain then, asked, «Why did Eve decide to attack the precinct…? »

The woman crossed her arms, « _Quite possibly_ because we're the last humans left in this city and since we're part of the police force that wants to destroy her, also because she knows I'm a cop plus the only worthy rival capable to match her powers? Fuck sake Daniel, I swear if your brain wasn't making sure to keep your important organs functioning, you'd die from stupidity.»

The officer named Cop added, «Maybe that Japanese guy knows something about it. Because, err, it's not yet clear why Eve did this….. »

Daniel nodded, «Where'd he go anyway? He's better not been hiding somewhere to eat the last pastries….! »

Warner replied, «Well since I promised Nix at the hospital that I'd settle scores with Eve….»

Aya eyed him, «And how in the fuck do you plan to do that? Just shut up I'll go look for Maeda, since we have a lab here then he's probably there. »

Their now boss scratched his ass, «Oh yeah, wonder why I didn't think of that. »

«Because you only have one brain cell. »

«K, we'll start fixing up the office then, since we can't do shit other than that. »

Brea rolled her eyes, «Well at least you'll be of some use, hold on, _you won't really_. Alright, since most of the police officers are dead then that means more profit for the precinct; now's the time to triple my pay check Daniel. », and she left.

The blonde went to the weapon's department, Wayne leaned over the counter, «Don't you worry, I'll be looking after this place for Torres. »

«As if, you're only too glad you can finally have his job; besides I know that you rub your face all over the weapons when you think no one's around. »

«…say what? »

«I've seen you do it. »

«Listen don't tell that to anyone; I'll tweak your guns for free, no permit needed! »

«I neither need you to tweak anything nor any useless permit. »

He tilted his head, «Tell you what, bring me some gun trading cards and I'll keep your secret.»

«…that is not how negotiation works; _I'm_ the one with the juicy info, not you. Here's what _you'll_ do; be sure to ask the chief for a free-distributor of chips and hide it here in a wall or something, so that whenever I get here and have to deal with your unsightly face plus burrito breath, that I'll have something to calm me down. »

«And how the hell am I supposed to convince him? »

«Not my problem. »

A small neon above the worktable died. Wayne scratched the back of his head, «So, um, let me show you my pride and joy! »

«….you had prepared that line and was waiting for me to drop by, didn't you. »

«Yeah. », he pulled his trading cards out from his boxers, «Here's the- »

«Listen I don't care about your uninteresting hobby, now if they were portraying Albert Wesker, Sephiroth, Leon S. Kennedy RE2 or RE4 version, Sherlock Holmes, Paxton Fettel, Agent 47 and so on in underwear; then yeah I'd be interested but I actually get excited by _real_ guns and not stupid cards. So put your little useless cardboards away before I rip them to pieces, step on and spit on them, then put Kraft Diner all over before lighting them on fire. »

«….hell, that was insensitive, even coming from you…. »

«Or yet if you had posters of cool badass women like Jill Valentine, Lara Croft, Jean Gray from the trilogy X-men movies, female Shepard, Motoko Kusanagi, or all the ones from Black Lagoon, or yet _ME_ and so on then I'd also like to see them; but impractical fucking cards with guns on 'em? What's the goddamn use? How about you collect real guns instead? At least you could show them to me and use them rather than keep silly cards into a shitty secret box and drool at them in your bedroom at night. I could go all stereotyped and mention you need a girlfriend but it's a therapist you require. »

«….Well, erm, go away. »

«…..K. »

As soon as the heartless woman left, Wayne's eyes tears up and he started striking his beloved cards. Later that night there would be a firearm session involving target sheets with a certain heartless officer on it.

And Burritos afterwards.

Yeah.

* * *

Brea went to the third floor to the criminal ID lab and found the scientist fiddling with a microscope again, «Touché, knew you'd be doing that, although no one should be calibrating such an apparatus for five hundred years. »

Maeda turned around, «How did you guess? »

«…You're serious? I use my brain, unlike some. »

«Well, this kind of place makes me think more clearly. »

«And I suppose having 'medicinal plants' nearby helps. »

«Hm yes, they're from Raccoon City, they only grow there; must be thanks to raccoon's droppings. »

«Aha! I knew it. », she grinned towards the female scientist who then turned around to look at the computer screen. Aya taunted some more, «Admitting defeat before such a formidable opponent, you're wiser than I thought. »

Then Daniel showed up, and after making his way around Brea into the room very slowly, he asked the scientist, «Hey, why did Eve attack the precinct? »

Brea's eardrum bled, « _ **Fucking seriously?!**_ », she hit him in the face, «More to the point, why did Eve left without introducing herself? Usually she just relishes in burning people up so why not now? Surely she must have been really eager to BBQ cops alive. »

«True true…»

Daniel placed hands on his hips, «Hey what does that mean?! »

Maeda ignored him, «It could be a distraction. », he scratched his head once more and additional flakes fell off.

Brea crossed her arms over her chest, «I'd advise against that, you're dropping DNA all over the floor. »

The scientist still ignored the fact that he was making it snow indoor, «Is there a sperm bank or a hospital that conducts artificial insemination nearby? »

«You mean the ones we could have gone to in order to have lab tech in the first place? Yep. I also had a vision about the place, it was all in red though, like a bad omen. One more reason to visit.»

«The true reason is that I don't think Eve's body will last much longer. Right now the mitochondria are just parasites in her body. She's trying to create the Ultimate Being, just like in Japan. »

Daniel scratched his crotch, «So if we can stop her from getting there, she'll die eventually! »

Brea looked away, «And by 'we', you mean me. I think a doctor at St. Francis Hospital specialized in artificial insemination… to think this simple topic is the reason this game is rated M+ with some mild suggestive themes…. »

They stared at her. She waved of her hand, «Never mind, let's go there. », the woman leveled her voice towards the female scientist, «I'm leaving now so you can go back to pretending those plants aren't weeds. »

Daniel followed her outside the lab, «What about me? »

«Well I'd flatter your ego telling you that since you're captain now you've got to look after the precinct, but the truth is I just don't need you around, like usual. I require a functional brain though, that's where Maeda comes in. », and she dashed out already relishing into driving the police car, finally! Therefore civilians were not killed that evening….. and because no one was around anyway.

Now in the car alone with Maeda, Brea asks, «That creature that was born in Japan, what happened to it? You guys didn't, eat it, did you…? »

«I'm not certain I like what your racist line implies. In any case, it died. Along with the scientist that was its father…. », he dug chopsticks in a tiny still-living octopus. The slimy victim fought vigorously for its life all the way through the man's mouth plus down his esophagus.

Brea swallowed back her vomit, «So what, you had another me on hand back then? »

«There was a rebellion. The mitochondria passed from the father didn't connect with the ones passed from Eve. It began to deteriorate and the father held onto the dissolving flesh and they died. »

«That's very heartwarming. », she sped down the road, «I'm kidding of course. »

He burped, probably a consequence to the poor octopus screaming for help while bathing in gastric juices.

«Back to business. », she parked right in front of the hospital and so they stood there.

... ... ...

After a whole minute, Aya said, «I suppose there's one logical explanation for us standing here in the cold…? »

«Well for my part, I just don't want to burst aflame; you on the other hand, I don't know what you're waiting for… »

«Oh…. », and she started advancing when he called her back, stretching an object towards her, «No, not that again, look I don't believe in those things. »

«B-but, it's a bell to keep away bad spirits. »

«I already told you we're not in a Fatal Frame game so I don't need any of this. Ok, you'll just remain there in the winter cold huh? Well good luck with that. » and she entered the lobby. There was no one around there but Aya spotted a little form at the end of the corridor in front of her, she ran towards the glass-doors and put her fists on her hips, «Now how the hell did you end up here too? Do you have a death wish or something, is that it? »

The little girl in the green hospital gown stood up and vanished, Brea blinked, «Fine but I'm not about to stupidly ask myself whether or not this was my dead sister or my own damn reflection. » she entered one of the elevators and that's when Eve started playing with her pray.

«Going down? », and cut the cables. Luckily this wasn't Von Croy's skyscraper so Aya only dropped from three floors and was fine. The woman exited the lift only to hear Eve say, «Night, night… don't let the bed bugs bite. » and killed the lights.

Brea looked at the ceiling, «Holy fucking Christ twisted in a pretzel, couldn't you work on your shitty lines?! It's as if I'm talking with Daniel here! Plus it's not like cutting the main power line is going to prevent me from using the stairs. »

The cop ran towards said stairway but was stopped by Eve as she said, «Hope you enjoy your unexciting stay because this will become your living tomb, half breed! », before somehow obliterating them to rubles, «How's that for a line? »

Aya chocked on dust, «Nice, should have kept my mouth shut about any possible means of escape. », she entered a nearby door finding herself in a storeroom, she opened a box which contained two handgun magazines so thirty bullets in total, «I will not unnecessarily dwell on the reasons why a hospital requires ammunition. »

However that was nothing compared to the Grenade Launcher she discovered in another, «OK, now that's really weird. », next she noted that the weapon was equipped with a tranquilizer dart, «Alright, maybe they shoot up problematic patients with this, but still…..a goddamn _Grenade Launcher_ , do they keep dinosaurs here or what? »

Afterwards she was assaulted by transparent blobs that spat red balls at her. Absolutely nothing her DEATH27 rifle couldn't fix.

Then something shun in her face from atop the shelf, she reached up to it finding it was a fuse, or more precisely an SP Fuse which apparently meant Special Fuse. She stared at it, «Looks regular to me, or what, can it cook meal or something? » Back in the corridor the cop met that girl once more, «Now that fucking does it, I have to ask; are you my dead sister? Then why would you be dressed in those silly clothes? You must be cold…. oh wait, nobody seems to be bothered by that in this town. What's really troubling though is that I seem to pay more attention to your attire rather than the fucked up fact that you look like my dead sister plus keep disappearing like a ghost. », then she vanished again, «I really wish you'd stop doing that, I'm starting to get jealous, I mean why can't _I_ do that? »

Brea kept investigating until she entered the mortuary where she had to fight two more blobs plus an overgrown insect which puked pools of acid. «Great, because who needs their feet nowadays. » One bullet was enough though and then she got a Cure-Puss plus Cure-Madness. The cop then noticed that there were some crimson cadavers under some cloths over near the back, she ran to them, «Excuse me, do you happen to know where the two remaining fuses are located? ». Seconds of silence irked her, «Too hard a question, is that it? Civilians, always utterly useless. »

She ran to the nearby desk and found a Medicine 3, even more irritated now she threw it the corpses' way, «Here you need this more than I do judging by your injuries and puss. ». The skeleton propped against the wall looked at her disapprovingly at that.

In one of the desk's drawer she did discover the Autopsy Key though and went to that room, now the item no longer useful she discarded it, «Wish I could do that with Maeda's good-for-nothing trinket, which in its case never proved useful in the first place. », the Autopsy Key bounced off the floor then into a wall before catching on fire plus turning to ashes. Aya eyed the gray remains, «…..fuck sake, what's going on…? », she then decided to ignore it and proceeded inside.

There were two crispy corpses on metallic tables, but also two more insects and blobs, «I always make the best acquaintances. », two bullets did the trick, she glanced the cadaver's way, «Have you seen a little ghostly girl running through here?», seconds passed, «Very rude of you not to answer my question. I mean how hard can it be? », the annoyed cop went to the next room linked to this one thus located a third victim. Aya didn't bother verbalizing anything but merely dug her fingers in the cold melted flesh reaching for the Blue Cardkey; also there was the second fuse, lodged inside the person's mouth for some reason.

Brea used the cardkey, and eyed it suspiciously before tossing it to her left but it merely fell flat on the tiled floor. She moved away and looked past the now-open doors, when something exploded behind sending her flying off into the wall ahead. Ungluing her face from the concrete she stared back, «Why in fuck's name….?! » Getting up she faced to her right, seeing her ghostly relative who was in the process of laughing at her. «Be glad you're dead so bullets can't blast apart your little fragile body! » On her left stood another box and it contained a Machine Gun, «Right, okay. Also makes sense. », afterwards she located a second stairwell but it had also been destroyed, «Can't wait to obliterate your _face Eve!_ And explode your entrails all over the place! »

Losing patience, Brea entered another room now facing a new monster, but she had no idea what it was supposed to be, «The hell are you? », it threw a gray spherical object her way and it bounced around, «And what is _that?_ » she shot it in the face then kicked the ball which burst open on the wall vomiting the last fuse. «Ew it looked as though Daniel and Bake-Her had fornicated with one of those monsters hence birthing some twisted shit like that. » Aya chased the image out of her mind and ran back to the fuse box, inserted them all in with more force than necessary then repaired the severed wire with her bare hands before turning the power back on.

It also triggered a song. Fuck yeah.

Brea took the remaining elevator back to the first floor and when the door separated she saw two little girls standing there, before running off. «….Now I'm also hallucinating myself when I was younger… perhaps I need vacation, or in fact maybe I just need to take drugs to calm me down. » The blonde ran after them through the lobby plus another door near the front desk that was now unlocked, then she took the first door on her right. After defeating another insect plus one monster that looked like an oversized squirrel or something, she located two humans standing in the back.

One was an old woman clearly suffering from back problems, her face inches apart from the floor, and the second a nurse. The patient looked at them both with crazed eyes, well at least she tried thanks to her useless back, «That was definitely my pet Squirelly turned homicidal, I'm getting out of here! », and she stumbled away awkwardly from visible pain.

The nurse called to her, «But Mrs. NoseBurry! What about your medication that cost you a fortune! »

«Fuck it! It's no use to me if I'm dead! »

«But you'll definitely die if you leave! »

«I'll take my chances-» and she got assaulted by blobs who ate her alive.

The nurse realized she was being stared at by the remaining woman, «Um, are you okay? »

«Never mind that. Where's the cafeteria? »

«…..it's off limits right now. »

«…it that right. »

«Aren't you going to ask if I'm okay? »

«No. »

«…..um well, a nurse is trapped in the other room. Could you help _her_ out? »

«If she can grant me access to the cafeteria, then yes. », Brea dashed in the next room but found no threats when suddenly someone at her left shrieked in utmost terror. Aya quickly aimed, but then blinked in wondering at the woman who was truly horrified for some reason, so much she seemed like she wanted to make one with the wall. «…what's your problem? »

«A s-spider….! It's after my life KILL IT! »

The officer eyed the woman as if she was mental until something else far more important caught her attention; she moved away from the nurse and neared two examination tables. Meanwhile the nurse choked on her saliva, stumbled forward in panic and ran off to the other room where she got killed by a real threat.

«I've seen these tables before in my hallucinations…. now I'm not so dense as to not be able to fit everything together; twin sisters, Dr. Cramp and stuff, end of unnecessary flashback that never ends. » she looked around for the nurse, «Well, so much for food. » and went back to the remaining one, «Where does the doors next to the elevators lead? »

«To the storage areas of the hospital, that's where we keep oxygen tanks and our main supply of liquid nitrogen. »

«OH! Now it's getting interesting. »

«It is? I don't even know what we use it for. »

«Really, don't you work here? Next you're going to tell me you don't know what's going on in the Basement's Basement just like Lisa Garland did? »

«…wha…..? »

«Give me the cardkey. »

«But you're not authorized-»

Aya pointed her rifle, «NOW. »

The terrified nurse handed it and Brea quickly snatched it from her hand making the other woman jolt on place, she then ran towards the door but decided to pay attention to the toppled piece of furniture near it.

Meanwhile the woman yelled, «You're too dangerous to be holding a gun, you're insane! »

«And you're just a nurse not a psychiatrist so you can't give that kind of diagnostic. », she made her way around it realizing that someone had left a stash behind it for some reason. She offered a wide smile at the 77 bars of chocolate at her feet before putting them all in her inventory, «Food problem solved. » She didn't leave yet but looked the nurse's way, «I'd give you one but you've been rude so go ahead and starve, then look forward to a painful death knowing I won't be around to protect your ass anymore. » the cop taunted by shaking one bar in front of her own face, unwrapped it and completely shoved it inside her mouth, then left.

The nurse's stomach growled, but hey, at least it'll stop soon once she's dead.

Leaving that room, Brea ran back towards the double glass door having to fight seven blobs in the lobby, however one bullet sufficed, «Crowd control. »

Meanwhile Maeda was still freezing his ass outside, looking at her fighting monsters in the warmth. He saw her fire only once then left as fast and even without glancing his way. He'd sniffle if it wasn't for the cold having frozen the liquid in his nose.

Brea used the key which opened the doors leading to another corridor, there was a box near a destroyed wall and inside a useless Bullet Cap + 1, «Fucking great, that won't change much at all, might as well just give me air. » She entered the storage area where she needed to turn the nitrogen valve off but then got surprised by the matriarch of all blobs. It was three times her size and a head taller, no matter since it'll die as easy. One bullet, 748 hit points; done for.

It gave a shitty B Vest which obviously stood for Boring Vest, she tossed it over its corpse, «Here, you needed it more than I do. Blob Vest, naturally. », then ran to the back of the small room and switched the valve off. Valtiel was nowhere to be seen however. Before exiting Aya eyed the nitrogen tanks filling the space, since she wasn't in Resident Evil 4 plus not pursued by an almost invincible Verdugo then she didn't really needed to shoot any of those; except for fun, so Brea fired her rifle at them all thus freezing the entire room then left.s

Aya boarded the elevator to the research lab on the 13th floor; in that corridor were four doors plus a crispy corpse blocking the way to one of them. Looking at it Brea wondered how human flesh tastes like, being all well-cooked and everything. She then proceeded to investigate the first room and got welcomed by two blobs and one Daniel-Bake-Her monster which she shot first seeing how it turned her stomach. It gave a Cure-M for Cure-Misogyny, «That's actually very fucking useful and many people are in dire need of that cure. I'll have it mass-produced by Umbrella. »

Inspecting the area further revealed that someone with some brain issues had pushed a medical equipment in front of a huge red button mounted on the wall, there was also a crimson arrow pointing to it and it read 'OPEN/CLOSE Door to Research Kennel'; so every time the employees wanted to go in they'd have to push that aside but then how do they get out? «What kind of goddamn waste of time illogicality bullshit is that….? »

Since there was no other way to enter that damn room then she pushed the button, inside the kennel she found a CR Evade + 1, equaling Constipated Retard Evade; can never have too much of that, especially when working with so many dumbasses. All of the animal cells were empty though, they too must have evacuated the city somehow. What was fucked up is that the kennel gave into the sperm bank area for some reason, «…I do not want to think of what this implies- Shit I just did. »

There was a tiny box on the counter and inside were little tubes with a brown matter in them, Brea picked one and turned it around in between her fingers until she could read the label. 'Animal Feces', «I didn't need to know that. », obviously for experimenting though yet again puzzling in its location near the sperm bank. She eyed the additional box resting on the floor, «I hope this won't give into more unwanted information. », it gave a Cure-Moronism, «I'll have to ask Maeda to make more of that, too. Goddamn 87% of the human race needs it. »

Brea walked to the toppled container making tubes full of spermatozoids burst under her boots, and bent near a file, a creepy tune also started, «…Um…», the file had a piece of junk on it for some reason. Once she picked it up the song stopped, apparently it had been for that item since it being there made no fucking sense. Next Aya started inspecting what the file contained, «The HLA list. Daniel's family is on it as seen on Cramp's computer; might also explain the weird-looking Daniel-Bake-Her monster. 'Mariko Brea'….my mother's record…..'December 23, 1977- taken in with Maya Brea after an accident'. »

 _Aya and Maya, mom always lacked imagination._ «'Pronounced dead after cardiac arrest', aaaaannd the next page is missing of course, how fucking convenient! So it's either somewhere or Cramp ate it, or yet was in dire need of toilet paper thus wiped his ass with it. If I was too dumb not to link all the information I gathered so far then I'd ignore the fact that everything fits together thus the plot is revealed. Again. Because it's pretty obvious. Though still doesn't explain why I keep seeing my dead sister everywhere, because that has nothing to do with flashbacks or mitochondrial powers; it enters into the section of paranormal activities. Where's Ghostbusters when you need them? »

There was another file nearby about Melissa Piss whom of course had been hospitalized on the same date thus allowing the organ transplant, consequently potentially explaining why she was overusing drugs and became so damn demented. Then the file puked the elevator key so Aya exited that room and entered the lift. Though you won't know what's inside just yet because the game takes you to some Military ship.

On the control deck the Admiral speaks into his right hand although there's nothing in it, «Fighter jets, prepare to lunch! We've got shitloads of pizzas, onion rings and Root Beers at your disposal. Afterwards, actually launch and prepare for combat then head towards Non-Central Park! NO unnecessary attacks! Although it is apparently imperative that I keep yelling into this invisible microphone! Target the enemy in the air, _duh_ , and be alert! »

The Captain standing to his right voiced his concern, «Manhattan's practically deserted! Why don't they just-! »

«Stop shouting, Lynch! We haven't received orders from the President to attack yet! »

«…Then we're fucked since he left the city by chopper an hour ago…. »

«…!»

Next there was a short but nice cut scene where a pilot took a last bite of a slice of pizza, pulled his helmet visor down, then a series of jets took off from the vessel and flew insecurely among sky-crappers and buildings. There was also a shot of the moon from below which looked awfully big as if it was just about to crash unto Earth. Well, they've got no time to deal with an incoming threat of that size for now.

Back to our lonely police officer in the elevator where an empty sperm container was found, «I don't want to imagine her— _too late_. », bet if Cramp was here he would have been _more_ than blissful to provide her with his own, the old-fashioned way. There was also a wheelchair in here but no creepy doll or Alessa in it. «Well I wouldn't be one to just inject myself with some random dude's sperm. That's gross Eve, even coming from you….», Brea pressed the button leading to the roof, « _Ew there's white stuff on it!_ », she wiped her finger all over the elevator's wall. Then she arrived on the roof, «OK Eve, come out. We've got disgusting shit to discuss. »

What showed up however was a giant spider with its abdomen curled up on its back for some reason; actually it oddly resembled an oversized brownish human brain. It threw amazingly-even webbings the human's way but Aya dodged everything; one bullet soon after, the arachnid tried to escape the torture only to realize it had nowhere to run. So the insect faced the woman once more before waving one of its large claws at her face; it did an alarming amount of zero damage. Then five bullets later and the spider still tried to escape only managing to collapse along with the ground under its massive body.

Brea might have jumped in and finish the job if not for Eve showing up, still talking and singing opera simultaneously. The cop woman walked to the mutant, «I will begin by saying this; GROSS. Was there no other way to give birth to the Ultimate Being? »

«You're a bright one! The first rebellion took place some years ago on a far off eastern island. There, my sister committed a fatal error… But since I'm so utterly badass I'm therefore higher in the evolution chain than that failure. I will never commit the same mistake. »

«So, sis; what the fuck are you doing? »

«HELL! Took you long enough, huh. »

«NO! Give her back! »

«….You want your sister's corpse back…? If I was still human I'd say that's fucked up. »

«It's not what I meant! »

«You feeble organisms depend on machines to do all the work….! Let me show you some case in point; it'll be fun. », Eve turned her back at the human and then used her powers to blow some jets off. All while singing of course. Machine and body parts rained on Manhattan; Happy Fucking X-Mas. «You've witnessed the limitations of humans. »

«Please! No more! »

«Can't stand the fireworks? You're all so weak and utterly pathetic. »

«No I mean stop fucking _singing!_ »

«What if I don't want to? It's a shame we couldn't understand each other. Now just enjoy some more pretty explosions…. », and she took off.

«What do you- oh the jet! », Aya ran towards the edge of the roof and jumped overboard on a lift there, «How convenient, apparently it was waiting for me here. », then beautiful fireworks occurred. There was a window near the lift so the spider burst it to pieces in an act of violent revenge for having lost the battle in a very shitty way, it swung it claw once more which switched the brakes off consequently the lift started free falling. Brea shared the G Force with a tiny spider, « _You shall die pretty fucking quickly!_ », blasted it dead then leaped at the brakes' lever.

However she wouldn't have it so easy, in the last seconds she noticed that the mechanism was broken so the platform collided with the sidewalk below, shattering it and every bones in her body. That's when Daniel and Maeda came running towards her, the bigger man breaking his teeth and jaw on the pavement after slipping; somehow them both being at the proper spot despite the circumstances _and yet_ being useless.

Maeda glanced at her limbs being at abnormal angles, «You okay? »

«Nothing I haven't experienced before. », she used Heal 3 and was good as new, next they got back in the car. «Frankly I thought you might have died of cold standing in the parking lot. »

The scientist shoved his glasses up his nose so much it dug right into his skin and blood poured out, «Daniel saved me. Had to use a shovel as a lever to free my feet from the ice. »

The driver glanced back, «You can study all you want but you gotta brush up on other things too, man! No girls' gonna want to be with you if you're gonna be like that! »

The woman interrupted him, «K thanks for the stereotyped view on how you perceive this world. Doesn't explain why you're here to remove my right to drive though…. I thought you couldn't leave the precinct; that was the highlight of my shitty day. »

«Well I found several things about Cramp, but… I couldn't read the files seeing I'm so retarded, so I had Warner do that. And seeing that I'm the only one who can drive around here and because we have no walkie-talkie for some reason, I just had to come. So Warner said that in the past a doctor from that hospital you just had fun and was fired for giving out a patient list. These guys have access to just about everything, unlike the police. And miss Piss was seen going into the museum late at night on several occasions! », he appeared extremely horrified.

«Well believe it or not but some individuals actually like to improve their knowledge on things; you know the ones with the intellect to do so? Or are you implying that her and Cramp were having an affair…?»

Maeda started shouting, «We NEED to go there! We MUST get there before the being is born! »

Aya glanced back, «You just say that because you want to witness the birth. »

«Yes. Problem? »

«No. But you should probably consider wiping the foam at the corner of your mouth. »

They returned to the police station but there was no sign of the previous altercations as if the Umbrealla Bioharazd Counter-measure Service had dashed through here fixing everything. Brea crossed the double door, yet finding Cathy standing in the corridor being as useless. «I heard that the Captain saved Ben's life. Sheeva was his partner when he was a rookie, they used to eat lots of hot-dogs together. I know it may appear as some freaky cannibalism for Sheeva, but…. Must've been hard for him to just stand there and cower before her. »

«His partner huh, hell it's no wonder she committed suicide. One more thing, stop spreading lies around, it's like you should have been a reporter gossiping instead of ….whatever you're doing in the workforce. Because _I'M_ the one who saved the day, again. So get your facts right. »

Entering the employee's bureau, she got welcomed by Maeda, «Oh Aya! Detective Warner has some new information. Also, there are pastries on the counter. »

«Then you better hurry up and eat some before Daniel gets here. By the way, how did you get in here before I did? Didn't even see you walk past me. »

«I uhh, breached space time continuum. »

«…You've got to teach me that someday. »

She entered the next room followed by the scientist, Daniel was already there. The orange-haired Warner began his explanation on supposedly new information, but all he did was repeat everything Daniel had already told us in the police car. I think it's safe to assume that we do not have the same definition of the word 'new'. Maeda then urged them again how imperative it was to hurry before Eve gives birth.

Aya looked his way, «Keep your pants on pal, we'll get there. »

Warner laid his right hand on his hip, «I'll go snoop around some more for any info. »

Brea eyed him, «Please don't, it's not like we'll require the same information for the third time. »

He walked out slowly.

Daniel pulled objects from his butt crack, «Brought you a walkie-talkie so we can keep in touch. »

«Great. Why in the fuck didn't anyone thought about that _way sooner_? It's not like those devices have been merely invented yesterday. »

«Well we simply didn't have the cash for it, Bake-Her was wasting so much in food deliveries and such, you have no idea…. », he also handed one to Maeda, «I'm counting on you too, Mr. Awkward. »

«Of course you are, this mission requires brains. »

Daniel turned to Aya, «We'll all split up and look for Eve. You find any trace of her, you call for backup. »

«And what good would that do….? You'd all burn anyway. »

«We'll figure something out. »

«When have you ever done that? »

«….Just get outta here you're ruining my perfect brown suit. »

«That doesn't even make sense. »

« _JUST_ _ **leave**_ _._ »


	5. Day 5- CONVOLUTION

**Day 5 - CONVOLUTION**

 _(Evolution)_

Officer Aya Brea went to investigate some random warehouse, because it's not like the city was in dire need of saving or anything. When she arrived she found a cop and his dog waiting by the entrance fence.

She eyed the canine, «I hope for your sake that your furred partner doesn't evolve while you're around it. And if it does, well, you're already fucked. »

The man threw his donut and pastry-magazine away, «Ah…uh…. Eve is in there. I didn't see her, I just uhh…. am pissing myself. So why don't you check it out, huh….? », he started running away really slowly, because that's possible in a PE game, «I'll….go call for some backup, okay? Because we don't have walkie-talkies…So YOU go check it out! _I'll_ go change underwear, and feed my dog before she turns on me. » Aya blinked at him, then he came back half way, «Elle! C'mon, we're getting' outta here! _Like right fucking now!_ », and with a lot of noise made by weird soil, they were gone.

Brea turned around, opened a box laid on the ground which contained a PKK for Player-Killer Killer; Haseo would have liked that pistol. As for her, she just used her Super Tool and removed some of its stats thus boosting her rifle some more, then moved towards the warehouse's main door while humming the NYPD station's theme.

Welcome to the Warehouse of Hell, you'll never leave here.

Unless your level is high enough then you have a chance of investigating this level, _and_ leave alive.

Inside, Brea opened a bigger box containing a vest, its description read 'HI Defense & Strong Against S.A.', named the Cm Protector, «'Come On Protector', equipped with auto-heal, high defense and strong against essay? Looks like this is a garment perfect for college students. Yu Narukami could use this. », there was nothing to do with this but remove the stats and discard it. When she did it melted away and dropped an eraser.

Further within she witnessed a larger creature running after a tiny rat, the first seemed to be a mutated cat. However half way through, the rat faced its pursuer and grew bigger now bearing its long fang at the feline; the cat shat on the floor and took off, now the gray victor turned its attention to the newcomer. «One to zero for the rodent race! », she dodged balls of fire and sent the rat to purgatory. Suffice to say it didn't savor its victory for long.

Near the back of the place stood an additional box, there was a gun inside which seemed to be equipped with a ketchup bottle. «Well that's no use unless I have to shoot at mutated fries. »

Fighting spiders and rats within, the offcier eventually located a vertical opening in the floor, she jumped on the cables and started to make her way down but since they were well-lubricated her hands slipped; down she went fast, breaking both legs below. Mitochondrial powers fixed that, then she was ambushed by a big mutant crab. I don't know, maybe there was a beach nearby or this warehouse used crustaceans for some reason. It soon didn't matter once the monster's eye removed from its sockets and hovered above its head before shooting lasers out. It severed her arm off, «You piece of shit…. », so she aimed at its pliers and shot both off.

The creature was about spitting deadly bubbles from its mouth when it received a bullet through it, which ended its existence. «Take _that._ »Putrid crab flesh though, what a waste of food. She glanced around localizing an apparatus that was blowing out steam; something near it shun however one closer look revealed it to be a useless Tool. «Not going to melt my flesh off for that. »

* * *

Next destination was colorful Chinatown, there she fought more cats and snakes, «Tsk, look at how this place turned out without the locals here to eat them all. »

So stereotyped, I had to write that, don't sue me I don't have money. That's why I actually have to eat felines and reptiles….

On her way, Aya located food in boxes such as egg-rolls and rice balls stuffed with sweet beans, «Well at least this district is hospitable. », one box also gave a grenade launcher equipped with a mustard dispenser, «The shit people create…. ». At the end of that stony passage she found Maeda waiting near a manhole, I don't know maybe he likes the smell. There was also a suspicious yellow stain right where he stood….

The cop frowned, «How did you get here….? »

«I teleported myself this time. »

«Awfully practical. », then he offered her another Japanese talisman which she ignored, «Except for that. »

«B-but-»

«Listen, I appreciate your brain-collaboration and the fact that you're not a moronic Alpha male full of goddamn testosterones, but these? Absolutely worthless, so just stop that crap.»

«No, I swear it's not-»

«Maeda? »

«Y-yes? »

«Don't make me shoot you. »

«…..OK. »

«So what have we got? »

«Smell of human dejections.»

She glanced around, « _Yyeeesss_ ….? Apart from that? »

Then he kneeled and dug an index in the slime, «Looks like rotten meat…. »

«Considering people's flesh has melted off them; then yeah I'd say you're on the right track…. », or he had really peed there and was pretending this was slime, in such a case then his urine looks like rotten meat and that's just not right….. at all. He should calibrate a microscope and have a serious look at that. Hell Garrus Vakarian would _really_ love to calibrate that lab equipment too.

Aya stared in the hole, «So, let's prepare mentally for what is coming next…. »

«Careful now! », and he put a bit of distance between the stench and himself, though not a lot even though there was enough space to do so, which again implies that he might appreciate the odor. Now he merely stared at her.

Brea put a foot on the first bar, then the slime ensured that her descend was swift and painful. The fetid liquid she then spat as she removed her face from it reminded her of that Chinese sauce they put on their meal, «…Wish I didn't know that. Should have ordered pizza instead back then…..», being all wet and gross she then battled evil bats and snakes once more, sometimes she'd encounter frogs as well.

The attack of the bats consisted of tossing a pair of sunglasses over your eyes to blind you in the darkness, they're cunning creatures; thus they'd drop Cure-Dicks for being such assholes though outbalancing their plans of assault. During her investigation in there, Aya located dead squad members of the UMBC; wrong sewers guys. Wrong part of town, _wrong city._ WRONG GAME.

However, there were no Silent Hill characters or Paxton Fettel or yet Batman; or any other goddamn games I can think of presently that had me investigating sewers because that's more of a recurrent theme-level than most people would know. Not even mentioning movies, alright moving on.

Suddenly Maeda came through the talkie-walkie, «I once named my dog ginger; she was entirely black. »

«That's great, now can I just go back on clearly more imperative matters? »

Having reached the end of those all-similar tunnels, she whistled the victorious theme that plays after each Final Fantasy VIII's battles, yes, there was a sewer-level in that one too. And Radiata Stories, and… fuck it, you just don't realize how many. Next Brea ascended a very long and large ladder; two hours later she ran on a slimy catwalk and as she glanced around at all the goo on the walls, realized that someone must have suffered hell. «Unholy _shit,_ that was some gruesome intense diarrhea…. whoever it was I sympathize. »

... «... Unless it's Torres'. » So, so cold Brea. Really look at the size of these painted walls, catwalks and floor! I truly wonder how Torres survived being emptied so much like that...

Then further she got reunited with old acquaintances, «Oh, hello. Looks like this is the audience from Non-Central Park.», because she could so easily recognize them in all that orange slime, fucking obviously. Having greeted the goo, it started falling into the water tank below into a huge ball and it swelled up coming her way now on the catwalk, only to melt down once more before disappearing in the reservoir. «…Ehh, doesn't like they know what they're doing…. »

Fortunately Manhattan has been emptied so no one would drink that crap. Well you know how some people are stupid, seeing that shit coming out of their faucet they'd still have drank it; then sued the water treatment plant for their fucking stupidity. Unintelligent individuals always have to point the fingers somewhere else, as if it wasn't their own job to use their fucking brains in the first place.

Brea glanced over to the author, «You finished? Because you're not the one who's all wet and has to breathe this crap. »

Still, weird how there's this sound of lapping water all around and yet the surface is unmoving, must be going through the invisible pipes.

Being done there she exited and ended on subway tracks, another recurrent level; there was also a cool song playing which motivated her to keep investigating despite her wet smelly self. Searching through boxes she found one newspaper that mentioned an accident in which someone had fallen unto the tracks and died, presumably their spirit was now haunting these tunnels in search of a blonde teenager to push off the edge of Hazel-St subway station.

Well it looks like this is a job for the Ghostbusters or yet Raziel, not her.

Her adventure soon led the cop to fight a boss centipede although Billy Coen wasn't there to help her, not like she needed the backup anyway. The insect leveled its body and shot upward multiple purple balls out of its mouth, Brea just stood there as it did no damage whatsoever, «Alright it's just you and I!»,she shot it and it separated in many other pieces which now revolved around her, «OK then, me and your many portions. », it was no problem though.

Exiting one tunnel, the Terminator-woman reached a bridge, looking over at the city she noticed that the slime was going towards the museum. That means many of the cool stuff kept there would likely come to life, «Ohh, this is going to be sooo good. »

«….Would you mind….? »

Frowning, Brea looked down to her right, now realizing there was an officer laying there, and that she'd been stepping on his scrotum. «Weird spot for a nap. »

«…I'm, injured. Dumbass…. »

«Oh. I'll leave you right to it then. », and left him to die.

Heartless blonde was making her way back inside when it suddenly got dark and a godly voice told her to switch discs. After nearly peeing herself, she tried to open the gates leading to the outside but it told her she needed a key, «Like hell I do. » and shot the padlock off.

Aya then appeared at the museum, «Here I come dinosaurs! 3 » Once inside, the cop spotted Cramp that was watching her through a half-closed door. She eyed him, «I see you.», making him vanish.

Before playing a game of hide and seek with the scientist, Brea went to the reception desk to verify if her signature-joke was still in the log book; she then added next to her name 'Has battled with a T-Rex'. Afterward she pursued Cramp but since he had the dinosaurs on his side it made it easier for him to run ahead, so he just locked the door and left her to deal with the museum's live attractions. Right then a song started playing, no doubt Cramp was responsible for that too, how considerate of him to entertain her further. Now she could wander around looking at the artifacts for free, the place all to herself all while battling awesome creatures; plus she was being paid for doing that. «The only way it can get better than this is if they start dropping food. »

Suffice to say the woman remained there leveling up for eternity.

Aya made her way around the simple lock, ran through the front hall once more then ended in The Pain Forest where a machine asked her how many retarded animals were hiding in the foliage. Brea, not having touched anything in the first place, glanced down to her right at it, «…Do I look like I give a shit? », the device produced a negative sound and the cop went ahead.

In an adjacent area stood a giant scorpion barred her way so Aya taunted it, «Obviously you're bored and want me to end your existence; why else would you be so stupidly standing before me. » One Energy Shot and 1080HP later, it was over. Brea was dizzy and vomited; there, one more proof she was here. She had now reached the door Cramp had locked two minutes ago, «Making me lose time in a detour, usually that wouldn't be OK with me but seeing I'm in a museum, then it can be forgiven. »

Next she faced more little green reptiles that jumped around a lot, too bad since no amount of leaping would help them survive the badass woman they were mad enough to challenge. Seriously though, there's going to be a lot of cleaning to do once she's done leveling up.

Then she ran into another portion where big stony heads stared at her, «I'm feeling somewhat uncomfortable….Can't really pinpoint why. », until the whole place started shaking, «What was-» and three insects fell on her almost breaking her back, two of them departed but one kept spinning on her face. «OW - _STOP!_ » Eventually she grabbed and hurled it away, only to have the two others rolling over her back making her face slam on the floor. She sprung on her feet and leapt at the closest bug, tried to get a hold of some of its thin limbs but the creature started spinning away while clutched unto her.

This could have gone on for too long if she hadn't used her Energy Shot which blasted out of her chest completely obliterating the insect. The two remaining bugs then shot glances between themselves, squeaking something that could be interpreted as '… _fuck_ ', then one bullet killed them both. Brea tapped dust off her clothes, «Where are the giant toads when you need them? »

The woman went up the stairs now facing another machine, seeing the human it immediately asked ' _The mitochondria creates ATP- adenosine triphosphate- within the cell. How much energy is this equivalent to?'_

«Eumm…»

Cramp's voice came over some speakers, «It's easy! I told you the answer to that in my lab the first time you came over, _not_ the second time when you actually broke in and had that other man fiddle with my very-expensive microscope! »

«Why don't you come here so we can discuss this face to face? By that I mean you and my rifle. »

His scientist mind couldn't resist spitting it out, «It's 2000,000 V per cubic cm! Wasn't so hard, was it?! », the machine puked a Tool, «Keep your unworthy hands off it, you don't deserve that. »

«True. » and she blasted the device.

A gasp of horror erupted from the speakers, «What did science ever do to you?! », and it went silent again.

A portion of the second floor gave into an external exit, going up the ladder she found a box with a rocket in it, «Could be useful if not for the fact that the Rocket Launcher isn't worth shit compared to all I own. » hence it was tossed over the handrail and exploded upon contact with the ground, blowing up an underground canal thus flooding the street with human dejections.

This will not improve the looks of the city once all this is over.

Our regret-free officer entered the door giving into that 3rd floor, now having to fight one more of those blue dinosaurs whose tail was always moving showing how impatient it was to play. Once over, the cop eyed the glass at her left portraying a family of three, skeletons seated on couches and a bone-baby playing with balls on the floor. «My kind of family, silent and unmoving. »

The machine close to it beeped, " _By taking mitochondria- which uses oxygen as its nutritional source- into the body and living with it symbiotically, the bacteria has acquired a tremendous amount of energy. What was the consequence?:_

 _Humans blowing up_

 _Inflated ego_

 _Annoying commercials"_

« _Shut up!_ I just want to enjoy doing my job! »

The speakers came live, «For sweet science's sake! It's aging, _AGING!_ », something was heard breaking like costly materials thrown at a wall.

«It wasn't even part of the answers! »

«It _doesn't have to_ when you know what the hell you're doing! »

«…That doesn't even make sense! »

«Oh _stop_ coming up with lame excuses to justify your notable failures! », and silence.

«…. _wha…?_ I swear when I find him...», she violently reloaded her rifle by swiftly shoving 77 bullets in there, and when she was done through the fast repetitive motions, her elbow was bleeding through the hole it had dug in her leather jacket.

Right in the next room stood statues meant to represent how the Homo Neanderthals have evolved into Homo Sapiens Sapiens; from a monkey-like hairy beast, to a mostly-hairless monster. «Considering that most of this shitty race are less clever than an actually monkey, then this is inaccurate. »

She ran past the question device and it activated, almost giving her an heart attack since she hadn't seen it, _"In 1987, Cann & Wilson released a theory stating that humans were derived from Mitochondria Eve. Which organism is thought to be Mitochondria Eve?_

 _A bag of chips_

 _Some Christmas present_

 _A special snowflake_ _"_

Someone had drawn a line over the last answer replacing it with, 'A BADASS ORGANELLE'

«Must be Eve's doing…. »

The speakers emitted static, «It all dates back to an African female, of course! Officer Brea, you really should learn more about EVERYTHING. How else are you going to find a suitable man in all the dumb masses? »

«Are you proposing…? »

«You're not my type. »

«Figures, since I don't set people aflame. »

«This discussion is over. I don't have to debate over my personal preferences with anyone. »

She then got assaulted by three jumping dinosaurs leaping at her from all directions, «For fuck-», she lost balance but still blasted them into reptile bites.

«Having witnessed your battle, I'd also point out that you need some more training in how to defeat dinosaurs. »

«They didn't particularly teach that at police academy; the training is _now._ »

«Excuses, excuses…. »

Brea shot a glare upward, «Moreover…», and obliterated the speaker plus camera, she could then enjoy the scenery in peace, for now.

She approached another large model representing a mitochondria, when a green Pterodactyl flew through a window and tried to eat her alive; it also roared like a black panther for some reason. «Haven't made that many friends in ages. » Its head performed a 160° before it could spit blue sparks out of its horn, and when it died it dropped a card portraying the Air Screamer in Silent Hill 1.

The woman went through more corridors decimating additional dinosaurs, when the speakers came on again, «Are you enjoying killing creatures that have been instinct for ages and now have merely been brought back to life? I didn't think you were that cruel. »

«Oh you have no idea how brutal I can be, me bashing you on the head on our first meeting was but a prelude. », and she just continued on in another area.

«Refrain from lying, the possibility of you being a tad appealing makes some dormant portion of me react. »

Brea entered a small room when suddenly the door locked behind her despite no one following her, «The huge area back there had no place for anyone to hide, so it means this door just locked by itself. That of Cramp is invisible; I don't know which is worse. »

Because of that she had to climb out through the broken window her flying friend had created earlier, thus ended on a precarious edge giving into the room where the T-Rex's skeleton was. «If I slip….it won't be a big deal. », she kept lying to herself like that as she made her way below by means defying logicality, up to the next window which had also been shattered. Getting in she saw a Pterodactyl skeleton hanged from the ceiling thus followed another battle with its kind, while the bones above stared and bet on its relative.

Getting rid of it she exited and ran towards Cramp's lab but the door was locked, she banged on it «Open up! I know you're in there getting all horny about Eve! », on second thought, if he was then she didn't want to see that.

As she still explored every corners of this place, the walkie-talkie came on, «Hey, I just recalled. », Maeda was head heavily masticating while he ate something that sounded really fucking delicious, «What kind of Japanese anime do you like? I'm crazy over Excel Saga nowadays; that anime is PURE GOLD! »

The woman swiftly killed nearby enemies alerted by this, «Yeah OK, we'll talk about that later once I'm out, _if_ you don't get me killed. »

«What do you- », but she cut him off, now picking up the coin that one of them monsters was going to use in the vending machine.

Drinking a soda, she ended in that area with a Museum Shop in the shape of a tent, and near it a Christmas tree. She grabbed it and tore it to pieces, «It ruined the scenery. »

«That's one thing we agree on. »

«Then why did you leave it there? »

«I have more important things to do than patrol this museum and destroy those useless objects; _I am a scientist!_ »

Two more jumpers showed up and Aya bashed her Club5 at their faces but still got no items. «Wasn't doing it for that. », she kept hitting their inert bodies afterwards out of frustration.

Her panting was interrupted by the voice again, «Plus one point in Spirit for getting rid of that awful tree, and one in Perseverance for beating the life out of these little creatures that were quite weaker than you. »

«This isn't one of your freakish experiments! »

«It is actually, I'm taking notes. Besides you've been part of my experiments before, remember; I'm merely continuing it. »

«You're fucked up. »

«Thank you. », then some fast typing on a keyboard was heard, followed by something like a key being ejected as it broke. «Not again! »

«That's fucking annoying. »

«Hm? Oh! Microphone's still on; won't happen again since I rarely make the same mistake twice due to being a scientist. By the way, don't even think of stealing from the museum shop; _I am watching you._ »

«Bullshit you're still typing at a horribly fast pace. »

«I can do many things at once, I'm not stupid! », and it went silent.

Brea made her way through a long passage before arriving at a large area with a red carpet covering the floor, there was also another jolly tree in the corner; however she ignored it as for she wanted to annoy the scientist.

Right after she ran past it the voice came to point it out, «Minus three points. »

«Ah go to hell! » and she shot the poor unharmed tree, also destroying the wall behind it.

«This of course will be added to the renovation bill I'll send to the NYPD; whether you get out of here alive or not doesn't enter into that equation. »

«Alright then how about this; I and you in your lab plus my rifle directed on your balls minus you being defenseless multiplied by my fist in your face: now do the maths! »

«Hahaha, I like your courage; though there's one little flaw, I won't be unarmed. »

«Going to attack me with a scalpel? »

«….Why yes, how did you guess…? »

«I'm not stupid either; what else could you have in that lab that can be potentially harmful but that. »

«Bacteria. », and off he was to destroy more of his keyboard.

Right afterward, Brea entered the control room. She looked through it but Cramp was nowhere in sight, «Strange, I had expected to find him here seated at the controls. »

That's when he leaped out from underneath a desk from her left, throwing the phone at her face, «Maybe you'd like to save your progress.», and sprinted out as the cop stumbled back hitting her head on the big machines lining the right side. Since Cramp was abnormally fast, and apparently invisible, then there was no point in running after him. Brea stood up and looked around, «So where's that goddamn switch for the alarm. », she located and deactivated it, then something on the screens got her attention. Aya saw Eve resting in a room, having yet mutated and now nursing her round belly; and seeing how the camera was zoomed in then Cramp must have kept a _very attentive_ eye on her naked form.

«Sooo…..where's that room? »

Eve's voice came from the monitor, «I'm on the fourth floor; come and play. »

«Oh. Alright. »

Opening a box nearby gave her a gun that shot seven bullets at once, «I dislike those, who would want to waste so many damn bullets? That gun wouldn't be fit for survival scenarios where ammunitions are scarce. »

Suddenly Eve started singing which annoyed the T-Rex, but seeing it was dead and had no ligaments then it couldn't do shit; until she sent her slime to take over. The orange goo went up the skeleton reviving it in a cool way, thus ready to kill some more like in the good old days; then the Tyrannosaurus-Rex growled with lungs it did not have. Although its roar could have been more powerful than that, similar to in Jurassic Park; I still can never get enough of it even if it's human-made because we have no fucking idea how the dinosaurs actually sounded.

«Well fuckity-yeah! _Bring it!_ », pumped, she jumped down to the colossal foe. After gluing herself together Brea realized she had suffered a tremendous amount of pain for absolutely nothing since the T-Rex was nowhere to be found. She stared at the slime, «So…where the fuck did it go?! There isn't many place where a goddamn dinosaur this size can hide…! »

Furious, the cop ran past where she had faced the scorpion, now free of any threats the machine deemed it OK to activate, _"What was the nutritional source of the first organism that lived 3.9 billion years ago?_

 _Oxygen from the ocean_

 _Nitrogen oxides from volcanoes_

 _Self-conducted photosynthesis_

 _Salt & vinegar chips_

 _Cannibalism"_

«I'll go with volcanoes. », the machine made a positive noise; however all it gave as reward was a dry marshmallow.

«You cheated. »

«How is that cheating, I pressed one of the answers! », she violently stomped the useless prize, «Besides it's more than about time you shut up, we've got a T-Rex on the loose. »

«Yes indeed, hurry it up so I can film its performance. »

«I would if it didn't fucking magically disappear somewhere! »

Going back up the stairs she realized that the door to the lab was open so she barged in, but only found Maeda. «What the hell are you doing, you want to die?! »

«There was something I really needed to test….it didn't matter if I burned but at least I would have verified my hypothesis. »

«So what is it this time, you used a black hole and the string theory in order to get here? »

«Mm, would have liked to but no, Daniel came with me part of the way. But he remained near the snack machine on the first floor. Anyway I had Wayne build a gun for you at the station. I believe it'll have some effects on Eve and the creatures she controls. How I know that is yet irrelevant as for I can't reveal that due to the plot line. », he handed her a tiny gun equipped with a blue shirt and glasses just like his.

«Fine I'll keep it but it better prove useful other than taking space in my inventory. »

«So I came across some findings, first of all there was blood serum with Maya's name labeled on it in the freezer; along with quite an impressive amount of Danish stashed in a secret compartment at the back.»

«I hope Daniel doesn't know. »

«Correct, I've put the pastries in my back pocket, we can savor those later. »

«Good job. »

«Now back to that blood serum, the research code for it was called EVE, it appears to have been made up of liver cells. He was culturing them in the past. I'd tell you what for if there was any data left. PC also confirmed that he also played a lot at chess games, that data is still intact; I wouldn't confront him through a chess board. »

«It's fine since I plan on confronting him in his face. »

«It seems Dr. Cramp has been culturing them for years. His patience and lack of social life may even surpass mine. Recently, it appears he was conducting research on artificial sperm, for Eve, of course. He wanted to exclude the mitochondria from the sperm and create new sperm. Sperm with no parasites…. sperm with only the nucleus…. Despite my monologue right now mainly about sperm, I really do not enjoy repeating the 'S' word that much, just so we're clear. SO _sperm_ without the mitochondria. He took the sperm that he created here and moved it to the hospital. Goddamn I really wish this text contained less of that word, I do. There, he would artificially inseminate those who would volunteer for the experiment. »

«What was that HLA list for? Don't tell me it has to do with sp-», as if sensing her back burning from someone trying to forge his way through with his eyes alone, Aya whipped around finding the professor frowning at them. «So you finally show yourself; ready for my mathematical equation? »

«You ordinary beings will never, NEVER comprehend MY level of research…. Took me years and I barely understand it myself. »

The woman leveled her rifle, «Freeze or you'll be under duress! »

«Don't you mean 'arrest'? »

«We're way past beyond that point. »

«Hahahaha…. You are pathetic, Brea! Why put yourself in the human domain by reciting meaningless laws…. They're MEANINGLESS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! »

Maeda's and Aya's eardrums bled, «Yes, I do. »

Cramp started advancing towards them, Brea stepped back only to walk on Maeda's toes; the scientist thinned his lips, «I'm pretending this does not hurt, but your full inventory isn't helping…. »

Cramp laughed again, «I guess you haven't told your little friends, yet…»

«That's because I don't have any. »

He stopped near her, «Your mitochondria….has special powers, doesn't IT…. Aya…? »

«Yeah, but _you're_ really savoring that, aren't you. I can tell from the dribble. », the professor laughed once more, Brea grimaced «Alright that's becoming ridiculous now. »

«But sadly…you still have the form of a feeble filthy human being, don't you? »

«Is that a rhetoric question or do you need glasses…? Well since we're way past the presentations, it's time to start the 'duress' segment of this equation. »

«I'm not letting you interfere with Eve, you HEAR?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! »

«THAT'S IT YOU'RE GONNA FEEL IT! »

Cramp lunged at her with the scalpel but she poked him in the eyes before head butting him, his pig-headed skull was as hard as hers so she almost also managed to knock herself unconscious. «Phew, making a mental note never to head butt a scientist/professor again. Dangerous. »

Daniel showed up, mouth and fingers greasy with food crumbs, «I heard a whole lot of shouting. », then spotted Cramp, «Oh that explains it. Did you kill him…?»

«No.»

«Why not…? »

«What for? »

«Just because of who he is. A dangerous psychopath professor! »

«Is he? »

Cramp was regaining consciousness, probably that the odor emanating from Daniel helped refocusing his senses, «Ugh….can't be, beaten by thicker cranium than mine…. and now sprawled on my lab's floor right in front of lesser intellects…. », he got up and sat on his chair, his forehead swollen. «Primate Number One to the rescue, eh…? What am I saying, you're obviously worthless. As a scientist, I wonder how it is that your cells didn't commit suicide yet; truly is a confusing mystery. So, why didn't YOU shoot me? You clearly want to, as your temper tantrums testified, or is it that you can't aim from this close? »

«I just-»

«I know you hate me; actually no one loves me, it is a fact that I've published in one of my researches. Sold like warm buns, individuals all over the globe crying for my attention then testifying I understood them; the masses are so utterly stupid. »

«Whaddya wanna say, huh?! »

«….What do _YOU_ want to say? I barely can understand your inarticulate gibberish! »

«You almost killed Loraine! NO ONE but ME was supposed to kill her! »

«Hmm…. I see you're not crying over your boy's demise so I see he managed to escape…. One more fleeing guinea pig…»

«You! I should've killed you WAY BACK! »

«Sorry I'm not sure your threat upon my life is clear enough; could you repeat that in this recorder so I can drop it as evidence of your unprofessionalism later at the NYPD? »

«I'll! I'll just-»

«Hahahaha…. we'll see…. we'll see. »

Aya stared at Cramp, «Yeah? Could you be less explicit…? »

«You'll LOVE THIS! »

«Not as much as you do, I'm sure…. »

«I'm waiting for the birth of the Ultimate Being…. »

Maeda shoved his glasses all the way through his skull and beyond, «So do I! I brought my camera with me! »

Cramp glared his way once, «Shut up you. There can be only one hyper scientist in this lab, and it's _my lab._ », then back on Brea, «The mitochondria is passed on from the mother, but you see, traces from the father can also be found in minute quantities. According to Eve, her sister in Japan was unable to attain her ultimate goal because the father's side of the mitochondria caused a rebellion. For Eve to succeed this time, I created sperm without male mitochondria DNA. Because I AM THAT GOOD. The creation was a success, _obviously._ Eve is now pregnant with Melissa's body, _obviously again._ »

«I could appear shocked right now, but I knew she stole the sperm and saw her earlier with a round stomach. »

Daniel then gasped, «She's PREGNANT?! We totally couldn't expect that! How did she _cum_ to get her hands on the sperm?! »

Maeda glanced between him and the wall a couple of times.

Cramp fumbled around in his right ear and flicked its content towards Daniel, the wax stuck to the man's jacket but went unnoticed thanks to being of the same shitty color. «You humans are so weak…so stupid….so goddamn RETARDED! It makes me want to burn alive right here and now. », he stood up, «You may have been able to barge in here and do things YOUR way until now, BUT things are going to change, although my eyes and mental sanity improved a bit thanks to officer Brea having taking care of some appalling ''decorations''. I won't let you interfere with Eve any more… her and I have a special _something._ It's MY sperm I gave her! And a lot of it, suffice to say I had no problem into providing with many samples just by thinking about her. »

Aya eyed him, «K but did we really need to know that…? »

«Eve, can you hear me? You don't have to wait any more, I'm ready…. », he lifted his arms up, « _Take my body_ I've been waiting for this day to COME! »

«Um guys, Eve's going to blow this whole place up, so if you want to live, now's the time to run. Just a thought. Your choice. »

Both men jumped out a window as Cramp burst on flames, he fell to the ground and just merely talked to the woman while still burning, «I see, your mitochondrial power doesn't allow you to burn…. It would have been good to know that LITTLE DETAIL before I chose to sacrifice myself to scorching agonizing fire! …..Why…? Why stay here and try to save me…..? Oh, I see, you must be after my secret stash of sweets…..well I won't tell you where it is…. The secret WILL die with me. »

«First of all, Maeda has already located it so I don't need you for that. Second, who says I stayed to save you? I'm only watching you as you're dying. »

«…hahaha…yes, I should have known. Like I kept reminding you endlessly, _you ARE stupidly PATHETIC….._ Enjoy my Danish, you useless half-breed…. give my body to the science and donate my brains to the hospital; they really could use it. », then a key came out of his melting skin when he died.

Aya still stared, «…Interesting how the carpet doesn't catch on fire though... », then she suddenly recalled, «So this entire time the T-Rex was doing what, exactly…? »

Cramp did not reply. He was still burning though. So peacefully melting and all, his goatee still intact.

* * *

Stepping in a previously locked room now aided by Cramp's key, Brea got welcomed by a Triceratop , it marched off its platform and faced her. It was slow on its feet and the blue sparks emanating from its horns did zero damage, three bullets obliterated its head and now only a bloody stump remained. Now headless like that consequently blind, the creature decided it was the best moment to start running around; the woman defeated it and the carcass vanished….. but when she tried to open a door it inexplicably came back charging at her thus sending them both through the large window at their right.

It apparently had desired to commit suicide right after being killed, now _that's_ depression.

The woman unglued her face from the floor, however her eyeballs remained stuck _in_ the ground so she had to use a knife to remove them from it, then pushed them back in her orbits. «Uurgh….it exploded all over me…. wait, my body's burning up. HOLY SHIT IT HURTS! »

The ruckus attracted the T-Rex who inexplicably was on the second floor now; it approached the edge and placed its right paw on the border before filling the museum with his roar. Still doesn't beat the one from Jurassic Park, doesn't induce hair-rising from pure awesomeness. Next it jumped down landing right on the woman instantly killing her, fortunately she was equipped with some Revive so everything was fine. A cool boss tune started and Aya watched as the T-Rex moved about, well she would have to break her state of awe soon else she'd die again.

The Tyrannosaurus-Rex stood on its rear legs straighter than its usual posture, a ball of fire forming in its jaws; then it bent and spread that orange beam around itself. However deadly the fiery breath looked, it couldn't do a thing against Brea's vest VOID. The zeros came coming out of her head as she merely blinked, «Come on Rex! Come and play! », she whistled. «Go fetch! », she threw a useless medicine away. In response the dinosaur rammed its meat-tail at her, breaking her spinal column.

Again, nothing mitochondrial power can't heal, «Urgh, guess you didn't like that huh. » Faced with such a big foe, Aya decided to try to Liberate her power some more; it did so little damage that she vowed not to waste one turn on that again. «Hell I'd do more damage if I sneeze at you! », her rifle and Energy Shot were still the only useful tactics. Next she tried using her Club5 to tickle the T-Rex although she did retrieve a Tool.

«What were you planning to use that on? »

The creature's answer was to spit more friendly fire. «OK enough fucking around, it's actually getting hot in here, the walls and glasses are melting. », she used Energy Shot thus 1318HP later the foe vanished. It dropped a fossilized Nanosaurus-Rex…..

* * *

Unlocking another door, a fourth device activated, _"25 million years ago, oxygen increased in the air. Why?_

 _Too much bacteria partying_

 _Photosynthesis by bacteria_

 _Halle Berry dropped a meteor_

 _Reaction between gas and H2O due to bacterial farting_

 _I give up, come and kill me"_

«Ummm…. »

But her brain wouldn't explode from that since big tremors occurred, shaking the entire museum thus damaging the important bones some more, as if Aya had not ruined them all enough as it were. «That sounded interesting, Eve's intensifying the party. Well time to leave here anyway, this museum song is starting to get on my nerves after two goddamn weeks of hearing it. », she took the slimy stairs at her left which led her to an entire floor soaked with it. «I'm actually stepping ankle-height in human remains. That's also interesting. »

Crossing the next door reunited her with the pregnant Eve, and of course she was fucking singing. Brea aimed her handgun, «Are you even aware that this opera makes me itch to pull the trigger some more...? »

Eve slowly leveled her eyes on the cop before placing an index in front of her lips, «Shh...»; she had also used her remaining five hands giving her the middle fingers, now smirking. «So...the _human woman_ who still can't surpass her weakness made it this far... and I see you didn't even bring cake to congratulate me on this birth. That's awfully rude. »

«I had cake; it's just that I ate it. »

Eve didn't respond instead lifted her left purple hand towards the wall, summoning a tall slime creation from the sewers right in front of the museum's entrance. The lids shook before exploding upward as columns of slimes burst from the manholes, regrouping into her new creation. Slowly, it made a few steps, leaving bits of slime behind with each steps. It also left footmarks within the asphalt and destroyed street lamps; the bill for damages keeps rising... until it rammed one of its gooey fist through the wall on the fourth floor in order to pick up Eve. Brea merely watched; what else could she do, throw rubbles at it?

She approached the hole, «Always so goddamn almighty but also constantly running away!», Aya exited the museum through the front door thus got reunited with the two men. Maeda was scratching away at one step with a scalpel, maybe hoping to unearth some rare vestiges; Daniel was standing around being as worthless as ever and said, «Did you see that ugly mama?! »

Brea narrowed her brows and thinned her lips, ignoring him and any more blabber that came out of this hole from in between his mustache resembling pubic hair. Having to deal with dinosaurs and evil organism, she recalled that show she'd been watching; The X-Films with Murder and Scurry. «I know the truth is out there...in a bag of chips. Goody potatoes are good, they don't talk, they don't lie, judge or criticize; always willing to sacrifice themselves to satisfy your cravings. They're true friends and I can always count on them to be crispy delicious in my mouth. I slept with one bag once but it must not have appreciated me hugging it since it popped open loud, puking its insides out all over me; it was horrible, its remains were everywhere...a terrible sight in the night. »

Wondering where the hell that came from, the scientist scratched the back of his head, which of course only added more white particles to the the snow around him. Without adding anything to that, they all boarded the car and Maeda started explaining, «It has become apparent as to what medication Ms Piss was taking; she was being administered immunosuppressant. As you no doubt have guessed by now, when Melissa was a kid she received your sister's kidney after Maya died in that accident. »

Then Brea suddenly rammed her palms in her eyes, «Oh no not again! », as a flashback she'd seen four hundred times reoccurred. Daniel stared at her as if she was mental, which would have killed more citizen if the city wasn't empty. Maeda just kept explaining things as Aya screamed in pain, shaking her head, «Your mother and your sister were donors; that's odd since I've never heard of a young child giving her consent for having her organs transplanted if she came to die. Your mother's couldn't be transplanted because her body had been devastatingly mutilated in the accident. »

Brea rammed her head backward on the seat, «Thanks for reminding me of that. »

«So your sister's was transplanted into the young Melissa, she had kidney failure. The researcher Hands Cramp was the intern present at that operation. He wanted to become a doctor. The actual doctors that were present during the operation were all surprised, screaming that the kidney was hot. »

The flashback ended so Aya could stop trying to pluck her eyes out, «And let me guess, they all died. »

«No, sorry to disappoint. The original was present in Maya, Eve killed the host brain, cultured the kidney and obtained her own physical body. In Melissa's case, the immunosuppressant drugs served to act as a catalyst. In Japan, Eve targeted a girl who had undergone the same transplant, and she was taking the same drugs. »

Suddenly Brea yelled, «Fuck sake! », before switching the radio off, «Fucking opera is just about everywhere! »

Maeda continued, «This was all so that Eve would have a uterus to plant the fertilized egg. Hence the HLA list and drugs to control the immunity and avoid organ rejection. »

«I read how Melissa took so damn many, probably was crushing the pills and poured the powder unto her cereals and all, or sniffed them. No wonder they made her weak enough for Eve to take over. So then, my own sister is the original Eve... badassness runs in the family after all. »

«In reality, it's Maya's mitochondria...»

« _Don't_ ruin the moment. »

* * *

Back to the admiral and captain on the ship, the captain appeared as though he could piss his pants from joy, «Finally! The time has come to put our power to the test! »

The Admiral, who'd been waiting all this time to commence the attack, eyed him, «Took you long enough in the bathroom, I was beginning to think you had flushed yourself. By the way your fly is open and I'm quite distressed to realize you're not wearing any underwear. »

«F-forgive me, Admiral! »

The Admiral picked up another invisible receiver, «Calling all fighter jets! We have just received permission to attack! »The captain gave him a side glance wondering where he'd get that permission, his superior continued, «Commence operation! Head for the Statue of Liberty! As planned, helicopter team 1, AKA "Suicide Squad", will prepare for plan 2. Team 2, AKA "The ones who should have been doing plan 2", will search...errr, whatever, and the rest will do their best to impede further advancement while doing your best not to shit yourselves. Well knowing that none of you will come back then I'd say you can shit your pants since the cleaning crew won't have to deal with your leftovers afterwards. If anything new comes up I'll keep screaming orders in this invisible microphone as you fly towards your death!»

* * *

Back in the speeding car zigzagging on the streets dangerously, Daniel cursed, «The Navy's made their move! » Brea looked at him as he kept talking, «...I, hear voices. Well, nothing fucked up like an evil entity asking me to kill people...» Maeda sat back, listening with insecurity as Daniel continued, «Sometimes there are tiny cute voices singing a lullaby, I think they're teddy bears trying to communicate for me to save them from demons. »

Aya wasn't blinking, «...I really should drive-»

« **NO!** _I'm_ the one in charge! », foam spat forward on his hands and the wheel.

The woman's hand slowly reached for her gun and remained on it. Maeda cleared his throat, «Anyway we can't allow this and repeat what happened yesterday with the jets. »

Aya glanced back, «What do you suggest? It's not like we can stop them in the air, I'm not a Krypton. »

Then commences a scene where camo-choppers approach the slimy creature, it bends on itself becoming a big ball with a kinetic barrier shielding it; Eve is at its center probably giving birth to the Ultimate Being. Up to that point it really looked safe to get nearer, because they had orders but also due to being suicidal; once they got too close however they swiftly got blasted to pieces by the barrier's kinetic projectiles.

Meanwhile in the car, Daniel was still foaming all over himself so Aya pulled her rifle on him, «Stop the car NOW or I shoot, and you know how badly I want to. », after doing so they exited and watched the choppers get decimated. Maeda wished he could film this, for science, of course...he also wished he had pop-corn. «Those cells, Eve's giving birth to the Ultimate Problem...»

Then jets came close and fired missiles but they got diverted by the barrier, next they also got obliterated; just some more debris that Manhattan will have to clean, if there's a city left after all that. Once the threat eliminated, the slimy creature resumed its walk towards the Statue of Not So Liberty. Meanwhile a helicopter spotted the trio and landed, a dude came out of it asking for officer Brea, fortunately for him she's not Lara croft else he'd have gotten shot in the face right then.

Thanks to military protocol the man shoved his right hand on his forehead so hard it dug through his skin, «Madam, we somehow heard of you being immune to that creature's powers, so we need your help before every last one of us dies atrociously. So it's my duty to abduct and force you into our aircraft carrier! »

She walked towards him, «Let's get this over with, I can't wait to get home and eat pizza. »

Everyone teleported over there, the Admiral offered them sandwiches, «Welcome aboard the Navy's pride and joy, the Numbskulls. »

Well, damn. Torres would have liked that one.

While he talked, Aya noticed that the four men in the back near the windows never moved, upon closer inspection she realized they were made of cardboard.

«I'd tell you my name but who cares since all you need to know is that _**I**_ command this ship. Therefore I'm not the least sorry to have you come on such short notice. », then his voice lowered a bit, «If I had my way with you _ordinary_ people-»

The captain whispered to him, «Sir, you're saying that out loud again...»

The Admiral glanced around, «Well, I'm asking you to get in our chopper and nuke the creature; it needs to be fired at close range in order to work. »

Brea poked one of the cardboard dudes and it fell, she looked at the Admiral, «Sure, in fact I've dreamt to send a nuke in her face since we first met. »

«Our fate lies in your hands... I can't believe I just said that without pissing myself from laughter or dying of a heart attack. »

The captain informed him, «Sir, blood is coming out of your nose and ears. »

Then out of nowhere Daniel mentioned his ex-wife for the hundredth time even though he doesn't give a shit about her, so Aya ignored him again as he was just trying to look normal. As Maeda dug his hand in his jacket she glared at him and then left. The scientist blinked in stupor when she vanished off screen, «B-but, I just wanted to offer her this donut...», once the word had crossed his lips he felt something wet and warm close around his entire hand, looking down he saw Daniel there.

They both blinked, the Admiral whispered to his captain, «Get that filth off my dick. »

«...Sir? »

His superior's face turned red with anger, «I said get that filth off my deck at once! »

The captain pushed both men out and locked them outside, once he got back on the main deck he lifted that cardboard man off the floor. Gently tapping the man on the shoulder, he said, «Nice view, huh. »

The Admiral called to him, «Lynch! How many times must I order you to stop flirting with the crew! »

«Sir! Vince was taking a nap on the floor so I woke him up! »

«Vince! If you keep this up _I'll_ give you a good reason to sleep! A bullet in the head! »

Meanwhile, Brea got into the helicopter thinking how hard she'd have to scold her little sister for all this mess, then tossed her cool leather jacket aside now only going into battle with her white t-shirt for some reason.

Four additional helicopters took off her alongside hers, went through the city and executed many unsafe maneuvers between buildings while a tune played through the speakers. They flew around the city like that for a good seven minutes, however there was oddly no sign of that unknown pilot from the early days; you know the one who's always wasting fuel around the city for no good reason? Figures, now that he'd have a reason to fly that chopper and help to save the city then he's nowhere to be seen.

Well the Navy pilots kept at it until Aya said, «Alright I get it, you're all suicidal, now cut it out and do your job. Moreover I need to piss. »

One of the pilot informed, «The creature is within view! Switch to formation "we're as good as dead". », thus they aligned themselves ahead of Brea's chopper.

«So you're going to act as my shields? Can't possibly beat my vest but OK. »

«Yeah, the last seventh times were awfully short and brutal; now we know how to anticipate its attacks. »

«...Took you that long to realize that? »

«...Judging us hardly matters now since we're-», the first and second chopper in line blew up.

Aya clapped her hands together, «Woohoo, fireworks! »

Then another, next the fourth shouted, «We're entering firing range! Prepare to attack! », and exploded, leaving the final helicopter to fly through the creature's slimy hand as it tried to stop her. Now instead of remaining there doing nothing while having cheesy whimpering monologues with herself, Brea pushed the missiles' button launching one which obliterated the slimy face. The substance exploded all over the statue of liberty, one vertical trail was beneath its nose making it seem as though it was coming out of there; then the statue fell from under the weight of what was left of the creature.

The island was a mess now, similar to most of the city; good job everyone. Aya stared down at the orange mass trying to know whether she'd have to dip her ass in there or not.

Then back on the vessel, the Admiral and Lynch got overexcited from having destroyed the statue and most of his men being dead, and popped open bottles of Pepto-Bismol despite not knowing whether Eve was truly dead or not. So they slapped each other's asses and danced around like military morons, spreading pink droplets everywhere. The cardboard dudes were clearly unimpressed; they were always so damn moody party pooper.

Back on the messy island, from the pool of slime filtered a bright light, it created a luminescent hole from which an evolved Eve came out; she spread her mutated arms wide to show off like usually, and then looked up at the chopper with defying eyes while smiling. «I truly am such a fatherfucking bad ass. »

Despite still being armed with three remaining functional missiles, Brea decided she liked it better close and personal hence grabbed a parachute before jumping out. While freefalling, some subtitles asked her if she wanted to save. Aya stared frowning at the floating words thus almost broke her legs upon landing; she rolled on herself from the impact but got her face buried in slime. Spitting and coughing, she looked up at the tall creature towering her, Eve chuckled, «Take your time, puny human...»

Aya straightened and popped the rifle from her buttocks, «Shit, couldn't you be endowed with creating chocolate rather than slime? »

«Could have been if only you unworthy beings were constructed of something delicious, but since you're made of crap...»

Then Aya saw that Eve's legs were stuck in an orange-red moldy ball of tissue with many shit dangling from underneath, «What in atrocity's fuck is _that!?_ It looks as though an animal ate something it shouldn't have, digested it then puked it out before it grew freakish arms! And that blue-greenish twirl, that some sort of Christmas decoration? »

«Everything you see is way more powerful than those scrawny legs of yours; you'll see. »

«Well _presently,_ I'm seeing you haven't lost your love for hovering... What the fuck Maya? When you told me that your dream was to change the world, I didn't think this is what you meant. »

«Hmph... It's futile; your sister isn't in here anymore. And by fear of repeating myself for the hundredth time; you HAVE the ability to EVOLVE! Why take the side of a DOOMED species?! And DON'T give me any of that "because I'm a human", sniveling stereotype crap else I'll rip your tongue and eyes out before shoving them in your mouth! Including every inch of my very long and sharp arm! »

«Well I'm not doing this for them, I actually just want to get home and eat pizza everyday like I used to do. You ruined that good time, so you have to pay; also give me back my dead sister, we've got a score to settle over a bag of chips she once stole from me. »

«You want her alive or _dead?_ Anyway it's not like you'd understand if I started talking about how we mitochondria just used your filthy kind in order to get where I'm standing this instant. Not like it'd serve any goddamn purpose to waste my saliva since I'm going to kill you seconds from now, then I'll roast your corpse over a fire. »

«So it's that whole "Ah don't need ya anymoar." thing, right? Reminds me of my ex when he learned to wipe his own ass then left me for an anorexic bimbo with breasts bigger than his brains. »

«I don't care whatsoever about your history, which will become ancient history moments from now by the way; perhaps it'd be featured in a museum if I hadn't destroyed that as well. Oh, and if I wasn't going to obliterated everything else too. Looking forward to ruling this Earth, what's left of it. », then she ascended as opera singing began.

« _OF COURSE_ there was going to be some FUCKING OPERA! »

Eve shot yellow energy balls from protuberances looking like fleshy canons, Aya just stood there as it did zero damage. Then Eve shot many yellow reddish needles from her right hand which also didn't do shit, making Brea snicker. The cop could only laugh some more when Eve grabbed her with the longest of her dangling arm underneath that fleshy-ball to perforate her body and eyes with three consecutive stabs; nothing happened there again. Pissed, Eve used that same arm to slap Brea in the face, which abnormally did 3 points of damage for some reason.

The two still linked at each others, Aya said, «That didn't even make sense...»

«Similar to your existence; _now WHY WON'T YOU_ _ **DIE!?**_ », ensued more needles plus more zeros. Brea was over with being humored and fired at the enemy; it damaged the three targets available but also made Eve moan as if she was enjoying it. The human eyed her, «...What are you doing...? »

«You didn't hear that. Anyway, I'll give you points for trying. »

« _I_ should be the one saying that... »

«But enough of this nonsense! I actually have more urgent matter to attend to, like a certain inhuman baby I left somewhere with no babysitter available. », then waved her oversized arm for drama while continuing, «Watch and learn what EVOLUTION REALLY means...! »

«Why are you people ALWAYS screaming?! »

Eve ascended higher in the air once more, Brea stared, «Damn she really likes to do that, doesn't she. »

Eve changed again though her new form way more human-like than the one before despite this being evolution...and she was still naked, of course she had to...

Aya crouched to take handfuls of slime before throwing it at her, «For the love of my eyes, _cover yourself_! »

Eve dodged the human remains and descended to the woman's level, «Hahaha! »

«Yeah life while you still can. »

Eve violently struck Aya with her solid hair which didn't hurt but inflicted her with an ailment, as Brea was doomed to move slower she glared at her vest, «The fuck?! I equipped you with many anti-ailments and pumped your stats way high and YET you dare to fail me!? »

Eve revolved hastily around her prey and hit her some more but to no avail, it would seem the damn woman was using some trickery she couldn't explain. «Well let's see if you'll survive _this..._ », she ascended higher and joined hands together, a purple aura glowed around her to concentrate on her limbs now changing into a big luminous arrow. It launched rapidly and the impact exploded rocks upward as if the blow would create a crater...but it still did zero damage.

Brea grinned, while someone off screen laughed hysterically from being such a damn invincible bad ass player.

Eve spat at the cop, «YOU! What did you do in order to get so strong?! What trickery is this, did you eat too much spinach!? », and slapped the human some more.

It inflicted Brea with low defense and glued her where she was too, but meh, nothing the Medic skill couldn't fix right away. The woman aimed at Eve that kept revolving around her, so much it dizzied her as she spun on herself like no humans would be able to do, «Admit it, _sis,_ I'm better than you. », and fired.

Eve stopped moving around, «You're cheating! Just like you cheated in the museum! »

«Hey! I didn't cheat back then, I got it right, that's all! And my stats have evolved beyond yours, that's also all there is to it. Stop being such a lousy loser! »

Eve started to have spasms then a substance flew down her forehead, Brea looked at her wrong, «Is that, caramel...? Why is it that you and those rats spew caramel?! », the creature continued to break into pieces and dropped in the slime; it started melting down as Eve stared creepily at the woman, smiling some more. Brea frowned, «Damn it, you _have got_ to stop staring at me like that, your silent innuendos are disturbing. », then there was nothing left of the enemy.

Except for gooey shit everywhere; including inside her boots.

«Now how do I get off here? »

She got reminded of the walkie-talkie when it screeched live with Maeda's voice, «When I was young... I was young. »

Aya lowered her lids and sighed heavily.


	6. Day 6- LUBRICATION

**Day 6 – LUBRICATION**

 _(Liberation)_

Three carriers neared the messed up island and illuminated it with bright spotlights; it also made Aya's eyes implode. Fortunately she used heal to grow them back and went onboard the vessel. There was this nice tune playing through invisible speakers on the ship, Brea looked like she was nearing hypothermia with her arms against her chest and shoulders doing nothing to help. «Shouldn't have ditched my jacket. I liked that coat, why did I do that for? »

The turd wearing a similarly-colored outfit ran to her along with the scrawny scientific whose blue shirt and hair grew white the more he scratched his head. Daniel took her by the shoulders and shook her violently, «Dammit why do ya always haff'ta be so goddamn awesome, ya makin' us all look bad! »

«No, you're fully capable to do that yourself. », she tossed his hands away.

Maeda stood close to her, «I'm relieved you made it back safely. », before pushing his glasses so far up his nose they came out of his anus.

«Of course, else who's going to save your asses if I don't. »

He wriggled his hands together in embarrassment, «Well, that too but, also because of that unspoken thing between us...»

Aya neared her face towards his, «Yeah, it's called 'air'. »

«Hm k. »

«You should know that as a scientist. »

«Right, no need to make it any more awkward. So as to change the subject fast; Eve chose a spot near water because of what the ocean symbolizes. The sea is the mother of all creation, yes, even for you Mr. D., unfortunately. This is where she wanted to give birth. »

And that's where the subject was dropped as suddenly the scientist was nowhere to be seen and Daniel stood near the edge staring off distance. Aya sized him, «...Are you gonna puke...? », there was no answer. She then decided to visit the interior of the vessel, because what else was there to do knowing full well that Eve had given birth right where they stood; and that the Ultimate Being, of all things, was probably this close from annihilating them all?

Yup, time to wander aimlessly inside and have a chat with Wayne while their gruesome death draws nearer.

So she neared the door and tried to open it but it seemed stuck, hence Aya used her very powerful scrawny arms to swing it open violently thus chopping off the right arm of the naval officer standing near it. Pretending to have nothing to do with all this as the poor man yelled in pain, the cop walked inside where she stumbled into Maeda, «Brea, Wayne came all the way from the precinct to see you. I seriously don't know how he did it since he can't teleport himself. »

The pony-tailed youngster waved, «Yo! »

Aya shot a glare at him, «Don't 'yo' me, we're not friends. »

The scientist then puked all over himself, «Gosh...it's the oil...»

Brea stepped away a bit, «...what...?... »

He burped and it smelled like shrimps, «...it makes me queasy, the smell...»

«Well anyone who can smell what your stomach contained would feel sick, I suppose. »

«No, I mean, the smell of oil... »

«...OK...? You sure it's not the way the boat sways instead? »

Maeda vomited again so Brea moved out of his way, «Alright I won't mention it again. », and he dashed outside slamming the door open which amputated the remaining arm of the poor guard out there. The woman neared Wayne, he looked her over, «You've got slime on you. »

«Want some in your mouth? »

«Hell no! Why do you have to be so damn aggressive all the time? »

«Because I'm a woman in a man's world so I can't afford to be ''weak''; besides, I've got ovaries of steel. So why are you here? »

«Well I heard, via brain waves, that you blew that thing to BITS! And also ruined the statue of liberty, so I had to come and see that. Everyone's sayin' that you're the number 1 cop in NY right now! »

«Knowing this city has been evacuated and that 80% of the few who remained behind are dead; then I'm assuming that counts for a very small amount of "everyone". »

He clicked his tongue, «Geez, why do you have to be so annoyingly smart all the time? »

«Because I fucking AM. », her face twitched.

«Hey, what's wrong?! You killed that thing; aren't you happy...? », he thinned his eyes, «Do I have to run away from you or something? You mutating...? »

She slammed her curled fist against the wall, «It _isn't_ over, Eve gave birth in these waters and the freakin' Ultimate Being should be converging on us any second now. »

«...Somehow that doesn't sound awesome. Guess I should have stayed at the station eating cookies while jacking off to firearms. »

«I did not need that information. »

«Hey! As a souvenir for blowin' Eve away, I'll engrave your name on any weapon! », his face was lit like a goddamn Christmas tree.

«I've done that myself already. »

Wayne appeared hurt and his eyes shun with misery, «K. I'll just, um, stand over here near the cruiser's map, in case I have the chance to escape from death once shit hits the fan some more... And I brought shovels for that purpose, so if you need 'em... I'll be standing here. If I'm still alive. Thinking about how I shouldn't have come here. », and he faced the wall staring at the map.

She suddenly whacked him behind the head consequently his forehead collided with the wall, «OW! », he faced her, «What was that for?! »

«Cheering you up. »

«That is _not_ how it's done! »

Aya shrugged, «Don't know, not good at this whole human thing. »

He rubbed his forehead, «So you gonna hand me your excess baggage or what? », he got hit in the face so his head bumped into the wall behind him; that was her response. Brea left her victim alone and walked towards another naval officer posted across the next door, he swiftly rammed his right hand at his forehead saluting her. Almost knocking himself unconscious.

«I seriously don't know how you guys manage not to amputate yourselves _while_ piercing your eyes when you salute at the extreme like that. »

«I have received some supplies from Admiral Williams...or at least I would have if we hadn't lost contact with the pilot who'd been flying around the city for so long. He tends to do that, goes out of hand; last year we lost track of him for two months. »

«No big deal, not like I need anything your cheap selfish Admiral would have sent. »

«With all due respect ma'am, he's not that cheap. »

«He has cardboard dudes standing on deck and I've seen him drink scrumptious hot chocolate in your faces while offering you none! »

«...Sorry ma'am, on duty. »

«Sure. We'll see how well that goes in some minutes once that Unnerving Being drops by. », she exited noticing a trail of blood near the door extended towards farther ahead where someone seemed to be taking a nap. «Well this one's not on duty. »

A helicopter landed, the admirable Admiral and Lynch exited, «Sorry we're late; but the junk food we ate was way too good to give up so quickly. »

His Captain glanced over him, «Admiral, you've never been sorry before...»

«Exactly. »

Brea waved a hand, «Shut it, we've got more important matters at hand than your uninteresting stories; I'm sensing the Ulcer Baby is being born. », they stared as the ugliest newborn on Earth came out of its viscous egg; its very first wail set fire to two of the carriers before they blew up. «Now that's power. But damn I _hate_ babies. »

Daniel screamed while pissing his pants, «WHAT DAH HELL IS THAT?! »

Aya glared at him, «I thought it was fucking obvious by now, you retard! »

Maeda had an orgasm, «Yes, _YES!_ I've FINALLY seen it! »

Brea eyed him, «Alright, keep it in your pants. », a creepy tune started playing, «And that baby got its own theme song as well. »

A naval officer ran to them, «What are you fuckers doing?! We've got to escape unless you also want to get decapitated then burnt to a crisp! _Get to the chopper!_ »

The woman popped the rifle from her armpit, «Yeah flee while you still can, go get me some food because I'll be even hungrier once I'm done here; saving the world while having a hell of fun. »

Maeda started sweating abundantly, Aya stared at him, «Are you having a heart attack...? »

«No it's just that uhh, I want to give you something but I'm scared I'll get brutally shot. »

«Just leave, I'll be back. »

«My mother said the exact same thing to me when I was young; she never came back from the grocery store. »

«So she had finally run away from a life of servitude having to play shitty docile housewife, huh.»

«Maybe, but it's because a meteor completely obliterated the store and everything around it. »

«Still way better than the other alternative. Just go now. »

The pilot shouted, «If you two morons wish to die then I don't care but at least vocalize your suicidal intentions so I can get the fuck off this carrier! »

Well Daniel was always seated and Maeda still wanted to be alive to witness the show, so he finally ran away. How nice of the evil baby to wait for them to settle this dispute and take off in a helicopter before finally showing up at the vessel. Its theme song intensified as it ascended on board from the port side, but even before it could utter more annoying baby noises its ugly face got blasted to pieces ever so violently, «I truly, extremely can't stand kids...My sister learned the hard way when we were young. »

The nauseating newborn dropped to the floor and moved its arm as if trying to catch the woman despite her being far away, whilst uttering additional freakin' infant sounds. Brea grimaced, «Congratulations you know how to move your goddamn arms; just fucking die already before I puke all over you! »

Then it started to grow while tiny explosions occurred all over it, making Aya frowned severely, «Stop farting! It's bad for the ozone layer. »

Now it had reached the size of a teenager with some sort of wings plus two weird appendages protruding from in between its shoulder blades and ass. The one expanding over its head had a red tip that oddly resembled something familiar, and so did its tail with a pink tip, «Of course you'd float about; you truly are your mother's son. »

The being shot white lasers from its wings three times which didn't even tickle her, then it fired three small balls of light from its 'tail', also pointless against the woman. When Aya opened fire, the creature separated itself from its wings and those floated as the lower portion leaped around the ground. It shot a long purple laser from its tail while the wings hurled balls at her; Brea scratched her behind, unimpressed since still requiring no healing. She killed the wings first then the last portion went through the same mutating process, afterwards the song changed in order to impress with what was coming next.

The being had evolved into an adult-shaped form and had muscles as if he'd been working out, green sparks coursing over him. But the tactic to astonish wouldn't work on the woman; she lowered her rifle a bit and grimaced, «EWW it's just as I thought! Are those huge bags behind your ass _testicles_ and that very long thing ending with a red tip your PENIS!? I didn't need to see that! », and used the Energy Shot to blast the atrocities to pieces before he even dared using a Penis Blast at her. Somehow it dropped to its knees dying in the upper right corner of the screen so all we could see was his right forearm, having to assume he was indeed done for.

«Look at that, you were so goddamn insignificant that they chose not to show your death. »

This third form didn't mutate while farting though, the song switched back to the original theme as the fourth shape appeared right in front of the cop. Three times her size; it was all green and its skin appeared translucent plus soft as if it was meant to live underwater. The fact that its 'arms' and two long tails resembled fins supported that image, plus it was hovering _of course_. Its most bad ass feature was that skull face and rib cage enveloped in the same green jelly. Aya swallowed while staring up, «Alright, now you look awesome for once.»

The daunting being revolved around the human slowly while summoning green crystals which in turn darted around the place trying to hit her, also shooting red lasers from time to time.

And yeah, it did zero damage.

Aya fired at the enemy but all it did was two points of damage, she lowered her rifle as the prevailing being seemed to chuckle softly. The woman licked her dry lips, «Right...you're special. Finally a worthy foe. », she tried the powerful Energy Shot but it performed even worse than her rifle, «...Crap. »

The Ultra Badass seemed to smile at her with that skull face stuck in jelly, oddly she wondered if it'd taste like apple-flavored jell-o if she bit it. Aya glared upward at the sky by lack of speakers to frown at, «Alright alright, I get it! », then mimicked the looping song, «Eee yah yah, eee yah yah; _yeah!_ », she looked back at the creature, «So what the fuck am I supposed to do with you? I mean you obviously enjoy dancing with me along with all your pretty disco crystals shooting cherry-flavored concentrated beams, but I've got food waiting for me at home. Plus something tells me if I try to drown you I'll be wasting my time. »

As a response she received a laser in the eye, stumbling backward, «Pretty certain that would have rendered anyone else completely fucking blind beyond saving. Where's that so-called backup when you actually need it?! _You're always all talk Daniel!_ I don't know maybe throw me some sea food; perhaps it'd offend it a bit. »

The green semi-translucent creature just endlessly kept revolving around the human with its floating gems harassing her, «Look I know you've just being born and you want to remain alive so you can enjoy stuff in this world that makes this shit life worth living for; like delicious food and good music, play video games all day long, write fun stories and sleep to forget you hate your shitty existence. But it'll have to be you or I since you're obviously hell bent on terminating us all; so just be a good 'boy' and lay dead. It'll be alright. For us. »

From up there in the helicopter, the three men watched the scene below. From the look of the unmoving and unblinking pilot then one could easily mistake him for being dead. But seeing he was stationary while wasting fuel, then I think it's safe to assume this is our guy that has been doing it around Manhattan since Day 1. It's like his fucking mission.

Daniel banged his face on the glass, «Damn it, it never ends! If only I could provide the backup that I never truly offer, since that always seems to help! »

Maeda scratched his head spreading more of his DNA around him, «But it's your fault you big ape! I have tried to give her these very special bullets that I created with her cells in them.»

Daniel grabbed the clip before jumping from the chopper, the pilot didn't even give a physical response to that either. As the black man fell he soon started to burn then threw the magazine Aya's way which she received in the throat, further down he exploded his balls as he collided with the carrier's handrail, then fell into the water crying. Well he better not come out for air else his head will burst aflame again.

«What the fuck Daniel, I don't even need that shit! »

Her walkie-talkie beeped, «They're special bullets! It'll cut through this creature like butter, or like through air similar to your partner's empty skull. »

«Gotcha. », surprisingly she was a bit disappointed that the scientist didn't say some weird non-related shit over the radio this time.

The determined cop eyed the cool foe, « _Now let's dance for real._ », with 1598 hit points per ammo for a total of seven bullets; the being was forced to ground level where it went through what seems like a seizure as its fin-like limbs severed apart like liquid splashing around. It fell limp then that jelly substance covering its skeleton receded from its skull... only to get back up now pursuing Aya while hovering closer to the floor. It also triggered a speedy tune indicating that Brea should fucking run away now and fast.

«Hm K. Plan B... I just wish I knew what that plan is though. », Brea rushed inside the cruiser thinking she was relatively safe now to come up with a so-called plan, and too bad Wayne was gone since he could have been bait; but it turns out her new fan was cleverer than zombies thus knew how to open doors as well. The next couple of minutes were spent with her being mercilessly hunted down by the Undead Badass who swayed above ground on its belly like a fish wanting to eat her alive. And that was probably it since what else would it do, ask for her Twitter username?

So yum yum it is.

Opening solid doors through an intense motion as if the whole wall would come along with it, the woman sprinted through the vessel while the tune played faster and faster, indicating that if she didn't hurried it up she'd be truly fucked this time.

Then something justly goddamn significant occurred, «Brea! Do you by any chance happen to like Asian men?! Or, just one to be more precise? », the radio screeched.

Aya kicked a door open, «Bit busy here, Mad-ea! Keep it in your pants, pal! »

«Too late for that... Have you _seen_ those explosions, and how that _badass creature_ magnificently went through all that _mind-blowing_ evolution within mere **MINUTES!?** »

She easily pictured spit raining down on the walkie-talkie plus all over the cockpit, his eyes bloodshot red and veins pulsing in his neck. «NO, I totally didn't see any of that despite being _fucking close enough to lick its jelly flesh._ Now shut the hell up or you'll get me killed! Or worse! »

«I have Chinese fortune cookies waiting for you! Hurry up before Daniel finds them. Well I guess he won't since I hid them near my nipples. », radio went silent.

She heavily blew curls from her eyes while managing not to break her ankles by maniacally descending a long staircase, then taking a sharp turn around the corner. The creature didn't let up for one millisecond, its empty gaze targeting the human while still smiling mischievously. Eventually Aya reached the Engine Room and rammed her fists all over random buttons consequently fucking things up enough so that the boiler would overheat. She turned to her right when her persecutor dropped through the floor trap landing with a squishy sound.

«Do you know where where are? », because right now was the perfect time to start having a conversation with this invincible nemesis who could kill her instantly only by laying the tip of its fin on her skin. «We're in...wait, no way I'm saying a shitty line like that, this isn't even a kitchen in the first place! Not that, I've ever been into one, so I actually don't know what one looks like... But that's not the point. »

The creature neared her but remained as silent; if it could talk maybe it'd tell its prey that all it wants is a hug; a deadly, final embrace before he swallows the human whole, digests her and shits her out later. So charming.

The place went red as an alarm ringed, once the creature was close enough Aya could smell its inhuman scent, she decided it was time to get the hell out. However the blonde was still being pursued as she ran through the red-tainted corridors back to the surface, «If you were a police officer you'd get a medal for persistence, and cake. But since you want me dead then all you'll get is a cruiser to the face. », Brea exited now outdoor and jumped over the starboard as the vessel blew up behind her.

Poor Unrequited Being, having suffered bullying right from the start, unloved and feared...still, better than having to live this shit life in vain like every other life forms. She really did it a favor. Brea emerged from the water looking at burning ship, «Eve would be proud.», now realizing that the other cruisers having exploded earlier still had not sank during all this time. «Hm k... »

The cop swam to a pond where some police officers who had not died were, despite acting strangely as if they too were made of cardboard; along with Daniel and Maeda plus her leather jacket that had so mysteriously reappeared.

Daniel wiped non-existent sweat from his forehead implying that he had worked truly hard, rather than standing by only to eat anything he could get his hands on. «It's finally over...»

The scientist worriedly glanced around them, «Usually when someone says that is when shit gets worse...»

Aya punched his shoulder, «You've been staying in the USA for too long, you're starting to swear like us. Besides, it's not over yet, the player might start another Ex Game for the third time. »

Next they could have stared at the sunrise until their eyes melted into their sockets then down their faces, but Aya noticed something was wrong with the city; aside from being half destroyed plus covered with cadavers and slime, that is. «Hey, I didn't think they'd rebuild so damn quickly! They even had time to create that huge building greatly towering over all the others. »

Without a reply, she took off in their police car and went to investigate, leaving the two men alone with eerie cardboard dudes plus vessels sinking with bodies floating everywhere.

Brea entered the Chrysler Goddamn Building but seeing the elevator wasn't functioning then she had to ascend on foot the entire Heart-Attack Building up to the 77th floor. «Nice decoration...if it wasn't for all the substance covering everything which looks like liquid feces. » Arrived there she then slipped in slime and rolled down back to the 70th floor, «... **FUCK SAKE!** WON'T THIS EVER END!? »

Suddenly Maya appeared and slapped her sister behind the head, the cop turned around, «Hey! » but stopped realizing it was her dead relative, still wearing the same clothing that would have made anyone succumb to hypothermia.

«Surprise... I'M the original Eve, the _Purebred_ , you jackass. You seriously didn't think it'd be that easy? »

Ever so emotionally-dead, Brea ignored that only to point at something, «What's that behind you? Did you come out of that turd-looking shell...? »

«It's my sleeping pod. »

«Well it looks like an alien shat it out before laying disgusting tentacles around and puking brown intestinal fluids over everything. That or it had diarrhea, and you _slept_ in it. So, why are you being such a pain in the ass; didn't mom and dad give you enough toys to play with already? So you felt like playing with people's lives instead? »

«I never liked you, you're ugly. »

«...We're twins. »

«Whatever, I didn't build this tower so we could waste my precious time chatting; now _die._ », but Maya received something in the eyes, « **GARGH!** WHAT IS THAT!? »

«Police pepper spray, works on _anyone_. »

«You're challenging _me?_ _ **A purebred?**_ You've got a bigger death wish than I thought; I hope you brought diapers and prepared your obituaries...» Pissed, Maya changed into her real form which looks identical to when Aya unleashes her full powers through Liberate. And although that power is crap compared to Energy Shot that actually is worth using, the Purebred's form is way more powerful.

The cop frowned, «Why are you all endowed with the skill to fly _but I CAN'T?!_ »

At level 99 with 999HP and 99 stats everywhere plus inventory filled with Medicine 4 and Revive; it was still a somewhat challenging battle against a purebred; if not that much leveled up then you can kiss your ass goodbye then proceed to crying into a fetus position. As Aya ran around through the feces-like fluids making funny noises, Eve teleported right beside her and gave the woman a harsh backhand slap, which effectively killed her relative since this is a fucking purebred who doesn't fuck around.

Fortunately, one Revive later and the human was back on her feet with some of her health, «DAMN YOU! Now I'm soaked with alien shit! Or is it actually yours? » Next, Eve raised her arm and suddenly two Mayas revolved around the room, Aya blinked a few times, «...The fuck are those...? »

One cast impairments on the cop while the other was tasked to heal Eve, once having done that the girl just jumped about acting all happy which was the creepiest thing in this already disturbing room. «Stop that shit...! » and she fired at the fake little girl but the illusion vanished. Eve dashed towards the puny human and kicked her in the face then in the crotch; it hurt twice as much since it had also created an electric current, « _Muahahaha!_ I'm so glad you came, isn't this fun? »

Minutes later of being kicked in the ass and laughed at, also being poked in the eyes by wraith-like little girls while listening to opera again through this battle; the rifle and uses of Energy Shot eventually won over the purebred. Rifle doing 726 hit points from each bullets or 2HP on a shielded Eve, and the PE power doing 1954HP, or 2135HP, and 3320HP depending.

Brea flicked alien shit form her face, «That was a truly long dance. Those 3320 hit points is what killed you! I win; you owe me several cold Root Beers! »

Then Maya talked to Aya in her own head, «Good job, thanks to you I've died for the second time. »

«Don't do that it's creepy! », then she got hot again forcing her to kneel in this brown unspecified nasty liquid, «Fuck sake you're ruining my sweet victory! »

«You think our parents would be proud to learn that you've murdered me? »

«That's not what's important! Remember when you stole cookies from me? I never forgave you for that. »

Eve interrupted them, «Stop your useless human blabber. I've awaken, time has arrived. Until a while ago, your stupid sister's body had the most evolutionary form of mitochondria. But now, yours has surpassed hers. Being within you, I am now the highest form of mitochondria ever present! I'm so extremely joyful right now I could roll on the floor for a full two minutes! »

Aya's eyes got bigger with horror, «Please don't! »

Eve continued, «Survival of the fittest...For real though, since in human's case it's usually survival of the stupidest. The time has come for us to be released. »

Maya interrupted, «Shut up! I'm the one who has the right to hate and kill her, not you! »

«Hahaha, the foolishness of youth... »

Brea grabbed her head, not knowing that her palms were covered with shit thus now spreading it on her hair, «Hell, I am beginning to know what schizophrenic people may feel like... »

Then a battle of cell organelle occurred within the officer resulting in Eve being defeated and Maya vanishing, «We'll meet in Hell; prepare for a tough battle then, _betch._ », then the voices were gone...and so were her awesome powers. « _Shit_ , I'm back as a normal cop now...that sucks. », then eyeing her clothes and hands, « _ **SHIT.**_ »

Well, no more opera, that's a relief.

When Brea descended to the 76th floor, she heard a little girl giggle shortly; it truly scared her so the woman slipped in slime, rammed her face in it getting some in her mouth. Knowing it's made of liquefied dead people, it was even worse, « _WHAT IN THE_ _ **FUCK**_ DID I DO TO DESERVE ALL THIS _**SHIT**_ , LITERALLY?! »

The descend back to the 1st floor would prove to be joyous indeed, «Fuck that I'm not doing that on foot. », she obliterated the elevators' doors, shot the cable to hell then slid down all the way to the exit. Sure her hands caught on fire and all but at least it didn't take her five years to reach the main hall. Besides, using Heal 3 took care of the problem.

Number 1 cop in NY; _bravo!_

You have saved this stinking city and all its worthless shallow inhabitants, so now they can keep copulating creating more human dejections and everything will grow exponentially far worse than it already is. And that's saying something.

Eve would be so fucking disappointed. So too would Dr. Ham Cramp, since they stole his secret stash of delicious pastries. That was truly a heartless move, even from you Aya. So utterly fucking cold.

* * *

After having saved Christmas from being absolutely shallow and boring, now truly making it worthy of being named X-Mas; Aya reunited with Maeda, Daniel and his son at Canary-Energy Hall, «Because I haven't heard enough of fucking opera already apparently. I'm seriously going to need mew eardrums. »

Daniel parked in front of the building and Ben jumped out of the police car, the boy was still only wearing shorts as an icy wind blew upon the city. He had wanted to open Brea's door for her but the cop swung it open at the same time, consequently sending the boy flying off right into the valet so they both hit their heads on the cold solid ground. Daniel exited the car with his tuxedo still all charred and falling apart, «Bit windy, but hey. Ben leave that poor valet alone, he's got no time to play with snowballs. »

Maeda neared the woman, «So you said the red carpet had two crispy bodies on it? »

«That's right, they would take none of the chips I offered, bit rude. »

Both marched onward, found an empty spot and seated, Daniel and his son were probably still outside trying to unglue the boy's face from the sidewalk. The scientist was seated at Brea's right, «...There is a blond man at my feet; is he dead...? »

« _Really_ he's still there...?! Well nothing important. »

Soon after Maeda moved in his chair for ten seconds as if his butt was itching, Aya glanced at him, «What are you nervous for? »

«Oh, err, um, I'm not. »

«You've been wriggling your hands together so much they're severely bleeding now. »

«Well, I just farted. », he pushed his glasses upward, «Sure is taking a long time for them to get here. »

«At least they can't smell your intestinal release. »

«Hem, so...Since I'm going to Japan tomorrow I might as well ask...», he turned to the woman, «Do you like the Ghost In The Shell anime(s)? », but then got tossed aside by the little boy who wanted to sit next to her, the scientist fell right on top of the blond cadaver. «Well this is peculiar, he's still warm! How is this possible, he's been here for six days!»

«Yay I'm seated next to Brea! »

Her face hardened, «Keep quiet and stop moving else I'll fling you right through the roof. »

Ben's eyes grew too big for his head and a little pee came out of him. Next the odor of burnt clothing filled the air once Daniel sat his ass down, «Sorry we're late, had to recover several of my boy's teeth from the ground. Valet's dead though. »

The music started, causing Aya's lips to spike up with a spasm, the opera singer wore a purple dress instead of red but the show was rather the same; except for when the king ordered to burn the 'witch' hence the guard showed with a burning rod this time. One second later he got shot right through the forehead before falling backward, the fire caught on with the wooden floor hence spread quickly as people started screaming whilst trying to leave in a panic.

Brea glanced around as she just had set in motion a second horrifying event in Canary-Energy Hall.

Maeda looked up at her, « _Arigatou gozaimasu_ , I really didn't feel like sitting here through this crap, especially with a dead man staring upward at me. Also, how do you feel about video games?»

Suffice to say the woman didn't get promoted the next day. Nothing a bullet or two in some legs couldn't fix though. Yeah her powers are gone but it doesn't mean she lost her guts.

* * *

Postscript; no little girls were harmed during those six days. Maya ran around freezing in clothes worse than any other characters, having lost her mind and body to an evil cell organelle; plus was mercilessly stared at and made fun of by her older sister only to be killed without remorse. Wait, that counts as being harmed? My bad then.

However Lorraine was hurt beyond recognition as she joined with the slime audience, but who gives a shit. Her ex husband sure doesn't. Poor Ben though, all he wanted for X-Mas was a pair of pants to warm his bony freezing legs.

Addendum; valets were also harmed, they even died. They just don't get paid enough and have zero coffee breaks. Eve should have set them aflame, at least it would have kept them warm but _nooooo_ she was just too heartless to even allow them that.

P.P.S.; donuts were EATEN ALIVE. They're the _true_ victims in this whole affair.


End file.
